Leslie Moore - Griffin's Shadow

“My father is a compassionate man,” Ashinji replied, studiously ignoring Sadaiyo.

“I have work to do,” Sadaiyo grumbled, clearly irritated at not being the center of attention. Both Kerala guards bowed their heads as he stomped off.

“Jelena should be here any moment,” Ashinji said. “She’s probably with my father and the king. She’ll come out with them to see us off.”

Ashinji observed Gendan discreetly watching his brother. The captain frowned as Sadaiyo berated a soldier for some minor infraction. His eyes flashed as they shifted to Ashinji. “May I speak freely, my lord?” he asked.

“Of course, Gendan. You needn’t ever be afraid to tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I know why ‘tis Lord Sadaiyo leads this expedition, rather than you, my lord, and we’ll all obey him, as is our duty, but…” He paused, lower lip caught between his teeth. Ashinji remained silent, waiting for the captain to collect his thoughts and continue. Gendan leaned forward, his voice barely above a whisper. “Just know, should you need us, the Kerala home guard’ll stand behind you, my lord.”

Aneko nodded in agreement. “We will always have your back, Lord Ashinji,” she said.

Ashinji tugged at his earlobe, unsure of how to respond to Gendan’s words. Kerala’s captain had made it clear where his loyalties lay, and the part of Ashinji that despised the kind of man his brother was, felt deeply moved. The other part that honored familial duty pricked him with guilt.

Ashinji’s father had placed him under his brother’s command, in a position of trust. He was honor-bound to obey Sadaiyo’s orders, whatever he might personally feel about his brother.

Shouts and cries of “ The king is here!” rose above the throng of soldiers and horses milling about the parade ground.

Gendan tapped Aneko’s arm. “We’d best be gettin’ back to our places.” He then looked pointedly at Ashinji. “Remember what I said, my lord.”

Ashinji watched as the two Kerala guards hurried away and were swallowed up by the crowd, then turned and headed toward the castle’s main entrance. Soldiers stepped aside to let him pass, many of them offering him words of greeting. Since becoming the son-in-law of Silverlock, Ashinji found himself in a position where he had never expected to be-he was famous.

And rich, in his own right. As a wedding gift, the king had given him the best thing he possibly could have-financial independence in the form of his own land. Just yesterday, Ashinji had received the first financial reports. The estate of Goura was small, but profitable, and would be even more so once a competent manager could be found to run it. It lay about two day’s ride northeast of Kerala Castle, just over the border in neighboring Manza, the demesne of Lord Dai, Sadaiyo’s father-in-law.

The family that had once held Goura had died out, leaving the estate vacant. Ordinarily, any vassal estate in which the family line became extinct would pass to the ruling lord to be disposed of as he or she saw fit. Most of the time, the land would be given to a younger child of the lord. No doubt, the king had compensated Lord Dai well for the land.

Misune probably would have received Goura, Ashinji thought. No doubt Sadaiyo has already pointed out to her how I’ve been given what should have rightfully been hers.

He reached the broad, shallow steps leading up to the castle’s main entrance just as his father, the king, Prince Raidan, and Jelena all emerged. He waited for them to reach the bottom stair, then bowed his head. “Your Majesty, your Highness.” He looked up and caught Jelena’s eye.

When he had left her behind in the warm haven of their bed before sunrise, he had made her promise she would eat something before she came down to see him off. He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

“Yes, I ate,” Jelena replied, laughing, but her voice caught and he saw tears glittering in her eyes. Despite her brave face, put on for his benefit, he sensed her fear, though she held it well in check. She came and stood beside him, linking her arm with his.

“Where is your brother, Son?” Sen inquired, eyes scanning the crowd.

“I’m not sure,” Ashinji replied. He looked over his shoulder. “He was…”

“Here he comes now,” Prince Raidan said.

Sadaiyo emerged from the throng, looking harried and followed by an equally harried aide. He sketched a bow before the king and the prince. His eyes flicked over Ashinji and away again, as if his brother wasn’t worth his attention.

“The army is ready to form up and move out, your Majesty,” Sadaiyo reported.

“Very good,” Keizo replied. “You may give the order any time.”

“Father, have you seen Misune?” Sadaiyo inquired, his voice rough with irritation. Sen shook his head.

“Haven’t seen her, Son. I’m sure she’ll be here before you leave, though.”

“She’d better be,” Sadaiyo grumbled. He turned to Ashinji. “Go and give the order.” He bowed again and dashed off into the crowd, shouting for his aide to bring his horse. The king, Prince Raidan, and Sen had all moved off a little way and stood in a close huddle, their expressions intense. Ashinji slipped an arm around Jelena’s waist and pulled her close so he could speak to her without having to raise his voice. He put a hand under her chin and tilted her face up so he could gaze into the warm hazel of her eyes.

He opened his mouth but no words would come, as if his tongue had lost all ability to form meaningful sounds .

I love her so much, it hurts, he thought . I can’t burden her now, not when we are about to part, with the vision I’ve been given of my future.

She gazed expectantly at him, love flowing out of her body like the blue fire she harbored within herself. It felt so sweet, and yet the pain of knowing he might not live to see her again made it almost unbearable.

His throat ached with unshed tears.

“Jelena,” he began, then paused to catch his breath.

“What is it, my love?” she whispered.

He rested his forehead against hers. “There’s too much to say and not enough time for all of the words,” he said. “Let me try and mindspeak to you.” She nodded and closed her eyes.

He rarely used his ability to mindspeak. It always made his head hurt when he tried, but any amount of pain seemed worth the effort to convey his innermost feelings.

He entered her mind as gently as he could, amazed anew at the brilliance of it. The blue fire burned at the core of her being, mysterious and powerful, but he shied away from it, wary of its strength. He opened himself to her and let the love that filled his soul pour from him like blood from an open wound. He gave every drop he could, and when he could give no more, he withdrew.

Jelena cried out as he staggered, momentarily weak as a kitten. She clutched at him, trying to hold him up while he willed his knees to lock and take his weight. The weakness passed, but he knew the ache in his head would linger for hours.

“Ashinji!” Jelena whispered fiercely. “Ashi, look at me!” He met her eyes and winced at the intensity of her gaze. “Ashi, you promise me that you’ll come back to me- to us!” She grabbed his hand and pressed it against her belly. “This is your child in here, a child that needs its father! Promise you’ll come back!”

He closed his eyes.

“ Promise!” she cried.

He kissed her, and though he tried, he could not keep the desperation out of it. Jelena sobbed once, then with a mighty effort, stifled her tears. When at last she lifted her head, she had fully regained her composure.

“I swear, my love, that I will do everything in my power to return to you and our child,” Ashinji murmured. Jelena nodded, and as she reached up to touch his face, he grabbed her fingers and pressed them to his lips.