Charlaine Harris - A Fool and His Honey

Regina seemed pleased.

“Oh, Aunt Roe, this is so nice,” she said, throwing a suitcase on the bed. “Before we got married we lived in an apartment that was a lot smaller than this.”

I hated to think about that.

“Well, I hope you enjoy it,” I said at random. “You and Hayden, that is. I’ll leave you to unpack. Oh, do you have something for the baby to sleep in?” I had no idea what to do if she didn’t. But Regina assured me she had a portable travel crib. That seemed a luxurious item for a poor mother to have, and I wondered a little.

I heard the crunch of gravel as I stood in the doorway. Martin emerged from his car and stood staring at Regina’s car for a minute.

“Martin,” I called, “come up here.” Evidently he hadn’t returned to his office before he came home.

He passed under the walkway to stare up at me. “What are you doing in the apartment?” he asked. No one had been in the apartment since Angel and Shelby had bought a house in town.

“Oh,” I said, feeling a pleasurable anticipation, perhaps tinged with a touch of malice, “you won’t guess who’s come to visit, honey!”

Looking distinctly apprehensive, Martin came up the stairs. I stood aside so he could enter the apartment.

“Uncle Martin!” cried Regina. She faced the door with a big smile stretching her generous lips, the baby pressed to her chest like a bag of groceries.

Martin’s face was priceless.

“Did we know she was coming?” he asked me in a low voice as we walked over to the house.

I shook my head.

“Did we know she’d had a baby?”

I shook my head again.

“Then Barby must not know it either,” he said. “She wouldn’t keep something like that to herself.”

I didn’t think so either. I further thought that Barby would just hate the idea of being a grandmother. I was willing to bet Regina knew that, too.

“So, we don’t know why she’s here?” Martin, used to commanding information and having everything lined up and organized, was definitely on the frustrated side.

“It’d be easier to tell you what I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t know why she came or how long she’s staying. I don’t know where Craig is. I have no idea what your sister knows.” And though I didn’t say it out loud to spare Martin’s feelings, I was far from certain of the provenance of the baby.

Martin stood in the kitchen drinking a glass of tea while he mulled this over. “I’ve got to go back up there and speak to her again,” he said abruptly. “Get some of this settled. We still going to the Lowrys‘?”

“I don’t think we can put it off. Regina seems all right about us going, and you know how touchy Catledge is.”

“Okay. I’ll just be a minute or two with her, then I’ll come in and shower.” Thunking his glass down on the counter, he marched out again into the gathering dark and dripping rain. His white hair gleamed through the darkness.

I went upstairs to finish getting ready. As I put on makeup and jewelry and pinned my hair out of my face with a pretty black-and-gold comb, I wondered if Martin would be able to winkle any more out of his niece than I had. Martin is far more likely to ask direct questions than I am.

But he didn’t look satisfied when he trudged up the stairs twenty minutes later. He looked tired and worried.

After giving me a quick kiss on the neck, Martin unzipped his pants and sat on the bed to untie his shoes.

“Hey, sailor, how about it?” I asked, in my best Mae West voice.

Martin flashed me a smile. He glanced at the bedside clock. “Afraid we don’t have time,” he said regretfully. “I have to shower. Two people in the meeting smoked.”

Martin hates the smell of smoke clinging to his hair and clothes.

“You could have asked them not to,” I said mildly. Martin’s asking might as well be called telling: He was the boss.

“They’re going to retire at the new year,” he said. “If that weren’t the case, I would have kicked their asses out in the hall. As of January one, I’m going to make the entire plant a smoke-free zone.”

We talked about how many smokers Pan-Am Agra employed, and mulled over other mundane topics as Martin stripped, showered, and re-dressed. Martin is almost thirteen years my senior, but he looks absolutely great without his clothes on, and he’s just as attractive dressed. He has snowy white hair, but his eyebrows are still black, and his eyes are a light, light brown. He lifts weights and his racquetball games are endurance tests for the younger members of the management staff.

“Didn’t you say you had your physical today?” Looking at Martin’s physique had prompted another train of thought.

“Yes,” he said rather shortly. My wifely antennae perked, tuned in to what he wasn’t saying.

“Wasn’t everything all right?” Martin had never had a bad physical. In fact, he was usually boastful after his annual checkup, required by the plant.

“Zelman wants me to have a full battery of tests. Just because I’m getting older,” Martin added hastily, before I could even fully develop my concerned expression.

“Did he find anything?” I asked, in the voice that said he better let me know everything.

“He said I was stressed. He just wants to run some more tests.” Martin was standing in front of his closet picking out his clothes for the evening. I understood from his tone that the subject was closed.

“We’ll schedule those right away,” I suggested.

“Sure, I’ll get Mrs. Sands to do it tomorrow. Did I tell you she’s going to be a grandmother?”

“Is she happy about it?”

“Oh, yes, she’s already named the baby and picked out a preschool. Not that her daughter knows about that…”

All this chatter was a delaying tactic of Martin’s, while he thought over whatever Regina had told him.

“What’d Regina say?” I asked, as he used his electric razor.

“Not much,” he admitted, sticking out his chin to shave under it. I was sitting on the toilet lid. Not for the first time, it occurred to me how much I enjoyed being married, just sitting in the bathroom with a man while he shaved, and all the little intimacies that entailed. “I don’t think she’s going to tell us why she’s here until she’s ready.” He stretched his upper lip down over his front teeth. “I hope nothing’s happened to Craig.”

“If he’d been in a wreck or been ill, surely she’d let us know,” I said hesitantly, aware I wasn’t on Martin’s wavelength.

“I was thinking more of Craig being in trouble,” he said, pulling on a fresh shirt and tucking it in. “Do you have your lipstick on yet?”

“No,” I said, surprised.

Martin pulled me to him and gave me one of those wonderful kisses that makes my pulse jump around like a drop of oil in a hot skillet. I responded enthusiastically, and let my fingers do the walking.

“Whoa! Whoa!” he said, gasping, holding me away. “Oh, later! After we come home!”

“That better be a promise,” I said lightly, giving him a final pat and sitting at my vanity to twist the tube to apply Mad Rubies.

“Take it as sworn to,” he told me.

We should have taken twenty extra minutes and been late to the Lowrys‘.

Catledge Lowry met us at the door, his wide happy smile fixed in place.

Catledge was a politician through and through. He had a good-sounding set of goals, he had a good campaign manager, and he’d done some worthwhile things. I didn’t trust him as far as I could throw him, and given Catledge’s six-foot-four frame, that wasn’t an inch. I just enjoyed Catledge for what he was.

“Hey, good lookin‘!” he cried. “If your husband would just turn his back a minute, I’d give you a kiss to curl your toes, you beautiful thing!”