Allison Brennan - Cutting Edge

They went up to his office, and Nora admired the layout. “Wow. This is really nice.”

“Thanks.” He glanced at his email. “Jayne’s with a client, but she’ll buzz me when she’s done.”

Nora stood looking out the window, but Duke doubted she saw the downtown view, particularly impressive on this sunny day.

“I warned her,” she said. “I told her Lorraine was a pathological liar, she couldn’t believe her, and she’d make Quin crazy and confused. I thought she understood. I mean, it wasn’t always easy with the two of us, but it’s better now. Quin has a great job, we don’t argue much, we’re friends. Maybe-maybe I could understand why she wanted to see her again. But to continue to visit? A couple times a year? I just don’t get it.”

“She was young when all that happened. She didn’t have your experience. Nora, you practically raised yourself. You took responsibility for a young girl, not just after Lorraine went to prison, but before that. You raised Quin more than your mother.”

Nora spun around and faced Duke. “Then why didn’t she listen to me? Why didn’t she do what I said? Why did she have to lie to me?”

Nora didn’t have a traditional upbringing. She didn’t understand how teenagers rebelled and did what they wanted. Duke said, “I had a great relationship with my parents, but I didn’t do everything they told me to. I did what I wanted.”

“But this was serious-not sneaking out of the house to go joyriding.”

Duke ignored her sarcasm and said, “My father told me not to work for Kane, my brother. Told me I wasn’t ready, and he didn’t know if I ever would be. I took that to mean I wasn’t good enough, or at least as good as Kane. I resented my dad for saying it, and went and joined Kane’s mercenary group. I had been a United States Marine, I could do anything. I said that to him, too.

“I knew third day in that I was in over my head. I could do the physical work, no problem. Even emotionally, until I left, I could handle any situation. I became the unit’s go-to guy for fixing the unfixable. But it was the seriousness of the day-to-day job. There was no downtime. Downtime was relaxing in the jungle where you never really relaxed because someone could be sneaking up on you. Your senses always on overdrive. I was miserable. I could do it, but I wasn’t happy doing it. And Dad knew that. But it was something I had to find out myself.”

Nora rubbed her temples and sat down on a chair at the large round table in the corner. “I appreciate that, and I understand where you’re coming from, but you got out of the bad situation. You learned your lesson and moved on. Why is Quin still seeing her? What lies is Lorraine feeding her?”

“Maybe Quin just wants to see her mother. Maybe she feels sorry for her. Maybe she doesn’t want her to be so alone. Lorraine’s locked away for the rest of her life. Quin has a lot of compassion, just like you.”

“I have no compassion when it comes to Lorraine.”

“That’s fine. But Quin’s in a different place and she doesn’t recall the bad times like you do. I risked alienating my brother Sean. You raised Quin most of your life-I got Sean when I was twenty-seven. He was nearly fourteen. Yet I tried to protect him from my mistakes. It wasn’t until he threatened to work for Kane-and I said, ‘Fuck no’-that I realized it didn’t matter what I said, Sean was over eighteen and he could do whatever he wanted. He could work for Kane and learn what I did, or maybe be able to stomach that life. I only thought he’d be killed. But I shouldn’t have said anything, and let him go. Kane would never take him on, Sean has no military background, and while he’s smart as hell-his I.Q. higher than even mine-he doesn’t have the experience.”

He grinned, hoping to get Nora to lighten up a bit. While she did relax a fraction, he couldn’t get her to smile.

“Cut her some slack, okay?”

Nora said, “I will.”

Duke wasn’t sure of that, but he gave Nora the benefit of the doubt. “Quin will be here in a few minutes. Eat-” He gestured to the sandwich he’d picked up for her downstairs in the lobby. “I’m going to check on Jayne and let Reception know to send Quin back here. I’ll give you two some privacy. Just-think about what I said, okay?”

“Thanks, Duke. I’m going to make some calls, follow up with the agents talking to David O’Dell, keep myself busy.”

“Good.” He leaned over, put his palms on the table behind Nora, and trapped her between his arms. He kissed her lightly on the lips. “You might be noticing that I’m giving you space.”

Now she smiled. “I thought Rogans don’t give space.”

“Maybe just a little now and then.”

Maggie walked through Quin’s entire town house. Nice, a little boring. Everything in earth tones, subtle. Quin was so funny and talkative, her town house seemed sedate compared to her effusive personality. She didn’t believe in keeping stuff around. But there were pictures on the walls, pictures of Quin and Nora, Quin and a variety of boyfriends. At the fair, at the circus, on vacation in Hawaii. Quin, Quin, Quin. Where was Maggie? Where were the snapshots of Quin and Maggie?

Maggie took an old picture off of Quin’s dresser. Quin was about seven, and Lorraine was in the picture. So was Nora. They were all holding signs. Lorraine’s read: “Meat is Murder.” Quin’s was, “I don’t eat anything with a face.” Nora’s message was partly cut out of the picture, tilted at an angle. “Stop” was the only word Maggie could make out.

Quin and Lorraine were smiling, Lorraine’s arm around her. Nora had space between them, neither smiling nor frowning. Just staring blankly at the camera.

Maggie realized that this was Nora’s problem-already so sour and depressing. She was clearly jealous of Lorraine and Quin. Is that why Nora betrayed them? Because she didn’t fit in? Didn’t want another baby around who fit in with the family when Nora didn’t?

“You fucking bitch!”

She flung the picture across the room. It shattered on the wall, bits of glass raining onto the carpet.

“I hate you!” She went through the town house and found every picture of Nora she could and destroyed them. She shredded them, stabbed them, and with one she put it in the sink and poured bleach over it until the colors faded, then disappeared.

She’d make Nora disappear.

“I. Hate. You!”

The rage was so great inside that Maggie felt as if she was going to burst. She hadn’t felt so out of control in a long time. She’d let her temper get the better of her a couple times when she killed Payne and then Professor Cole, but that was just a little. This was a building rage.

Stop. You’ll make a mistake. You must not make a mistake .

Grabbing her backpack, Maggie ran upstairs to Quin’s bedroom. She sat on the bed. With trembling hands, she pulled out her knife and placed it on her arm.

Control. Control. Control .

If she couldn’t get her rage back, she’d die, and that was okay. Sometimes she wanted so much to be dead.

But then Nora would win .

She breathed deeply. The disturbing thought that she’d lose to that bitch calmed her.

Deep breaths. The sharp pain in her arm put everything in focus. Good. Calm. Breathe.

When she opened her eyes she saw all the blood. One … four … seven cuts. Quin would be angry. The blood had soaked into her carpet as well as the bed with its pretty white comforter.

A bit light-headed, Maggie stood and went to the bathroom. She put the knife down and cleaned her arm. Each mark was a perfect one inch apart, just deep enough to draw blood. Perfect in every way. She stared at the incisions, pleased with her control.