Randy White - Everglades

Which is why, during good times and bad, we need to remind ourselves that just when it seems life can’t get any better-or worse-things inevitably change.

Tomlinson refers to it as humanity’s seismic roller coaster, his point being that, going up or down, we might as well hold on tight and enjoy the ride-a goofy kind of optimism that he usually exudes, and why I seldom refuse his invitations to travel.

Tomlinson had gone to the Everglades in search of what some Floridians call the Swamp Ape, or Skunk Ape, which is the tropical version of Big Foot or the Abominable Snowman. Because he’d cajoled and pressed, I’d agreed to join him.

I don’t believe such a creature exists, of course-no reality-based person could believe it-but Tomlinson is not a reality-based person, nor does he claim to be.

As the man once described himself: “I am a citizen of many universes, many dimensions, and-thankfully-wanted by the law in only a few.”

He often cloaks his personal, innermost beliefs in self-deprecating humor.

One thing I could not criticize, however, was the amount of research Tomlinson had done on the subject. When I told him that there was zero possibility of a primate, unknown to science, living in the wilds of Florida, or anywhere else in North America, he smiled his gentle, Buddha smile. Later, he handed me a thick folder of newspaper clippings and printouts from the Internet.

He’d pulled together some interesting data. Recorded sightings of the Everglades creature dated back to the time of Spanish contact. In the late 1500s, a Jesuit missionary, sent to live among the indigenous people of Florida’s west coast, described seeing a “… giant man, befouled by a body of hair, running away into the swamps.”

Occasional sightings by Europeans and Indians continued over the next four hundred years, but reached their peak of frequency in the early 1970s.

“The reason for that is obvious,” Tomlinson explained to me one night, sitting on the stern of his old Morgan sailboat. “That’s when construction was booming in Miami and Lauderdale, everything expanding west into what was then the Everglades. The bulldozers and draglines were draining the edge of the big swamp, scraping it bare, taking away all the cover. The River Prophet had to move around, maybe for survival… or maybe to investigate the damage being done to the biosphere.”

River Prophet-Tomlinson’s personal identifier for something that was more or less consistently described as a gorillalike creature, over eight feet tall, covered with hair, and that had a distinctive, sulfurlike odor. Thus the “Skunk Ape” reference.

Tomlinson decided to go to the Everglades in search of the Swamp Ape for reasons that were cryptic and multipur posed-like almost everything else in his life.

It had something to do with a pre-Columbian stone ceremonial circle, chiseled by indigenous people, recently discovered west of Miami. Back in 1998, a similar circle had been found in downtown Miami, near Brikell Pointe. It was a forty-foot archaeological treasure, carved into the limestone bedrock. The location was to have been a parking garage for a $126 million high-rise luxury condo complex, but public protests closed the project down.

This second circle included what Tomlinson said he believed to be small stone stela, not unlike certain Mayan formations found in Central America. He spent weeks at the site, and came away convinced it was both an astrolabe and an uncannily accurate map of the earth. Uncanny because-in his opinion-the map included North and South America, even though the circle of stones was constructed two thousand years before Columbus sailed.

“Extraterrestrials had to have been involved,” he told me. “It explains so much. The key, I am convinced, lies in the Everglades.”

Years ago, at Tomlinson’s urging, I’d read of claims for similar maps-the Turkish Piri Reis map of 1513, for instance, which supposedly shows all the Earth’s continents, plus the Arctic and Antarctic.

Misinterpretation of the map is an intentional hoax, of course-research has proven it, though some diehards, such as my friend, continue to believe. Similar hoaxes include Peru’s “alien landing strips” on the plains of Nazca, the Lost City of Atlantis, the Bermuda Triangle, the intentional government cover-up of information about UFOs and, of course, all the various legends of the Abominable Snowman or Swamp Ape.

Tomlinson and I no longer argue these things, although they do, occasionally, make for interesting late-night debate. As I’ve told him, I’d very much like to believe in the things in which he believes. I’d also like to believe in Heaven, visitors from outer space, divine creation, divine providence, divine revelation, predestination, telepathy, guardian angels, ghosts, soulmates, reincarnation, absolution and (most of all) I’d like to believe that order and virtue ultimately triumph over that which is evil, existential, random.

I don’t.

I don’t believe. I’d like to, so try to remain open, hopeful. I’ve known Tomlinson long enough to realize that one’s spiritual convictions have little to do with one’s intellect. His IQ exceeds my own by more than forty points (he’s not aware that I was once provided with his entire scholastic dossier). His gift for languages and interpreting nuance exceed my understanding or capability. The so-called intellectual types who assume that spirituality and religion are refuges of the ignorant simply provide testimony that condemns their own stunted intellects.

I’m often dumb, but not that dumb.

Sally was now another example-a gifted person who is also devoutly religious.

Yet, I don’t believe. Intellectually, I can find no rational, logical foundation for Tomlinson’s spiritual convictions. I am incapable of lying to myself, so I am incapable of embracing a spiritual view of the world. I’m hopeful, though. I remain hopeful.

So, I listened without comment as Tomlinson continued, “There’s only one Everglades. There’s no geographical equivalent to be found on this planet. The River Prophet could be down there doing research, inviting contact. Which is why there has been an unusual number of sightings lately.”

Tomlinson had shown me the newspaper stories. A Michigan couple in a Winnebago spotted a huge “apelike” creature near the post office in Ochopee. It supposedly jogged away when they tried to get a photograph. A Bud weiser delivery guy claimed to have almost hit a similar creature near Monroe Station. Both places are located on the Tamiami Trail, the asphalt conduit that crosses eighty miles of sawgrass, connecting Miami with the Gulf coast of Florida.

Tomlinson said, “So I propose we assemble an expeditionary team. Mack knows a man who’s got a hunting lease in the ’Glades-a couple of hundred acres, plus a cabin and a bunkhouse that sleeps eight. I’ll pack some food, make a list of people to invite. Scientists, trackers, psychics, para-normals: the most respected specialists in their fields. Oh yes, and don’t let me forget. Alcohol. We’re going to need whiskey, vodka, Everclear. All varieties of alcohol, and lots of it.”

I found the idea of going to the ’Glades in search of an imaginary primate comical, but also oddly heartening. To inspire tales of legendary monsters, wilderness must be sufficiently pristine to lend credibility to the possibility that there really could be monsters hiding out there somewhere.

I’ve never spent enough time in the Everglades to claim to know it well, but it was nice to believe that the region was still wild enough to create fear in outsiders.

So I went to the Everglades with Tomlinson. He planned on spending a couple of weeks. Four days turned out to be my emotional limit. For one thing, I have my business to take care of. Providing marine specimens to schools and research facilities around the country is not a booming industry, but it’s what I do, and I try to do it as professionally and expeditiously as I can.