Sue Grafton - V is for Vengeance

“They’re taking her up to surgery. The doctor will be out in a bit. Sorry I can’t tell you more. I’m telling you what they told me.”

I went outside and gave Pinky the paltry information I’d been given. I was wearing my windbreaker, but the fabric was light and I might as well have done without. He’d gone through four cigarettes, lighting each from the one he was about to stub out. I said, “Why don’t we go inside? I’m about to freeze to death out here.”

“They won’t let me smoke in there.”

I didn’t have the energy to argue and I didn’t want him sitting by himself. I resumed my seat, tucking my hands between my knees for warmth. Beside me, he sighed and hung his head, shaking it back and forth. “My fault. Shit, shit, shit. This is all my fault. I shoulda left well enough alone.”

“Pinky, don’t get into that. It’s not going to help.”

“But why’d I go after him? That’s what I’m asking myself. It was over and done and if I’dda kept my cool, he’d have been gone.”

“You want to talk about it? Fine. If it’s going to make you feel any better, I’m listening.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Anything happens to her, I’m going to kill that prick. Swear to god I am.”

“Dodie’s in good hands.”

He turned and looked at me. “How am I going to pay for her care? You should’ve heard what the lady in there was asking me. And what was I supposed to say? We got no insurance, no credit, no savings, nothing in the checking account. Dodie’s hurt bad and we’re racking up thousands in medical bills. She hasn’t been here an hour and I’m already in the poorhouse. She’s bound to be laid up, which means no income from her. I’m an ex-con. I can’t get a job for shit. And look at all the other bills we got. How will those get paid?”

“I’m sure there’s some form of financial assistance through the county,” I said.

“I don’t want handouts! Me and her are proud. We’re not deadbeats, we’ve just been down on our luck, and now we’re totally sunk…”

I kept my mouth shut and let him ramble. Dodie’s fate was unknown. He didn’t dare assume she’d live and he couldn’t own up to the fact that she might just as easily die. He was superstitious enough to avoid talk about either possibility lest he tip the scales. Instead, he focused on the financial upheaval, which he was equally ill equipped to deal with. He must have felt safer thinking about the bills he’d be facing, which were at least concrete and more nearly in his control than Dodie’s perilous state. I crossed my arms, hunching over to keep warm, thinking he could just as easily give vent to his worries in the hospital waiting room. He never once mentioned running out on his obligations, but his fretting was self-perpetuating. I felt like a Hallmark card when I suggested he deal with his troubles one day at a time. What was this, a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous?

I said, “Let’s talk about something else.”

He was silent, still brooding. “You know how all this started, don’t you?”

I shook my head.

“With Audrey Vance.”

“Audrey?”

“Yeah, I thought you must have figured it out. I was there the day of her arrest. I borrowed Dodie’s Cadillac late afternoon to take a little spin and got busted on a DUI. Audrey was brought in about the same time.”

“You knew her?”

“Oh, sure. Her and me go way back. I did a couple jobs for her and don’t ask what because I’m takin’ that to my grave.”

“Did you talk to her?”

He shook his head. “I only seen her in passing so I never had a chance. Next day she called in a panic because of what she witnessed that night.”

“Which was what?”

“When she came out of the station after her boyfriend posted bail? There sat Cappi in a parked car with Len. She knew who he was because she worked for his brother. Didn’t take a rocket scientist to know Cappi was on the police payroll, telling Priddy everything he knew. She knew she was dead meat if he realized she’d seen ’em together. Guess he must have done just that or she’d still be here.”

“So who threw her off the bridge?”

“Who do you think?”

“Cappi?”

“Of course. He had to shut her up or she’d have told Dante. Priddy may be corrupt but he wouldn’t go that far. Yet. Anyway, subject closed. I shouldn’t have let on, but I figured you must be concerned how I’d get caught up with the likes of him.”

“I did wonder,” I said.

“That asshole Cappi’s not going to get away with this. I get my hands on him, he’s dead.”

“If he’s on the run, he might leave the state. You don’t even know where he is.”

“I can sure as shit find out. I got street connections and I know where he lives. A guy like him can’t disappear. He’s not smart enough. He couldn’t even get a job on his own. He’s reduced to working in his brother’s warehouse. That’s how he gets the lowdown on all the stuff he’s passing to the cops.”

“Just stay out of it.”

“Oh, no. No, no. He’s not getting off that easy. I got ways to get even.”

“You can’t afford to get even. You’ll only make things worse.”

“You don’t know worse. I know worse. I ought to plug him full of holes and let him see how it feels.”

“Come on, Pinky. I can understand your wanting revenge, but that’ll put you back in prison and then what? Dodie’s in trouble. She needs you. It’s self-indulgent to brood about striking back when you’ve got more important issues to worry about. Leave him to the police.”

“After I get through, they can have him.”

“Forget that and focus on Dodie. I think we should hold good thoughts just in case it helps.”

“I am focused on Dodie. That’s the point. What he did to her, he pays for. Plain and simple.”

I gave up. The more I argued, the more determined he became. No point in fueling his rage by putting up resistance. At 9:00 he agreed to go inside, and it was nearly 11:00 when the surgeon finally appeared. Judging from his ID tag, he was foreign-born with a surname I wouldn’t know how to pronounce. I took one look at his face and left the two of them to confer. I wanted to hear what the doctor had to say, but it seemed tacky to listen in. As I watched Pinky’s expression change, the news probably wasn’t good. As soon as the surgeon departed, Pinky sank into a chair and wept. I sat down beside him and patted his back. I didn’t think she’d died, but I was afraid to ask, so I simply murmured and patted and waited him out. The woman at the desk saw what was going on and she appeared with a box of tissues. Pinky grabbed a handful and mopped at his eyes.

“Sorry. Oh man, I’m not long for this world.”

“What’d the doctor say?”

“I don’t know. He had an accent so thick, I couldn’t understand a word. The minute he started talking, it was like I went deaf because I was so afraid he’d have bad news.”

“Is she going to be okay?”

“Too early to tell or at least that’s what I think he said. He didn’t seem all that happy and when he threw in all that medical gobbledygook my ears went out on me. His eyes were so sad, I nearly busted up right then. I think he said he’d know better in the next twelve hours… or some amount of time. She’s been moved to ICU. I can stay if I want.”

Talking seemed to help, and by the time he’d pulled himself together, I felt like I was on the verge of collapse myself. Of course, Pinky opted to spend the night in the waiting room down the hall from ICU. I wanted to stay as well, but he urged me to go home. It didn’t take much in the way of persuasion. I told him I’d get in a few hours’ sleep and check with him in the morning to see how she was doing. Before I left, I volunteered to go down to the cafeteria and buy a couple of cups of coffee, for which he seemed grateful. I was the only one who seemed to be wandering the halls. I knew the location of the cafeteria from other occasions. The place would be closed, but I remembered a row of vending machines that would be humming with choices. When I reached the corridor, I took out two singles from my wallet and slid the bills into the slot, one by one. I punched the button for coffee, punched a second button to add cream, and picked up some sugar packets from a small cart nearby that stocked napkins and wooden stir sticks. I paid for a second coffee and carried the two Styrofoam cups with me back to the ER.