Greg Lilly: Fingering The Family Jewels

"No, let me. You sit there and relax. Enjoy your wine." I gathered up the plates. Valerie took the empty casserole dish and bread plate.

"This is good wine," Ruby giggled. "All this talk about privates has got me flustered." She fanned herself with her napkin. "Oh, Lordy me."

Val rinsed the dishes and handed them to me to place in the dishwasher. "She's so lively since you got in."

"More like since we uncorked the wine," I laughed.

"Nonetheless, it was thoughtful of you to come in. She needs us now." Val shook her head. "Aunt Walterene was upset withthe Board. A lot of changes are happening."

"Did they do something to cause the stroke?"

"No, no, but," Valerie hesitated, "there is some stress among the family."

"How long was Walterene in the hospital?"

Over the spray of the running water, Valerie whispered, "She died on the way there. The paramedics wouldn't let Ruby ride with her; she blames herself for not being with Walterene during her last moments."

"I know what she means. I had friends beg to come home to die; they wanted to be out of the hospital, the constant noise, the smell of death and sickness; surrounded by strangers is no way to die." Losing friends to AIDS had tied me to the same mindset as people in their sixties, seventies, and eighties: facing mortality, planning wakes and funerals, strategizing how to die with dignity among friends and loved ones. "How's the rest of the family taking it?"

"Great-Aunt Ernestine says she should have gone first. 'No mother should have to bury her daughter,' she told me."' Valerie wiped tears from her eyes. "Of course, Mother, Vernon, and the other cousins are heartbroken, too. It has called a temporary truce to their bickering over the business."

Ruby yelled in from the dining room, "What are you two doing in there? Just set that in the sink, and I'll take care of it in the morning."

Valerie went to the doorway. "Aunt Ruby, we're almost finished. Can I get you some dessert?"

"No, dear. I'm big as a house. I can barely pull my girdle on each Sunday."

I closed up the dishwasher. "We can talk about this after Ruby goes to bed."

We said our goodnights to Ruby. She kissed us both and hobbled off to bed. Once she was gone, Valerie and I settled down on the couch in the warm paneled den with more wine and cigarettes. "So, tell me what is going on with the Board."

"Derek, it's such a mess. Uncle Vernon is grooming his boys to take over so he can work on his Senate campaign."

" Vernon is running for Senate?" I couldn't believe it. Vernon was Mother's brother and the oldest of the grandchildren of Ernest, who started the business. Like past North Carolina politicians, he wallowed in family money, but portrayed himself as a self-made, hardworking, blue collar worker who had done well. Conservatism to him meant family, no welfare, plenty of tobacco subsidies for the farmers, catering to big business under the table, and everyone should be white, Protestant, heterosexual, and preferably wealthy men.

"Sorry to say it, but yes, he's running. City council and mayor never satisfied him." She took a drag on my cigarette.

"Hopefully, the voters will see through his facade."

The look she gave me confirmed that Jesse Helms Republicans still ruled the state. "If he doesn't make it this year, next election will be a shoe-in."

"So, what's happening with the Board?"

" Vernon is trying to squeeze out any family who doesn't agree with the boys taking over."

Retrieving the cigarette from her, I inhaled the sweet smoke as I considered Uncle Vernon's sons Mike and Mark, and son-in-law Gerald. Mark's image drowned out other thoughts, his smile, his laugh, the warmth of his touch. I wanted to see him again, even though our secret relationship led to my mother sending me away. No one knew Mark had been the reason I'd told my parents I'm gay, but I was glad I did. Still, the hurt of losing him, of losing my family, burned deep. No blame pointed to him or to my announcement to my parents; I placed the fault on Gladys, her closed-mindedness, her concern for the opinions of Charlotte society, her need for social status.

"Edwina and Roscoe," Val continued, "have always kept their hands in the business. Mom and Dad let Vernon do things his way. Ruby doesn't really care, but keeps her shares. Walterene sided with Edwina and Roscoe." Val took another sip of wine.

"Sided?" I asked. "On what?"

"The direction of the company. The boys want to diversify by building the residential business that Tim works in.Mark pushes more uptown condo projects. Did you know he and Kathleen live in Fourth Ward now?"

"No." A sharp pain shot through my gut. "He's still the golden boy, isn't he?"

" Vernon doesn't really favor him over Mike, treats them both like Jesus Christ incarnate." She winked at me.

Does she know about me and Mark? No, no one knows, I reassured myself and ground out the cigarette. Best to keep it that way. "Wouldn't Walterene, Edwina, Roscoe, and Ruby have enough shares to take over the Board?"

"No, Vernon made sure he had Mom's and the remaining shareholders' backing before he started any changes. In fact, things got so out of hand at the last meeting, Vernon called the police to remove Roscoe from the building."

"Damn." I couldn't believe they had gotten so hostile. "Bet that pissed off Grandma."

"She hit the roof, mostly because it made the papers. She said Papa Ernest would have taken every one of them to the woodshed.

"It doesn't sound so bad to me," Val continued. "Mike and Gerald are focusing on commercial development; Mark wants to develop more upscale condominiums in Uptown and heads up subdivision development on the outskirts of town."

"So why the disagreement? Roscoe and the rest should be glad the company's branching out." I lit up another cigarette and poured more wine.

"Number one, it's riskier than commercial. Two, they aren't crazy about Vernon 's sons taking over; we're all still viewed as children. Plus, it leaves little likelihood that their kids will get a piece of the company."

"Who'd want it? Constant fighting, family and business bound together, money and past hurts; it's a recipe for dysfunction." I noticed Val yawning. "I'm still on west coast time; I bet you're tired."

"Yeah, with the funeral tomorrow," she looked at her watch, "correction, today, I need to get to bed."

We stood up and hugged. This was what family should feel like:

open, safe, a place where things can be discussed without fear of backstabbing or harsh judgments. Of course, I only felt that with Walterene, Ruby, and Valerie. "Are you okay driving home?"

"Yeah, I'm just a couple of blocks up Park Road. Now you get some sleep. There will be a lot of family tomorrow. Mom will probably shit when she sees you." She laughed, then quieted herself. "Ruby's sleeping," she whispered.

"I'm not the one making all the noise,"

Val grinned. "Get your beauty rest. It's going to be interesting."

"MOM WANTED TO come over to help get Ruby ready for church," Valerie had arrived early, "but I talked her out of it. I told her too many people fussing around Ruby would upset her."

I poured coffee for Valerie. "Good, I would rather see her in a crowd where I can avoid her as much as possible."

"Less stressful for the both of you," she agreed. "You know…"

"No, I will not try to mend fences with Gladys the Bitch."

"Derek! Watch your mouth." Anger flashed in her eyes. "Mom has tried to do what she thought was best for us. Sometimes, her plans didn't work out."

"What's best for us?" I fumed. "What's best? She threw me out of the house."

"No, she sent you to college."

"She wanted me away from Charlotte."