James Chase - I Would Rather Stay Poor

One evening, a week after the first hint had been dropped about Alice’s boy-friend, Kit came into Calvin’s room. She received a shock.

Looking at himself in the mirror was a tall, heavily-built man wearing a wide-brimmed hat and a fawn belted overcoat. He had black sideboards and a black moustache. The sight of this stranger made Kit’s heart skip a beat and she paused in the doorway, asking, ‘What are you doing here?’

The man turned and grinned at her and she recognised Calvin.

‘This is Johnny Acres — Alice’s boy-friend,’ he said. ‘Not bad?’ He took off the halt and tossed it on the bed, then he stripped off the crepe sideboards and the moustache.

As she watched him take off the overcoat and hang it up, he said, ‘In the half light no one would recognise me. Now the problem is how the major and Miss Pearson can get a glimpse of Mr. Acres.’

A little unsteadily, Kit went to the armchair and sat in it.

‘Mr. Acres must have a car,’ Calvin said. He opened the closet and took out the bottle of whisky. ‘Hello! There’s not much here.’ He looked sharply at her. ‘Have you been drinking my Scotch?’

‘Is that all that of a crime?’ she asked sullenly.

‘Can’t you buy your own whisky?’ he said irritably. He poured himself the last of the whisky and dropped the empty bottle into the trash basket. She watched him furtively. ‘As I was saying, Acres has to have a car. This is where we have to spend to gain. I have three hundred dollars. I’ll need at least another three hundred. Have you got it?’

She hesitated, then nodded.

‘I can get it.’

‘Then tomorrow evening we’ll go to Downside. We’ll go to a movie. There’ll be no secret about it. It’s time the old people knew there is more than one romance in the house. Have you told your daughter yet?’

Kit’s face stiffened.

‘No.’

‘Well, you’d better.’

She didn’t say anything.

‘While you’re at the movie, I’ll go along, dressed as Johnny Acres, and buy a second-hand car. I’ll park it behind the bank until we want it.’

She said tonelessly, ‘You’re sure all this is going to be safe?’

His fleshy face hardened.’

‘I’ve waited a long time for this chance: every move I am making is going to be safe.’

A few days later, Major Hardy was the first of the old couple set eyes on Alice’s boy-friend. It was just after eleven o’clock and the major was finishing a crossword puzzle before going to bed. Miss Pearson had already gone upstairs and so had Kit. The major was on his own. He knew Alice had gone out because her hat and coat weren’t in the lobby. In actual fact, Alice was in bed, reading The Manual of Banking and making notes as she read, but the major wasn’t to know this. He wasn’t to know that Kit, wearing Alice’s hat and coat, had sneaked out the back way and had joined Calvin, dressed as Johnny Acres, who was waiting for her down the road in. a newly-bought, second-hand Lincoln.

The major heard a car come up the short drive, went to the window and peered out into the darkness. He saw whom he thought to be Alice getting out of the car. He then saw a heavily-built man, wearing a fawn-coloured overcoat join her. All this he could see clearly as the couple moved into the light from the car’s headlights. They kissed fondly and the major nodded approvingly. Then he watched the woman he thought was Alice run up the steps and he heard her open the front door as the man got back into the car and drove away.

Rather than embarrass her, the major remained where he was. After he heard the women he imagined to be Alice reach the head of the stairs, he turned off the lights and went upstairs himself.

The following morning, he told Kit and Miss Pearson what he had seen when Alice and Calvin had gone off together to the bank.

‘They’ll make a good-looking couple,’ the major said.

Reporting this to Calvin when they were alone together, Kit said, ‘He has no suspicions at all. I was scared, but you were right.’

‘We’ll do it once again,’ Calvin said. ‘Next time the old girl must see us. Then we don’t have to worry our heads. They’ll make convincing witnesses.’

Three nights later, it so happened there was nothing on television to interest either Miss Pearson or the major. They elected to play gin rummy together.

Calvin and Kit went through the same performance as they had staged for the major’s benefit, and they were aware as they kissed in the beam of the car’s headlights that both the major and Miss Pearson were peeping at them from behind the curtains of the window.

‘We are nearly home,’ Calvin said later. He was lying flat on his bed, a cigarette between his lips, his blue eyes staring fixedly up at the ceiling. Kit sat in the armchair, watching him. ‘We now have two witnesses that Johnny Acres exists. Next month the payroll is delivered on the last day of the month. Alice and I will be working late on that day. We have to get out the monthly statements.’ He lifted his head and looked at Kit, ‘This is the day we’ll do the job. Are you still sure you want to go through with it?’

‘And Alice?’ Kit said, staring at him.

‘Don’t think of her,’ Calvin said. ‘I’ll take care of her. I’m asking you: do you still want to go through with it?’

‘You’ll take care of her? It really means nothing more to you than that?’

Calvin’s thin lips parted in a sneering smile.

‘At least I’m honest,’ he said. ‘I’m sacrificing Alice for three hundred thousand dollars. She means no more to me than a rabbit that has to be killed. You, you’re trying to make something out of this. You want to dramatise the situation. Do you or don’t you want the money?’

Kit shuddered. Her eyes were glassy and there were sweat beads on her face.

‘You are a devil,’ she said. ‘Yes, I want the money, but I’ll never stop thinking of that girl. All right, don’t sneer at me. I couldn’t do it, but if you will, then I’ll take advantage of what it brings.’

Calvin laughed.

‘Well, that’s honest. All right, so at the end of the month, we’ll do it. Between now and then, we’ll make the happy announcement that we are engaged.’ He raised his head and looked at her. ‘Have you told your daughter yet?’

She looked away.

‘Not yet.’

‘Tell her tonight! She has to be the first to know.’

‘I’ll tell her.’

‘Let’s go through the whole plan now,’ he said. ‘If you think I’ve made a mistake anywhere, tell me.’ He let smoke drift down his nostrils while he collected his thoughts. ‘Thursday three weeks ahead falls on the last day of the month. Instead of Alice and I leaving and locking up after the payroll has been delivered, we have the legitimate excuse to stay on because we’ll have to work late getting out the monthly statements. As we will be in the bank while the money is there the sheriff or Travers will keep watch on the bank. They will know that as long as we have the lights on, the safe isn’t protected by the electronic eye. That won’t worry them because they know if anyone tries to break in to grab the money, I have an alarm button under my desk that I can set off, and besides, you can bet, they’ll be on the watch. There is a back entrance to the bank that is never used. It leads out onto a small parking lot where I have parked the Lincoln. The door to the back entrance is locked and bolted. When Alice is busy, I will unlock and unbolt the door. She has a key as well as I so when the investigation begins, it will be assumed that she unlocked the door to let Acres in.’ He paused, staring up at the ceiling for so long that Kit said sharply, ‘Well, go on… what happens next?’

‘What happens next?’ Calvin lifted his head to look at her. ‘Alice exchanges that awful hat of hers for a halo. At least, I hope it is a halo. That’s what happens next.’