Brian Freemantle - A Mind to Kill

‘She screamed again?’ said Fosdyke.

Jennifer nodded, not immediately able to talk. When she could she said, ‘Stop it!’

‘You talking to Jane?’ demanded Mason.

‘You! Both of you. You’re patronizing me. Pretending you believe me but you don’t, do you? Because it’s not possible to be possessed, is it?’

‘I don’t know,’ admitted Mason. ‘I’ve never heard of a proven case.’

‘So why are you pretending to believe me?’

‘Don’t you want me to?’

‘ I haven’t really got to try, have I? They’ve made their minds up already. ’

‘Jane says you’ve already made your minds up that I’m mad.’

‘I haven’t,’ denied Mason.

‘Neither have I,’ said Fosdyke.

‘ They’re liars.’

‘Help me!’ pleaded Jennifer, looking between the two men. ‘For God’s sake, help me!’

‘How do you want to be helped?’ asked Mason.

‘Get her out of my head! Find a way to prove that I am sane and didn’t kill Gerald.’

‘I’m not sure I can do that,’ admitted the psychiatrist. ‘But I’ll try. And for me to do that you’ll have to help me.’

‘Anything. Whatever.’

‘ Why not open your legs? You’re good at that.’

‘Tell me everything she says.’

‘Everything?’

‘Yes.’

‘ Fuck him. Don’t! ’

‘She says fuck you. And that I should help you by opening my legs.’

Mason showed no reaction. Neither did the neurologist. Mason said, ‘She tried to stop you repeating everything?’

‘Yes.’

‘So you defied her?’

‘ He’s a cunt.’

‘She says you’re a cunt.’

Again neither Mason nor Fosdyke gave any reaction to the obscenities. Instead, suddenly, Mason said, ‘You were having an affair with Gerald Lomax when his wife was still alive, weren’t you?’

‘ Whore, whore, whore.’

Jennifer didn’t reply at once. ‘She’s calling me a whore.’ Then, ‘Yes, we were having an affair.’

‘You feel guilty about that?’

‘ Of course she didn’t. Mad whore.’

‘Yes,’ said Jennifer. ‘Jane says I didn’t but I did.’

‘Before his wife died? Or after?’

‘Before and after.’

‘ Liar.’

‘Did she know it was going on?’

‘No, she didn’t. And she called me a liar.’

‘ No, I bloody well didn’t know, you cheating whore! ’

‘Were you going to tell her?’

‘I wasn’t. Gerald wanted to. She’s calling me a cheating whore.’

‘Why didn’t he?’

‘I asked him not to. I didn’t want to be the person to break up a marriage.’

‘ Lying whore! ’

‘She says I’m a lying whore.’

‘Are you lying?’ asked Mason.

‘No.’

‘What did Gerald say?’

‘That he didn’t want things to go on as they were. That he didn’t love Jane and wanted the marriage to end.’

‘ LIAR! ’ The voice roared, making Jennifer wince. Only slightly quieter, Jane said, ‘ Happy with me. Loved me until you came along.’

‘What does the voice say?’ anticipated Mason.

‘That I’m lying. That Gerald was happy with her until the affair started.’

‘You think that’s true?’

‘Gerald said it wasn’t.’

‘You thought everything was all right between you and Gerald, didn’t you?’ pressed Mason.

‘You want me to talk about Rebecca?’

‘Do you want to?’

‘Answer me!’ demanded Jennifer, angrily. ‘Why do you respond to every question I ask with another question? Can’t you think for yourself?’

‘ They got a crap psychiatrist, Jennifer. Because they’re just going through the motions. You don’t even know if he’s qualified: from the way he’s dressed, he could be a hospital porter.’

‘Are you?’

‘Am I what?’

‘A qualified…’ began Jennifer, before stopping. ‘She says you’re a crap psychiatrist. Could even be a hospital porter.’

Mason laughed. ‘We’re really upsetting her, aren’t we?’

All the gauze-thin confidence that she could confront Jane had gone. Once more Jennifer felt totally lost, as if she was being sucked towards a whirlpool that would drag her down into a vortex from which she’d never escape.

‘ That’s it, honey. That’s how it’s going to be. Suffocating. Drowning. Like this…’

It became difficult for Jennifer to breathe: it was as if someone had their arms wrapped around her, squeezing the air from her and not letting her inhale any more. She began to pant, noisily.

‘You’re panicking,’ said the psychiatrist, calmly. ‘Don’t do that

…’ He felt out, enclosing her hand in both of his. ‘Breathe with me, slowly now…’ He began to space his words. ‘In and out, in and out, in and out…’

Gradually – too gradually – the band around Jennifer’s chest began to ease. ‘That was awful. Frightened me.’

‘You’re all right now.’

‘She could kill me, couldn’t she? Make me kill myself?’

‘ Good thought, honey. I’ll keep it in mind…’ There was the cackling laugh. ‘ Your mind, my mind, somebody’s mind. Thanks for the idea.’

‘I thought you said you could resist her?’

‘Not when she makes me move my…’ She stopped as first her left leg, then her right, kicked up under the bed covering. ‘Shit! shit! shit…!’

‘You stopped telling me what Jane’s saying?’

‘She said making me kill myself was a good idea. And that suffocating, as if I was drowning, was how she was going to make me feel. It was what it seemed like, when I couldn’t breathe.’

‘You can now.’

‘Yes.’

‘So how else do you feel?’ demanded Mason, quickly.

‘How do you think I feel?’

‘Don’t answer my question with another question.’

Despite herself – despite everything – Jennifer smiled at having her earlier protest thrown back at her. ‘Frustrated! Impotent!’ Then she repeated, ‘How else do you expect me to feel?’

‘Very different from that.’

‘ What’s he mean? ’

‘She wants to know what you mean?’

‘If she’s so clever, tell her to work it out for herself.’

‘ Tell me! ’ It was a shout, loud enough to make Jennifer grimace yet again.

‘Don’t tell her!’ Jennifer used the ploy she’d learned, uttering the words before the thought came in time for Jane to intercept.

‘I’m not going to.’

‘ Bastard! ’

‘She’s angry. Called you a bastard.’

‘Good.’ Then, quickly, ‘You didn’t know about Rebecca?’

‘No.’

‘Do you believe it?’

‘I want to hear Rebecca say it.’

‘Don’t you believe the police?’

‘I want to be in a room… somewhere… where she has to say it in front of me.’

‘Why?’

‘I thought she was my friend. Wouldn’t do a thing like that to me.’

‘Have you got a lot of friends?’

‘No.’

‘Does that worry you?’

‘It didn’t, until now.’

‘Why does it worry you now?’

‘I need someone to help me. Clothes. And there’s Emily.’

Both lawyers stirred against the wall. Mason and Fosdyke ignored them.

‘Tell me about Emily,’ suggested Mason.

Jennifer smiled, distantly. ‘She’s our life, Gerald’s and mine. He wanted a baby so much.’

‘ Liar. Made me take the pill. ’

‘She says I’m a liar. That he made her take the pill.’

‘Do you know if that’s true, about the pill?’

‘Jane was a severe diabetic: that’s what she died of, an insulin overdose. I know Gerald was warned that medically it would have been dangerous for Jane to become pregnant.’

‘ Murderers.’

‘She’s calling me a murderer. That’s what she says: that Gerald and I murdered her, so we could be together.’