Peter Lovesey: Upon A Dark Night

‘My own bloody cat,’ said Diamond. ‘He’s had his last saucer of cream from me.’

‘What do you mean – “your own cat”? That wasn’t Raffles.’

‘Of course it was Raffles. Don’t take his side. He was caught in the bloody act.’

‘Red-handed?’ murmured Stephanie, adding quickly, ‘A fine detective you are, if you can’t tell the difference between your own cat and the moggy next door. That was Samson. I saw the white bit under his chin.’

‘That was never Samson.’

‘Why did he bolt straight over the fence into their garden?’

‘It was the shortest escape route, that’s why.’

She chose not to pursue the matter. ‘How does it feel?’

‘I’ll survive, I suppose. Thanks for the nursing.’

She made some tea. When they walked into the sitting room, Raffles was curled on Diamond’s armchair, asleep. It was obvious he had not stirred in the past hour.

‘Incidentally…’ Stephanie said.

‘Mm?’

‘When did you last have a jab for tetanus?’

Ada Shaftsbury’s breathing was impaired by her bloated physique, particularly when she moved. With each step she emitted a breath or a sigh. Climbing the stairs sounded like competitive weight-lifting because the breaths became grunts and the sighs groans. The entire hostel must have heard her come in some time after eleven.

She stood for a short while by the bedroom door, recovering. Finally she managed to say, ‘You’re not asleep, are you, petal?’

‘No.’ But ‘petal’ had hoped to be. She was exhausted.

‘I brought back a few nibbles from the pub, a pork pie, if you want, and some crisps.’

‘No thanks.’

‘Aren’t you going to keep me company?’

‘I thought you didn’t eat snacks.’

‘This is supper,’ said Ada.

‘Wasn’t supper what you went to the chippie for?’

‘That was dinner.’

‘Actually, Ada, I don’t like to eat as late as this.’

‘How do you know?’

‘What?’

‘If you lost your memory, how do you know when you like to eat and when you don’t?’

Rose couldn’t answer that. ‘What I mean is that I’m ready for sleep.’

‘You don’t mind if I have yours, then?’

‘Don’t mind at all. Goodnight.’

There was an encouraging interval of near silence, disturbed only by the smack of lips.

Then:

‘I say…?’

‘Mm?’

‘Did the photographer come – the photographer from the police?’

‘Yes.’

Another interval.

‘You want to be careful, getting in their records. You don’t know what they do with the photos they take.’

‘Ada, I’m really pooped, if you don’t mind.’

‘I could tell you things about the police.’

‘Tomorrow.’

Ada wanted her say, regardless. ‘We all have rights, you know, under the Trade Descriptions Act.’

‘Data Protection.’

‘What?’

‘I think you mean the Data Protection Act.’

‘Your memory can’t be all that bad if you can think of something like Data whatsit at this time of night. Are you getting it back?’

‘No.’ Some hope, she thought, when I can’t even get my sleep in.

Ada would not be silenced. ‘I think it’s diabolical, the way they pissed you about. That hospital was only too pleased to see the back of you and the social so-called services shove you in here and all the police do is take some photos. It’s a bloody disgrace.’

Rose sighed and turned on her back, drawing the hair from across her eyes. She was fully awake now. ‘What else could they have done?’

‘Never mind them. I know what I’d do. I’d go back to that hospital where you were dumped and ask some questions. That’s what I’d do. I’d insist on it.’

‘What is there to find out?’

‘I haven’t the faintest, my petal, but it’s all you’ve got to work on. Did they show you the place where you were found?’

‘The car park? No.’

‘Who was it who found you, then?’

‘A woman. The wife of a patient. They didn’t tell me her name.’

‘You’ve got a right to know who she is. You’re entitled to speak to her.’

‘What can she tell me? She didn’t cause my injuries. She just happened to find me.’

‘How do you know that? I might as well say it: you’re too trusting,’ said Ada. ‘They pat you on the head and tell you to go away and that’s what you do. The well behaved little woman, God help us, up shit creek without a paddle. Do they care? All they’re concerned about is the reputation of their sodding hospital. They don’t want it known that someone was knocked down in their car park. You could sue.’

‘It wasn’t like that.’

‘So they say.’ Ada was practically beating a drum by now. ‘Listen, petal, this may get up your nose, but you’ ve got some rights here. If you want to exercise them, I’m willing to throw my weight in on your side, and that’s a pretty large offer. I’ll come with you to the hospital and sort those people out.’

‘That’s very kind, but I really don’t think-’

‘We’ll talk about this in the morning, right?’ said Ada, following it with a large yawn. ‘I can’t stay awake all night listening to you rabbiting on. I should have been in bed twenty minutes ago.’

Stephanie had fixed this. She had promised it would be done quickly and without fuss by one of her vast network of friends, a nurse who worked in Accident and Emergency at the Royal United Hospital. It was no use Peter Diamond protesting that he was neither an accident nor an emergency.

When he met the friend, he had grave doubts whether he wanted her hand on the syringe. She was mountainous.

‘How is my old chum Steph?’ she asked.

‘Blooming,’ he said. ‘Shouldn’t you be asking about me?’

‘You look well enough.’ She examined the cat-bite. ‘Was it your own little kitty who did this to you?’

He said in an offended tone, as if the possibility had never crossed his mind, ‘Raffles wouldn’t hurt me. Steph reckons it was next door’s, but I have my doubts. This was a big brute. You can see that from the size of the bite.’

‘Probably on the run from a safari park,’ said the nurse with a look she probably gave men who made a fuss. ‘Slip off your jacket and roll up your sleeve.’

‘You think an injection is necessary?’

‘Isn’t that the point?’ She gave a rich, unsympathetic laugh. ‘Your tetanus jab is long overdue, according to your file. I phoned your GP.’

‘Is that what he said?’

‘First, I must take your blood pressure. That must have altered since – when was it? – 1986. You seem to be rather good at bucking the system, Mr Diamond.’

‘Or saving the system from bankruptcy,’ he was perky enough to respond. ‘You need healthy people like me.’

‘We’ll see how healthy,’ she said, tying the cuff around his arm and inflating it vigorously. ‘Who took it last time?’

‘My doctor, I think.’

‘A man?’

‘Yes. Is that important?’

‘We can expect it to go up a few points. It’s always that bit higher when someone of the opposite sex takes the reading.’

He stopped himself from saying anything. He was in no position to disillusion her.

Presently she told him, ‘Too high, even allowing for the attraction factor. You’d best have a chat with one of the doctors. I’ll slot you in. No problem.’

He was going to have to assert himself. ‘I didn’t come about my blood pressure. I came for a jab.’

She picked up the syringe. ‘Which I’m about to give you.’

‘I’m beginning to wonder if there’s been some collusion between you and Steph.’

‘I don’t see how,’ said the nurse. ‘You don’t think she arranged for the cat to bite you?’