Array Ashley: Tale of the Murda Mamas

“Hello.”

“Hey, baby,” Ace said on the other line in a low calm voice. He was at a payphone in Wyoming right outside of the motel where he was being held until the upcoming trial. He looked around to make sure that the federal agents didn’t see him at the pay phone. They weren’t supposed to allow him to use the phone at all, but he snuck out while they were asleep to talk to his baby mother. “I miss you,” he added.

“I miss you too, baby,” Sheila said as she walked out of the room and gave Mecca a signal to be quiet by putting her finger on her full lips. “Where are you at, Ace? I have been worried about you. I haven’t heard from you in months,” she said as she stood in the kitchen with one hand on her hip.

“I can’t tell you that right now, Sheila. But anyway, how my shorty doing?” he asked in concern as he kept looking over his shoulder to check and see if the coast was clear.

“He’s fine. He’s in there sleep right now. He misses his daddy though. I have been worried sick about you. I can’t get a phone call or anything, huh?” Sheila asked with obvious irritation in her voice.

“I’m in some heavy shit right now, but everything is going to be okay in a couple of weeks,” Ace said, thinking about how he would start a new life in Wyoming under the witness protection program. He planned on taking his ‘hood rat baby mama and settling down so they could raise their son together. He thought that neither Carter nor Zyir knew about his son, but the streets were talking, and it didn’t take much for Zyir to find out Ace’s little secret. When Zyir found out about the baby, he quickly put Mecca on Sheila.

“I hope so, because we need you here with us,” Sheila responded as she smiled at the sound of Ace’s voice. She almost forgot that “Chris” was in the back waiting for her to have sex, and she peeked back toward the back of the apartment and saw him opening the refrigerator. She slightly tensed up. She didn’t even hear him creeping up behind her while on the phone. She placed her finger on her lips once again to remind him to remain silent. She looked away from him and continued to listen closely to Ace.

“Have you been getting that money I’ve been sending you?” Ace asked.

“Yeah, I-” Before Sheila could finish her sentence, a loud blast erupted and her brains were all over the kitchen wall. Mecca stood behind her with a smoking gun as he watched her body collapse and the bloody phone fall to the floor.

“Sheila!” Ace yelled as he jumped at the sound of the blast through the phone. “Sheila! What was that?” he yelled into the phone as his eyes began to shift nervously while he gripping the phone tightly.

Mecca let off another round in Sheila’s twitching body for good measure, and reached down to pick up the phone. He had been waiting for Ace to call for weeks, and his wish had just been granted. “What’s going on, playboy?” Mecca said with enthusiasm as if he was greeting a friend.

“Fuck!” Ace scoffed as he took the phone from his ear and put it on his chest. He already recognized Mecca’s voice and his heart rate sped up. He hoped to God that the second gunshot wasn’t for his son. He slowly put the phone back to his ear.

“Listen real close, okay? Your bitch is already gone to meet her Maker. Now it’s your choice if you want me to send lil’ Ace right behind her,” Mecca said as he went to the back, set his gun on the dresser and picked up Ace’s baby boy. “Hey, lil’ man!” Mecca said in a playful voice while still holding the cordless phone to his own ear so Ace could hear him clearly.

Ace sat and listened to the giggles of his own son, and regretted not taking his own flesh and blood out of harm’s way. “Don’t touch my mu’fuckin son!” he seethed in between his clenched teeth.

“Whoa, whoa! Hold up! You are not in the position to be barking orders, homeboy. You listen to me, and I’ma tell you what you are going to do,” Mecca commanded as he held lil’ Ace in his arm and rocked him gently. “You aren’t going to testify against my man. You are going to get up there on that stand and catch amnesia, feel me?”

“Yeah, I hear you. Just leave my kid out of it, man,” Ace said in a pleading tone.

“Should of thought about that before you got to singing like a mu’fuckin’ bitch. Snitch-ass nigga!” Mecca yelled, getting upset just at the thought of Ace being a rat.

Ace remained silent, knowing that he couldn’t possibly snitch on Carter and The Cartel anymore. Too much was on the line. He would rather face federal charges himself than leave his newborn son at the mercy of a nigga like Mecca.

“If Carter gets convicted, say goodbye to your son. It’s all on you,” Mecca threatened just before he hung up the phone and dropped it. He held Ace’s baby up and blew on his stomach playfully, making lil’ Ace laugh and squirm. Mecca smiled and hoped that he wouldn’t have to send the baby to the same place he had just sent Sheila. He didn’t want to be a killer, but snake niggas like Ace left him no choice. He stared down at the baby in his arms and whispered, “It’s all up to your daddy, lil’ man. It’s all up to your snitching ass pops.”

I’m trapped… stuck in between my past and my future, and I don’t know which one to choose or which way to go. I remember everything that happened to me. It’s so vivid in my mind. I can still feel my heart beat rapidly for the love I have for Carter, and at the same time I can feel my temperature rise at the thought of his brother, Mecca. I remember Mecca fucking me up. I can still feel the whip of his chain as it ripped through the flesh on my legs. I can still hear the menacing sound of his voice. How in the fuck he caught me slipping, I don’t know, but I can’t let him beat me. He can’t win, but there’s nothing I can do when I can’t even open my eyes. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to wake up. I can’t speak, I can’t move, I can’t do anything, and everything around me is black. I know how I got here, but how the fuck do I get out? For the first time in a long time I’m afraid.

I wish I had my girls with me, because with them, nothing is impossible. With them, we run through niggas like Mecca, collect our paper, and keep it pushing to the next job. But our difference of opinion on The Cartel broke us apart. I did what I thought I would never do. I chose a nigga, Carter, over The Murder Mamas.

I can see the light that so many people talk about before dying, but in my case, it is more like a fire that is waiting to consume me. I’m standing between the gates of hell and my childhood, but they are equal to one another. Either way I go, the pain will be too much for me to handle. My past is something that I don’t want to remember. I forgot about it for a reason. I gave myself amnesia so that I wouldn’t have to relive it, and I left it behind a long time ago. I don’t want to have to repeat it, but I don’t want to die either. I have a choice: I can walk into the light right now and let it all end here. I can submit myself to God’s mercy and face my judgment in that light, or I can face my past and figure out how my childhood affected me and made me into the woman, the killer, the bitch that I am today. Those are my options; face death or face life. That’s a hell of a choice, but I guess it’s my destiny. I’m not ready to meet my Maker. I still have too much to do, and there are so many things left in my life unsettled. There are so many debts that I still have to collect on, and so many that I still owe.

So, I’m going to introduce you to my past. I’m going to let you meet the innocent little girl I used to be before the corruption, the money, the bodies, and the bullshit. Don’t judge me, just rock with my story as I tell it all… the ‘hood, the bad and the ugly. This is me, Miamor, the life of a Murder Mama.