Charlaine Harris - Dead Over Heels

As Martin and I made our unnecessarily complicated way out of the hospital (I wondered if the architect had just read a book on English mazes before he began on the hospital plans) and into the overcrowded parking lot, I noticed I was again experiencing the unease I’d had earlier, the chill of loss, as though the Youngbloods, bound to us by employment and friendship, were moving away from us for good.

I was in no party mood when we pulled into the parking lot of the community center. Martin cut off the motor and we sat looking at the concrete-and-glass building, the fresh-painted parking lot with its rudimentary trees in the medians. We heaved simultaneous sighs.

“We’ll get through it,” Martin said bracingly.

“I know.” But I heard the complaint in my voice and said, “At least we get to look marvelous for the evening! And I’m looking forward to seeing so many of the people I only get to see at Pan-Am Agra things.”

Martin hated being part of a receiving line, so we just happened to be close to the entrance; anyone who felt like it could shake Martin’s hand or hug my neck, or give us both stiff bobs of the head. I resigned myself to being called “Mrs. Bartell” all evening, since the constant correction “Ms. Teagarden” would have been tedious.

For this annual occasion, Pan-Am Agra had rented the newly built community center, which boasted a huge room that could be adapted to many purposes. This evening it looked festive, with giant Easter eggs and streamers and balloons combating the general institutional atmosphere. A potted bare artificial tree stood in the middle of the room with large plastic eggs hanging from it, each containing a slip of paper describing a door prize. I’d already been informed I was the designated distributor, and I watched with resignation as the glass bowl by the entrance filled with more and more slips with names scrawled on them, as more and more Pan-Am Agra employees slapped on their hand-lettered name stickers and moved into the room.

This was supposed to be a dressy occasion; but as always, nowadays, there were people who came in blue jeans or stretch pants. My mother would have shuddered. I felt grateful I’d dressed down in a rather plain cocktail dress in cream and gold. I was wearing heels, which I hated with a passion, and every time my feet throbbed I told myself this was my sacrifice for Martin, a return for all the times he took it for granted I would go my own way and do whatever made me happiest.

I caught glimpses of my husband surrounded by men in suits who were laughing, holding glasses of nonalcoholic punch (Pan-Am Agra could not support drinking and driving), and from time to time glancing over to the tables where their wives were already seated. Martin was at ease, dealing with the conversation with good humor and a natural facility.

I wasn’t faring as well. I was getting a bit tired of so many women telling me in so many words that I was lucky to have such a handsome husband. If Martin and I had been the same age, they wouldn’t have commented; I couldn’t quite work out why the age difference apparently gave them license to speak frankly. I was willing to bet none of the men were complimenting Martin on my big boobs.

Every now and then, I’d get to talk to someone I really liked, like Martin’s secretary, Mrs. Sands, a tall, thin forty-five with luridly dyed black hair and a broad sense of humor. Tonight, I could only view Mrs. Sands with awe. She was decked out in a red-and-gold sequined sweater, red slacks, and gold sandals with three-inch heels that made her even loftier. My own modest heels looked sedate in comparison. Mrs. Sands, Marnie to her friends (but not to me), gave me the dignified greeting one potentate accorded another of slightly greater stature. Though I was the sultan’s wife, her manner implied, she was the Grand Vizier, the one who held true power.

Actually, she was right in many ways. I didn’t mind giving her credit; Martin said she was a great secretary, gauging perfectly when to allow plant personnel to have access to him, when to leave him undisturbed, and how to locate him at any moment.

“Honey,” said Mrs. Sands, “I need to talk to you.” She glanced around; we were a little apart at the moment. I looked up at her, surprised and interested; usually we just exchanged compliments and small talk.

“Fire away,” I said.

“Now, I know Mr. Bartell is a man who can handle any situation, that’s one of the reasons I like working for him, but you’re his wife and there’s something building up out there I think you ought to know about.”

Mrs. Sands cocked her head and her teased black hair leaned a little, like a loose helmet. She was deeply tan and the wrinkles around her dark brown eyes looked as though they’d been incised with a chisel.

“Tell me,” I said invitingly.

“You know Bettina Anderson?”

“Yes. We had supper at Bettina and Bill’s house one time. Oh, and she left a couple of messages on my answering machine I haven’t had a chance to return,” I recalled guiltily. As a matter of fact, the dinner at the Andersons’ had been the first one Martin and I had attended as a married couple; and it had been the first evening I’d realized that the future held many such unwanted but obligatory invitations.

Bill Anderson, the plant safety manager, had been wished on Martin by his superiors. The Andersons had been in Lawrenceton about three years. Bettina, a stout copper-haired woman of about forty, was the most self-effacing wife I’d ever encountered. “I haven’t seen either of the Andersons in a few months, I guess,” I said lamely, aware that Mrs. Sands was waiting for me to say something more.

“Well, I think she’s going through some kind of thing about Mr. Bartell. I can’t believe she’s tried to call you!”

My mouth fell open.

“Bettina Anderson, who’s married to Bill, head of the Safety Division,” I said, just a little question in my voice, because I simply couldn’t believe my ears.

“That’s right, I can’t believe it either,” Mrs. Sands said, responding to my tone and my statement at the same time.

I looked down at my shoes, off-white leather with a gold cap over the toes. I bit my lip to keep from giggling.

“Mr. Bartell usually handles situations like this himself, he sure don’t need help with that,” Mrs. Sands continued, and I abruptly lost any tendency to laugh. I wondered how many other “situations” Martin had handled without my knowledge. I could see how it would be hard for him to say casually, “Fended off another admirer, honey.”

“But this time, this woman is acting so weird, and so’s her husband,” Mrs. Sands said, disgust in her stance. “Weird” was one of the worst epithets Mrs. Sands ever used, and she did not use it lightly.

“Weird in what way?” I asked, returning my gaze to my shoes. This conversation was embarrassing, but fascinating.

“Well, Bill shows up at times when he doesn’t really need to see Mr. Bartell.” My husband was the only “Mister” at the Pan-Am Agra plant, to Mrs. Sands. “He just hangs around until Mr. Bartell gets rid of him-you know how quick he can do that.”

I nodded. I did indeed.

“And Bettina?” I prompted.

“Honey, that woman calls on the phone, and she’s come to the office! Course, I told her he was out of town.”

“Oh, dear,” I said inadequately.

“Now that you know, I feel better,” Mrs. Sands told me. “I’ll be seeing you, Ms. Teagarden.” Mrs. Sands always gave me the correct name, but accompanied it by a sharp look. Keeping my name had cost me many points with Mrs. Sands, but she was trying to forgive me, since I seemed like a proper wife for Mr. Bartell. She gave my shoulder a squeeze and strode off to join a group of her cronies, who’d been glancing our way.