Stuart Kaminsky - Show Business is Murder

CU

{-on one of the judge’s oil paintings hanging over the bed. The work depicts denizens of Skid Row at dusk. Some wear Mardi Gras party masks. In the background, there’s a building with a lit neon sign that reads: “Justice.” The Sounds of the couple’s passionate lovemaking can be heard.}

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BEDROOM

{A little later and Monk exits the shower back into the bedroom. There’s a towel wrapped around his waist and he’s brushing his teeth. Kodama, in a slip, sits on the bed, using a blow dryer on her wet hair. The radio is on to the local NPR station.}

MONK:You meeting with the Asian Pacific Islander Caucus tonight aren’t you?

KODAMA (wearily):Yes, as you well know.

MONK:I ain’t player-hatin’ baby. I’m all for you running for the State Senate.

{He rases the dripping toothbrush above his head and pumps his fist.}

MONK (cont’d):I’ll door knock the ’hood till I’ve worn my shoes to my ankles for the one true Asian sister who’ll stand up for all our rights.

{Kodama makes a derisive sound as he re-enters the bathroom to finish his teeth-cleaning chore.}

MONK (cont’d, from the bathroom):You said you wanted to do something different than adjudicate.

KODAMA:That doesn’t mean-

{The RINGING phone cuts her off. She leans over and plucks the handset up. Monk re-enters the room.}

KODAMA (into handset):Hello?

{She listens then:}

KODAMA (cont’d):He’s right here, Nona.

MONK:What’s my mother want?

CUT TO:

EXT. MAGNOLIA AVENUE, SHERMAN OAKS-DAY

{Monk and Walsh Kagen, his arm bandaged but not in a sling, walk along the thoroughfare in the San Fernando Valley. Monk has his hands in his pockets and Walsh puffs on a thin Parodi cigar.}

KAGEN:Again, I’m sorry to have bothered your mother, but judges like cops have their addresses blocked by the phone company.

MONK:But they’re aren’t a whole lot of people with my last name.

KAGEN:Yeah, and Thelonious ain’t with us anymore.

MONK:And you’re willing to see if I can find out something about this attack on you and Ross the cops can’t?

KAGEN:According to the piece in this morning’s Journal, you were one of the last people seen talking to him.

MONK:So was the waiter bringing the drinks.

{Kagen snickers . }

KAGEN:But you’ve got story potential, Ivan.

{Monk halts before a bookstore. On its green awning are the words: Mysteries, Murder & Mayhem. Through the window, the proprietor, a rugged individual with a red/browninsh beard, talks animatedly with a customer.}

MONK:So you want to make this into a screenplay? You follow me around while I look for whoever torched you and Ross? I got news for you, Walsh. He might be all doped up now from his third-degree burns, but in a day or two Ross is going to be able to talk and that will be the end of the mystery. His attacker got up close and personal.

KAGEN:But until then who knows what can happen. What if all he has is a vague description?

MONK:You mean of some Middle Eastern perp?

KAGEN:Middle Eastern doesn’t necessarily mean an Arab or Muslim.

{Monk resumes walking and Kagen falls in step.}

MONK:Herv Renschel of the AJA gave you grief, too?

KAGEN:He hasn’t been called the Jewish Farakhan for kicks. I got a few threatening calls the day after I saw Ross. Nobody I.D.’d themselves, but is it a coincidence that the day of the night of the attacks, the AJA ran a full page ad in the Journal denouncing Ten-Shun and the purported project?

MONK:Just to be broad-minded, what if it’s one of the sleeper agents of the Al Qaeda that did the deed?

KAGEN:Okay.

MONK:Shit. I’ve already had somebody blow up my donut shop once.

KAGEN:Come on, Ivan, you got a rep as a man who goes at it until the job is done. This could be big.

MONK:Not to mention good press for you to get a deal.

KAGEN:I’ll make you a producer if we roll film. Hey, I got enough to cover your nut for a week or so. If we get bupkis, no hard feelings.

MONK:I hope I don’t regret this.

{Kagen beams, clapping Monk on the shoulder.}

EXT. SUPERIOR COURT BUILDINGS, DOWNTOWN

L.A., ESTABLISHING-DAY

INT. JILL KODAMA’S COURTROOM

{A criminal trial is in progress. The defense counsel, MS. WINTERS, is about to talk but Kodama, from the bench, cuts her off. The defendant, MR. REESE, is white, twentysomething, dressed in jeans and a tee-shirt. He has an American flag tattooed on his tricep and slouches in his chair, seemingly disinterested in the proceedings.}

KODAMA:… hold on, Ms. Winters. ( to the defendant ) Mr. Reese, sit up.

MR. REESE

{-glares at Kodama then reluctantly obeys.}

RESUME

{-Kodama talking.}

KODAMA (cont’d):Mr. Reese, you and your friends are charged with a serious matter. You may think that because the man you chased and, by your own admission, fought, turned out to be Guatemalan and an undocumented worker, and not of Arab descent somehow mitigates the circumstances, but they do not in my courtroom, sir. So I suggest you make some effort to pay attention to what’s going on, because I do take attitude into account should there be a sentencing. ( to the defense lawyer ) And counselor, do a better job of preparing your clients.

MR. REESE

{-looks at Ms. Winters, frowning.}

EXT. CONTINENTAL DONUTS, CRENSHAW

DISTRICT, ESTABLISHING-DAY

{It’s late afternoon at the donut shop-with a massive plaster donut anchored on the roof-on Vernon Avenue owned by Monk. The regulars are seen through the large picture windows sitting inside, talking, playing chess, and so forth.}

INT. CONTINENTAL DONUTS

{Monk selects a chocolate crueller from the case. ELROD, the six-foot-eight, muscled ex-con manager of the establishment looks on disdainfully.}

ELROD:You will have to do penance for that.

MONK:“Keep up appearances, there lies the test.”

{Monk bites into the donut with relish.}

ELROD:You can quote Churchill all you like.

MONK

{-is shocked that Elrod can place the quote.}

ELROD (cont’d):But that doesn’t change the fact that you are backsliding, weak to the allure of butter and sugar.

MONK:Night school must agree with you.

{Monk walks into the back of the shop and then a right along a short hall. He unlocks a heavy screen door protecting an inner door.}

INT. MONK’S INNER SANCTUM

{Monk steps into the Spartanly furnished room. There’s a cot, a small refrigerator, CD boom box, several old school file cabinets, a carburetor on top of one of the cabinets, a new model PC on a sturdy wooden table, and a comfortable swivel chair before it.}

{Monk turns on the boom box which is tuned to a jazz station. He sits down, finishes his snack, and fires up the computer.}

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. WILSHIRE OFFICE OF HERV

RENSCHEL-DAY

{Monk stands at the window, looking out on the city. Kagen sits on a couch before a coffee table, a fine china coffee set before him.}