Cliff Ryder - Aim And Fire

“You know I’ve been angling for a spot at the Virginia center once it’s online. That’s why this is important—I have to look to the future, as well. I’m not just doing it for me, but, I hope, for all three of us.”

Paul stopped to stand in front of her. “What if I said I didn’t want you going?”

She stared up at him, her brow furrowing. She knew Paul cared deeply about her, but sometimes that came out in what she saw as ridiculously protective actions or thoughts. “I’d say this isn’t your decision to make.”

“I figured you’d say that. You know, I was first attracted to you partly because you’re so damn hot, but also because of your huge independent streak. However, at times like this it can certainly be a pain in the ass.”

She smiled sweetly. “Just like your overprotective nature can be, too.”

“Well, I don’t think I’m wrong to be concerned. I know you can take care of yourself, but this is a completely un-familiar area you’d be heading into.”

“No, it’s not, Paul. It’s intelligence gathering and analysis, which is what I’ve been trained to do in my job. Only the geography changes—that’s all.”

“And the people you have to work with, and the job itself once you get there and any number of other things, any of which can bite you in the ass. I’ve been to places where there was no support staff on the government side or among our own people, mainly because they were cooling their heels in jail. And I certainly don’t like what I’m hearing about the Border Patrol lately—seems a lot of them don’t like the head guy very much, and there’s rumblings of an internal revolt coming.”

“None of that impacts how I do my job or how this agent I’d be paired with should do his,” Tracy said.

“It shouldn’t, but it does.”

“So you’d rather have me stay here and keep my head down until a safe position comes along?”

“I thought we had discussed both of our career tracks trying to mesh as closely as possible so we could both stay in the D.C. area.”

“This would help me do that.”

Paul stalked across the room. “Dammit, it would put you at risk! This isn’t crunching numbers on a computer screen about something that happened a thousand miles away. If they want you there, then it’s something local, and if it involves the border, then it’s most likely something dangerous that they don’t want leaking to the press.” He took a deep breath, obviously trying to rein himself in.

“When you said where the job was, the first thing I thought of was you lying dead in the desert somewhere, and I don’t want that to happen.”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Paul, now you’re being melodra-matic.” Her words trailed off as a thought came to her.

“Jesus, you don’t think I can do this, do you?”

“That’s not it at all—”

“No, that is it. You think I should stay in my safe little cubicle and crunch data and not stick my head out at all, don’t you?”

“Being concerned about you and thinking you can’t do something are two very different things, Tracy.”

“If you’re trying to seriously talk me out of this, you’re doing a piss-poor job,” she shouted.

“It’s hard to do that when you’ve practically made up your mind already. Jesus, why discuss it with me in the first place if you’re just going to go off and do it anyway!” He crossed to the window and stared out at the drops gathering on the glass. A bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, the silver-white light revealing the emotions on his face— anger, concern and fear all warring with one another. At that moment, Tracy felt closer to him than ever before.

She got up and walked behind him, slipping her arms around his waist. “Paul, nothing’s going to happen to me.

Most likely they’ll set me up in an office to crunch data on a computer, but I doubt I’ll ever be in any physical danger.”

Even as she spoke, she realized the ludicrousness of what she was telling him—after all, if that was the case, she could have conferenced in from D.C.

He stiffened at her words, but turned and enfolded her in his arms. “Come on, Tracy, I’m your fiancé, not an idiot.”

“Then I’d appreciate you treating me as such, and not like a child. I’m telling you not to worry, I can take care of myself.”

Paul sighed. “Just like talking to a brick wall. You’re going to do whatever you damn well choose, aren’t you?”

“If by that you mean I’m going to make the decision I feel is best, then yes.”

“Of course, it’s not like I’d be able to change your mind, but I do wish you wouldn’t take this.”

“Duly noted, and I haven’t decided one way or the other yet. I’m surprised you’ve thrown in the towel so early.”

He leaned back and looked at her. “You’ve got that scrunched little line at the bridge of your nose, which means you’ve already dug in your heels. I recognized that by our second argument.”

“I’ll have to work on that. I don’t want to give you any more tells. Look, would you mind if I borrowed your car?

I’m going to head home tonight—get some time to think on the way.”

“You know you can stay here. I could run you back in the morning.”

“No, staying here will just give me more reasons not to go.”

“So much for my cunning plan,” Paul said.

“Yeah, and don’t think I hadn’t noticed. Look, if I decide to go, I’ll stop by and say goodbye, and if I stay, then our own trip is still on, so don’t let Jennifer know about this just yet, okay?”

He held up his keys. “All right, all right. You’d better go before I try something really silly, like keeping you here against your will until the feebs find someone else.”

Tracy snatched them out of his hand. “In that case, I’m gone.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, holding on to the moment for as long as she could. “I’ll call you regardless.”

He hugged her again, holding her to him before letting go. “You’d better get a move on if you plan on getting any rest tonight.”

“It’s a foregone conclusion I’m not going to get much anyway.” She walked to the door, opening it and letting the crisp night air in, redolent with the fresh smell of the rain.

“I’d certainly miss this down south.”

“Hopefully that’s not all you’d miss. Tracy, just—give me a call later, will you?”

“I will.” Tracy walked to the car and got in, adjusting the seat to fit her smaller frame, and pulled out of the driveway. She navigated the maze of suburban streets around his condo, breathing in Paul’s unmistakable scent in the car. Only when she reached the highway did she allow herself to think about their conversation.

She hadn’t been lying to Paul. The decision still wasn’t clear in her mind. The practical choice would be to take the assignment, but practical didn’t count for much when staring into the eyes of a little girl and telling her you were going away for a while. Indeed, a part of her couldn’t believe that she was this wrapped up in making the call, and all because of a little girl. All her life Tracy had prided herself on being able to make rational decisions, unclouded by emotion, unlike so many other women. Yet from the first time she had looked into Jennifer’s big blue eyes, she had been lost. And even stranger—she actually enjoyed the feeling of being depended on, of having someone in her life who needed her. Not like Paul—their relationship was different. Jennifer was a force unto herself, one that could divert Tracy from the goals she had set for herself, and the direction her career was heading.

And ultimately, that is what it is all about, she thought as she reached into her jacket pocket for the sleek black cell phone the FBI agent had given her. Flipping it open, she listened as the phone automatically dialed a contact number. Oddly, the small screen remained black, the phone not showing the number it was calling.