K Stewart - A Devil in the Details

The last thing I needed was for the neighbors to see me talking to myself. I muttered under my breath. “Yeah, but she’s gonna be heartbroken when the cat keels over dead.”

“I can leave it alive, if you want, when I vacate.”

I looked down at the cat in my lap. “You can?” He nodded. It was an odd gesture, coming from a cat. “Then quit killing my squirrels, too!” I maneuvered around a large oblong flower bed in the middle of the yard.

“What’s it worth to you?” My contempt must have shown on my face, because he chuckled. “You have no sense of humor, you know that?”

“I’ve been told. What do you want? You’re not normally this clingy.”

“Just keeping an eye on my favorite demon slayer.” He actually began washing his ears in true catlike fashion, then blinked at his own paw. “Eugh, why do they do this?”

“You know, you can keep an eye on me quite well from the birdbath. Or from the house. Or from another state. Anywhere but from my lap.” It was like Marty or Will crawling into my lap. Ew. Guys just don’t do that.

“But I’d miss our little talks.” I swear the cat pouted.

“Don’t you love me anymore?” I know I gave him a scathing look then, and he actually purred. “You’re a collector’s item, you know. A dying breed. Fewer and fewer of you all the time. It’ll be a pity to see you all go the way of the dodo.”

“Well, I don’t plan on keeling over any time soon, so you can stop fretting your pretty little head.” I wheeled around the heart-shaped flower bed, making a mental note to get the Weed Eater and finish trimming around it later.

“I’ll bet your friend Miguel said that same thing to his wife, that last day.”

I slammed the mower into park, torturing the motor and engulfing us in a cloud of acrid exhaust. I turned it off, eyeing the orange tabby suspiciously. “What do you know, Axel?”

“Nothing I’m willing to share for free.” His fluffy tail swayed in a lazy rhythm, eyes half lidded in amusement.

“This isn’t the time to start playing the ‘I’ll swallow your soul’ game, Axel.”

“Who says I’m playing? This is what I do, Jesse; I bargain.” His purr went up about three notches, rumbling against my legs. “Just because you’re a friend doesn’t mean you get a discount.”

I snatched the fat tabby up by the scruff of his neck, dangling him at eye level. “So help me, Axel, if you know where he is, or what happened…”

“Careful, Jesse. You don’t want that sweet little old lady to come out here and see you abusing her precious puddy tat, do you?” The golden eyes gleamed red again. “I give nothing for free. You want to know what I know, let’s talk deal.”

“Tell me, and I won’t snap your furry neck.” I shook him once, and he answered with a low feline growl. Who knew Garfield had it in him?

“You can’t hurt me in this body. You know that. What’s it worth to you, Jesse, to avoid dear brave Miguel’s fate?” The cat sneered at me, fangs bared.

“I’ll dunk your furry ass in holy water-how about that for a deal?”

“I don’t think I want to play with you anymore. You’re not nice.” He took a swipe at my face with a loud hiss. Startled, I dropped him before I remembered Garfield didn’t have claws.

The chubby cat retreated to the shadow under the birdbath, tail lashing furiously. “Your arrogance will get you killed. When your soul is being tortured Down Below, remember I offered to help.”

“Get back here, you conniving little-!” I lunged off the lawn mower in his direction.

Garfield the cat regained control of his massive body as Axel escaped, and he let out a caterwaul to end all caterwauls. Puffing up to twice his previously huge size, he streaked for the nearest tree. I didn’t even know the lazy thing could move that fast. The cat huddled in the branches, visibly shaking.

Cussing under my breath, I put the lawn mower away and fetched Dixie’s ladder to retrieve poor abused Garfield. I placed my feet carefully on the metal rungs, keeping an eye on the terrified feline, but my mind was on Axel.

The demon bantered, he taunted, but he’d never been nasty to me before. He’s a demon, you dipshit! I cussed myself, too, while I was in a cussing mood. I was a million times an idiot for even half trusting him. I killed his kind on a regular basis, so what was I thinking?

The better question would be what was he thinking? Did he know something about Miguel, or was he just trying to trap me in my own curiosity?

No deals, no deals, no deals. I chanted it to myself like a mantra. Even minor bargains with demons could snowball. One tiny deal, one seemingly harmless trade only opened the door. Best not to start. But dammit, I wanted to know what he knew. That is, if he actually knew it. The conundrum was enough to scramble my brain.

A horn honked as I clambered down from the tree with a rather disgruntled Garfield wrapped tightly in my T-shirt. I waved as best I could to Mira and Annabelle. Anna was babbling a mile a minute as they got out of the Explorer, and she bounced her way across the street, clinging tightly to her mother’s hand.

“Daddy! Is that Garfield? Can I pet him? Why’s he in your shirt? Is Dixie home? Can I get a cookie?” It is possible that the cat was more afraid of my daughter than he had been of the possessing demon. With strength born of sheer terror, he struggled free and zipped inside the door as Dixie came out to greet us.

“Goodness, what’s got into him?” She eyed her cat for a moment, and I wanted to tell her she really didn’t want to know. Muttering about “that crazy cat,” Dixie wandered over with a plate of fresh snickerdoodles. “I thought I heard my favorite cookie monster out here!”

“Can I have a cookie, Dixie?”

“Anna,” her mother said, with that warning mother tone.

Annabelle immediately corrected herself. “Please?”

“Of course, sweetie. You can have as many as you want.”

Mira and I exchanged glances over the elderly woman’s head, and my wife managed to keep the cookie plunder to just one. When Dixie offered the plate to me, however, I couldn’t resist taking two, and Mira gave me the look of death.

“Now, Mira, if those storm sirens go off, you get you and Anna over here to my house. We can settle in the basement and listen to the radio and such.” Dixie waggled her finger at my wife.

Mira smiled. “I think we can probably do that. They’re saying it’s supposed to move through fast, not more than a day or so.”

That was more than I’d heard. “It’s gonna rain on Mom’s party.”

“It will be fine. We’ll adapt somehow.”

We gathered up the cookie monster and returned home for dinner. About the time Mira put Annabelle to bed, I’d have to head out again to get Kidd, but until then I could claim some quality time with my family.

Quality time included dinner, one round of horsey through the house (the hardwood was killing my knees by the end), and a rather boisterous bath, where the floor got cleaner than the child.

I lingered long enough to tuck Annabelle in, kneeling at the side of her bed to kiss her good night. Of course, that led to kissing the stuffed wolf good night, too, then the stuffed dragon, then the rabbit, then… She had a lot of animals wanting kisses.

“Will you be here when I wake up, Daddy?”

The question caught me off guard. “Of course I will, button. Why would you ask that?”

She gave me a sleepy grin and clutched her stuffed wolf to her chest. “Just checking.”

The sun was just beginning its descent as I arrived at the hotel, and Kidd’s watch-puppy was waiting in the hallway, still wearing a suit and tie (though it was blue this time). I had to wonder if the man even owned any casual clothes.