Michael Hunter - Come Get Me

He felt out of place. The general feeling of the place made him feel like he wasn’t supposed to be present. The glares seemed to say he’d missed his chance to be part of Tommy’s life so what right did he have to be there now that he was dead. He’d abandoned Tommy to his fate. Now, when it was all over he decided to return. What good could he do now? The looks told him none.

In the face of these imagined accusations Jim began to think maybe they were right. Maybe he’d never left Tommy wouldn’t be dead right now. Maybe Rob wouldn’t have died either. It was crazy to think things like that and torture himself but when you were receiving the looks he was you couldn’t help but feel that way. If he’d stayed things might have been different. Then again he countered; they might just have stayed the same too. He could also just be imagining it all too, he told himself.

Tiring of the hostility directed at him by people he once thought of as friends he tried to remove himself from the group he’d unfortunately become stuck in. He slowly began to make his way towards the back of the group trying not to jostle anyone as he did. No need to have anybody any madder at him than they already were. He took a step a little too quickly and accidentally bumped in to someone. Looking over his shoulder to apologize he was startled to see a bright smile. He was dismayed to see who it belonged too.

The last person he’d wanted to see today was the only one that seemed to want to see him. Maria stood directly in his path to the rear of the assembly. Looking for another escape route he was greeted only with the disapproving looks of the town’s people. They were definitely not going to let him through. He was stuck. He resigned himself to standing where he was and enduring the remainder of the funeral the best he could. After a few minutes he noticed Maria was standing a little close for his comfort but he had no real choice in the matter so he tried to ignore her and hoped the funeral would be over soon.

After a few minutes passed he felt her move a little closer than she’d been before. Looking back to ask her for a little room he noticed what she was wearing. It wasn’t close to what everyone else was wearing. She stood out like a peacock in a group of hens. Her clothes were in bright blues and purples and looked as if she were about to attend a party as opposed to a funeral. If it hadn’t been for the circumstances he would have thought she was at a party. The only thing she was missing was a drink and some music. She had the clothes and the look already. He turned back without a word and tried focusing his attention on the service but was unable to with her so close. He could feel her studying him. He knew if he turned around she would be standing there with a sympathetic look on her face ready to console him in any way he asked. Most guys would kill for someone like that but not him. If he’d been attracted to her in any way it might have brought some ideas to mind but instead it made his stomach turn.

From what little of the service he was able to pay attention to, it appeared to be a good one. All the right things were said to console the attendees and make them think Tommy was in a better place and that everything was generally alright. Jim wasn’t much into religion. He never had been. Tommy, himself, probably would’ve been surprised to find him there. Jim had always refused church and anything else having to do with religion. But he had to be there for Tommy.

After the preacher finished speaking he was surprised to find that he did actually feel somewhat better than when he’d arrived. He also felt a little batter about saying goodbye too. He didn’t want to admit Tommy was gone but he knew he was and he could now accept it a little better than he had. He still wasn’t comfortable with the way it’d happened or the circumstances surrounding it but the service made saying goodbye much easier than he thought it would be.

As Tommy’s body was slowly lowered into the grave the group of people began breaking up. Most moved forward to pay their respects to the family members while others moved towards the road in preparation to leave. They tried not to look hurried but they couldn’t hide it very well. A lot of people didn’t like to be around death. It reminded them of their own mortality.

When the crowd parted sufficiently for him to pass, he quickly made his way towards Tommy’s parents. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Maria wasn’t following and was happy to see that Johnny Langill had come up and was occupying her attention. He was talked to her somewhat excitedly but it wasn’t his business so he turned back and continued to Tommy’s family. Better him than me he thought as he waited for someone in front of him to finish saying his piece to the family. When he was finally able to he told Tommy’s mother how sorry he was for what had happened and said he wished he had been there. She gave him a quick hug and said it probably wouldn’t have mattered. Tommy’s parents were big into religion. They probably thought since Tommy was gone it was just his time. God had called him home and all that other stuff. Jim didn’t believe it for a minute. He stood and talked for only a minute before saying his goodbyes and moving on to make room for the person behind him.

Walking slowly back to his car with thoughts of Tommy and Rob running through his head he barely heard Maria’s voice yelling at someone. Once he noticed it though he was curious as to who might deserve her wrath so he continued walking in the direction it was coming from and soon found that the unfortunate person was still Johnny Langill. Whatever they’d been talking about when Jim went to see Tommy’s family must’ve been pretty important. If Maria’s reaction was any judge it must not have been good news. She continued giving him a good lashing until she seemed to suddenly realize she was making a scene. Quickly smiling she grabbed Johnny’s shoulder, pulled him a little further away and started yelling at him again. Better him than me, Jim thought as he began started back in the direction of his car. He was almost there when he heard his name called behind him. He grudgingly turned to see who it was only to see Maria waving at him. Not wanting to be held up, especially by her, but being too polite to leave without seeing what she wanted he stayed where he was until she reached him. “Hello Maria. How are you doing?” he said calmly.

“I’m fine but it’s you that I should be asking that question to isn’t it?” she asked.

He waited for her to say something else but all she did was stand there. Jim didn’t know what she expected him to say. She hadn’t asked him anything so he just stood waiting for whatever was next.

“I know this has all been really rough for you,” she said when she realized he wasn’t going to say anything, “but I just wanted to see how you were.” After he told her he was fine she quickly said, “Well, that’s good. I was hoping you were.” She again stopped as if waiting for him to say something. This was getting on his nerves.

He knew she was only trying to be nice but he didn’t have time for her to play any of her little games. He just wanted to get out of here and back to his mothers’ house where he could relax but it seemed she was determined to keep that from happening. Wanting to end their conversation as quickly as possible he decided to cut to the chase.

“Is there something you need? I’m kind of in a hurry.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said grumpily.

Jim didn’t really care anymore if he hurt her feelings or not. She was acting like some jealous little girl that couldn’t take no for an answer. He’d hoped she gotten the hint about him not being interested but apparently she hadn’t. Maybe if he was a little meaner to her it would work. Couldn’t hurt to try, he thought grimly. He knew she was going to ask him out before she said it but hoped he’d be wrong. He didn’t fell like telling no again. She should’ve gotten the hint last time. Unfortunately she hadn’t.