David Wiltse - Bone Deep

She came from among the trees, following the narrow path over the rocks, across the stream, around the fallen timber, moving lightly as a deer.

Slender as a wand, she moved as gracefully as any of the creatures of the woods. Her pace increased as always as she threw herself into a sprint up the last, steepest part of the hill. He could hear her heavy breathing now and he turned to watch her, her face concentrating with the effort of the sprint, the red of her headband bobbing and flashing from behind the intervening branches like a cardinal on the wing.

Tee rose to greet her and she flung herself into his arms, panting, a smile bursting forth in the final moment before she pressed her head against his chest. He held her for a minute as she regained her breath, feeling her torso rise and fall, feeling her ribs slide up and down beneath his hands. He put his face to the top of her head and smelled her hair, a scent that was her own, fresh and faintly reminiscent of grapes. He thrilled to have her in his arms, so vital, young and lean, delicate yet strong when she clung to him. Everything about her was firm to the touch, smooth with a woman's softness, but solid, toned.

He lifted her easily-her diminutive size excited him, made him want to curl himself completely around her, to encircle and subsume her-and she clasped her legs around his waist. Her arms on his neck were damp with sweat.

"Hello, Chiefie," she said, her southern tones faintly mocking as always.

"Hello, Mrs. Leigh," he said. Whenever he spoke to her his voice was softer than usual, and he felt a shyness under her gaze that was unaccustomed. He knew that with her, for their brief moments together, he was a different person than the one the rest of the world knew. He was a different person than he normally saw within himself. When he looked into her pale blue eyes he felt he must surely tumble in, she made him so weak and wanting.

She squeezed him tightly with her legs, tightening her vise until his discomfort showed on his face, her eyes twinkling at the effect. He would not tell her to stop, he never told her she did too much of anything. It would be a contest, she would squeeze as long and hard as she could until he cried out in pain or she tired of the struggle. Tee tried to kiss her but she leaned her torso farther away from him, seeking greater leverage for her powerful thighs, clinging with her hands to his upper arms. Her eyes danced with amusement as she watched him trying not to give in to her will.

He gasped, putting his hands on her knees and prying them away from him.

She resisted him for a moment, then relinquished her grip, disappointed in him. She hung from his neck for a moment, making him bend, taxing his back, then dropped lightly onto her feet.

Tee felt that he had let her down in some way, that he should have stood there until tears came to his eyes. He wanted to lift her onto his waist again, to give himself another chance to do what she wanted, but she had apparently already forgotten the incident and was standing on the edge of the blanket, looking out at the view.

"Isn't it spectacular?"

"Yes," said Tee, allowing himself to look at it for the first time.

"You don't see it though," she chided him. "Not really."

Tee looked at the water, still shining silver in the early sun, the verdant sweep of trees, stretching for miles, obliterating the houses and roads that lay within them, the pale blue of the sky flecked with high, tracery clouds like fingers of lace. A hawk circled slowly, rising on the early thermals, wings spread as if fixed in space. He thought he saw it, he wanted to see what she saw.

"It's beautiful," he said. He stooped over and put his arms around her from behind. His hands could nearly encircle her waist. "You're beautiful."

She shook her head, indicating that he was wrong, that he did not, could not understand what she saw and what she knew.

As always when with her, he began to dislike her. It was when she was away that he needed her so badly, when he longed to find the softness, the romance, the tenderness that was so seldom there in her presence.

For a moment he asked himself why lie was with her, why he put himself through it all with a woman he didn't really like; then the touch of her reminded him.

He pulled her gently into him, pressing his groin against her, burying his face in her hair once more. She made him want to scream, she made him weak. Sometimes when he kissed her he was so overcome that he trembled standing up and felt as if his knees would not support him. He cherished her for making him feel that way. He cherished her for making him desire.

"I would like to soar like that hawk," she said, spreading her arms.

He kissed her neck, grasped one of her arms and ran his hand from her wrist to her armpit, relishing the moist texture of her skin, the little muscle, strong and firm under the taut skin. She seemed not to notice what Tee was doing, nor to respond to him so much as the surroundings.

"Sometimes when I'm up here I want to hurl myself off the edge," she said.

"Don't. I would hate it without you."

"I feel as if I could float just like that bird, all the way down to the water."

Heights made Tee giddy. Sometimes he felt as if he might be forced against his will to leap, pulled by some unknown force to the edge and beyond. He tried to stay well back from balconies, railings, cliff edges.

He sat on the blanket and pulled her down beside him, relieved that she came without resistance. Some days he would have to coax, or listen to her for a long time while she told him the convoluted stories of her life, her dealings with her mother, her husband, a coterie of tortured girlfriends. Some days she would talk while Tee made love to her, giving him little encouragement, indeed little recognition until she was ready. Tee would feel belittled, insulted, humiliated, but it did not matter, he could not stop himself, he was crazy for her, crazy with his need for her.

"I swear, I must be nu-uts," she said, elongating her vowels into two or three. "My husband is on the brink of bankruptcy. Right on the brink, just every bit as close to it as I am to the edge of this cliff…"

Tee tugged at her clothes. She wore a spandex jogger's outfit that fit her like a surgeon's glove. He had to peel it off, taking arduous care.

She wore it every time and never helped him remove it, but lay there talking, ignoring him, making him do all the work.

"He doesn't speak to me at all anymore, except to snap or yell at the kids. I think he's losing his mind. I know I'm losing mine."

Feeling coarse and humbling, he made love to her, kissing her mouth when she let him, caressing her with his hands, his lips, pressing himself against her. She talked through much of it, revealing details of her life in a long, rambling monologue. Tee felt as insistent as a beast, determined to have his own way, but he proceeded slowly, gently if clumsily, trying to bring her with him. He would stop in an instant if she asked him to, but she never did, even though she seemed to ignore him. When she reached down for him at last and took him in hand, her grip was so stron it almost brought him off at once, but her attitude did not change. It seemed throughout that her mind and her body were engaged in two separate events.

When he could restrain himself no longer and finally entered her, she was so tight he found it hard to believe that she had given birth to two children. She gasped, then fell silent at last. He tried to move slowly but as usual it was no use. Her indifference, her begrudging consent, and his final acceptance excited him too much and he could never wait long enough. As he entered his final spasm, she gripped him again with her thighs, impeding his thrusts. He did not know if he was too large for her, if his weight frightened her and she was trying to restrain him to protect herself, or if she squeezed him with passion, but it was too late to stop himself now. He struggled against the power of her legs, trying to penetrate fully and rapidly but forced into a defeated compromise, moaning to a climax, feeling premature and inconsiderate and unfulfilled.