Laura Cassidy: Angel Kiss

‘Yeah, I read a lot of Manga,’ said Colin, ‘so I like drawing that sort of stuff. Anything Japanese really fascinates me.’

‘How do you do it?’ I asked. ‘Do you use a computer?’

‘First I make a sketch,’ he said, sitting up a little bit straighter, ‘then scan it on to my laptop. Then I either work on it digitally, or print it off and use ink and watercolours. That’s what I was doing today, before dinner. I just finished one off.’ It seemed that Colin could be quite talkative once he was concentrating on a topic that interested him.

‘Can I see it?’ I said.

He hesitated for a moment but then got up from his armchair and lowered the brass handles of the doors that separated us from the next room. Then he pushed them open to reveal possibly the coolest bedroom I’ve ever seen.

‘This is your room?’ I said in awe.

‘Yep,’ said Colin, clearing a path through the chaos of clothes and comics on the floor. ‘One summer Mam wanted to use my old bedroom for some guests so I got shoved in here. I really like it so I convinced her to let me keep it.’

Colin’s bedroom was really big, just slightly smaller than the sitting room. The walls were covered in various Japanese film posters. I recognized Akira and Spirited Away . Computer games and DVDs were stacked beside a TV along with an assortment of anime figures. There were a couple of plates and glasses on the floor. The blue duvet cover was crumpled up at the foot of the bed and a noticeboard hung over the headboard with tons of stuff pinned to it – sketches, magazine clippings, ticket stubs. The computer desk was littered with pens, pencils and discarded pieces of paper. I followed Colin through the mess to the back corner of the room. A wooden easel stood there, holding a recently completed project. It was of a girl with jet-black hair and blood-red lips. Her head was bowed and a single red tear, like a drop of blood, stained her white cheek. The overall effect was striking, and I was captivated by it.

‘It’s incredible,’ I said. ‘You’re really talented.’

I couldn’t take my eyes off it.

‘Thanks,’ he said, blushing slightly.

‘Is she based on anyone you know?’ I asked, as I took in all the detail.

‘No, she just sort of appeared in my head.’

I knew what Colin meant. Sometimes ideas for songs just popped into my head, and I had no idea where they came from.

‘Are you going to do art in college?’ I asked, still fascinated by his painting.

‘Hopefully,’ said Colin, flopping down on the swivel chair at his desk. ‘I’d really like to study in New York. What do you want to do in college?’ He had this intense look when he asked questions, like he was really interested in what I had to say. His initial shyness seemed to have vanished, and I felt relaxed in his company.

‘Music, I suppose. All I really want to do is sing and play guitar. But I’ve got another three years before I have to think about college. I was actually hoping to work on a demo this year…’

I surprised myself by telling him that. Maybe Colin would turn out to be one of those people you could share your secrets with. I was even beginning to wonder if I could fancy him.

‘I can’t wait to finish school,’ he said. ‘It’s so boring sometimes. Anyway, wanna go back and watch TV?’

I couldn’t help looking longingly at his computer. I was having serious withdrawal symptoms.

‘Em… would you mind if I used your computer for a few minutes? We don’t have Internet in the caravan and I’d love to just check my messages…’

‘Sure. Knock yourself out,’ he said, pushing some rubbish off the keyboard.

I sat at his desk and logged on while Colin lay down on his bed and picked up a book.

Fifteen messages. The first was from Hannah wondering how I was. The next five were Hannah wondering why I hadn’t messaged her back. She wanted to know was I mad at her because she kissed Ross? Hannah and Ross. Weird. I wasn’t mad though. I used to fancy him, but then I’d seen him throw up after drinking too much cider, and the attraction had dwindled. I presumed they wouldn’t last very long anyway. Hannah disposed of boys just as often as she blew her allowance on Topshop accessories, i.e. almost every fortnight. The next message was a dirty joke forwarded by Ross to me and twenty other people. And the next was a picture of a tiny kitten wearing a top hat, forwarded by Sophie. The rest were spam. I quickly replied to Hannah, explaining why I hadn’t been in contact.

‘Thanks, Colin,’ I said when I’d logged out. ‘I really miss having Internet; you feel so cut off without it. I can get it on my phone but I never have enough credit and the coverage is really bad here anyway so it takes forever to load.’

‘Tell me about it – it’s so annoying. You’re welcome to come down here and use it any time you want,’ he said.

‘Oh, thanks!’

Colin was turning out to be a nice guy.

‘I’m sure you could even stay over sometime if you needed a break. I’d go insane if I had to live in the same room as my mam.’

‘Wouldn’t your mam have something to say about… y’know, me staying here?’

‘Nah, she wouldn’t mind, she knows you’re not my type,’ said Colin with a laugh.

‘Well, you’re not my type either!’ I snapped.

‘No, sorry, that’s not what I meant, Jacki. I’m… I’m gay. Sorry, I presumed you knew.’ Colin looked down at his feet, and I instantly regretted being so snappy.

He’d taken me completely by surprise. ‘Oh! No… nobody told me.’

‘Well, it’s not such a big deal any more, I suppose. It was hard at first, but I came out last year so by now most people around here just accept it.’

‘That’s really cool. And I would definitely like to stay over sometime.’

‘So what’s your type then?’ said Colin as I followed him back into the sitting room.

‘Em… I dunno really,’ I said, but Nick Reynolds’s name suddenly popped into my head. I had tried to forget about him, but I just wasn’t able to. Colin probably knew him… It was such a small village. Maybe I could find out more about him. ‘So…’ I said. ‘I was thinking maybe you could introduce me to some of your friends? I know literally nobody here.’

‘Sure, there’s a good gang in Avarna. I’ll let you know what’s going on. Here, let me take your number now,’ he said, taking out his phone.

‘Thanks,’ I said with a smile and called it out. ‘Well… I’ve already met two people: Nick from the shop and his girlfriend, but only briefly.’

‘Nick’s one of my best mates!’ said Colin excitedly.

‘No way.’ I tried to sound casual, but was really happy to hear that. I thought of quizzing Colin about Nick and Sarah’s relationship, but I didn’t want to be too obvious, so I decided to leave it till another time.

Through the sitting-room window I could see Des’s van pulling up outside his terraced house across the road. He walked round the van and helped an old woman out of the passenger side. Taking her by the arm, he led her to his front door.

‘Is that Des’s mum?’ I asked.

Colin glanced out the window. ‘Yes. He lives with her. She hasn’t been too well lately.’

‘What’s wrong with her?’

‘She had pneumonia.’

‘Oh no, the poor woman.’ I watched the dark figures moving behind the lace curtains.

‘She’s recovering though,’ said Colin, leaning back on the couch.

‘Did his wife die? Or is he divorced?’ I asked as I rearranged the cushions a bit to get comfortable.

‘He never married,’ said Colin.

‘Really?’ I decided not to mention Des and my mum. Talking about something can make it feel more real sometimes. And there was no way I wanted him to become part of our lives.