Allison Brennan - Killing Fear

Robin unbolted the door and let Will in. As soon as she closed and locked it, Will took her in his arms, her body up against the wall. He kissed her as if it were for the last time.

Her arms went around his neck and she pulled him to her, drinking in his embrace as if she hadn’t seen him in years and still loved him.

With Robin, he never wanted to wait, he wanted to make love to her wherever they were, at the drop of a hat. It had been that way since the moment they first met, but he didn’t want their relationship to be built solely on lust. He wanted the connection they’d begun before he blew it, the one he prayed they could find again.

“Robin,” he murmured, pulling back.

“Hmm,” she mumbled, her voice heavy with sleepy desire.

He kissed her neck, so white and long and soft. He felt the vibration of a moan in her larynx, so he kissed her again.

Will picked her up and carried her to her bed.

“The bed? That’s a novel idea,” she teased.

He didn’t smile back. “I blew it with you, Robin. I won’t blow it again.”

Her smile faltered. “And having sex in bed has something to do with that?”

“I want to make love to you.” He kissed her neck again. “I want to show you how much I love you.”

“Will, please-”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Just kiss me.”

“No.”

She frowned. “What are you doing?”

“I’m not doing anything other than trying to fix what went wrong. I know exactly what you’re doing.”

She tensed beneath his body. “Do you? So smart.”

“You’re pushing me away.”

She literally pushed him off her. “ That’s pushing you away, Will. Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to make more of us than there is? Why can’t we just enjoy each other and not talk about all that other stuff?”

“Because what happens between us is important. It’s more than sex. You know it as much as I do. I love you, Robin. You have to listen to me.”

He sat next to her on the bed. She rested her head on her arched knee and looked at him, large green eyes exposing her hope. She was so beautiful, comfortable and sexy in her partial nudity. “I made a mistake by not going after you seven years ago and telling you I was wrong. Look at it from my viewpoint-I saw the M.O., I made a judgment call. I was wrong.”

“You were wrong about me. I told you-”

“I know what you told me, and I should have believed you, but I’m a cop, okay? People lie to me all the time.”

“I’ve never lied to you, Will.”

“Do you love me?”

“What kind of question is that? How can you expect me-?”

“Do you love me? If you’ve never lied to me, answer that question.”

Her bottom lip quivered and Will almost felt bad for pushing her. “Oh, God, I want to, Will.” Tears formed in her eyes.

He gathered her back into his arms. “I want you to love me, Robin. More than anything. I’m not going to let you walk away this time. You mean too much to me. My only regret is that I didn’t see it seven years ago. I was too self-absorbed, too scared that I was falling in love and would screw it up again.”

He brushed back her hair, unable to keep his hands off her. She leaned into his caress. “I gave up the one person who would have made a real difference in my life. The one person who gave me more life, more joy, than anyone else. You’re the first and only woman I’m willing to give up everything for. My job. My friends. My life. I’ll go anywhere to be with you, I’ll do anything to convince you that I want to live my life with you in my bed, at my side, in my heart.

“Seeing you again after seven years of drought-it brought everything into perspective. Being a cop means nothing to me without you.

“So I ask you, Robin. Do you love me? Do you love me like I love you?”

Robin couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. The pain and fear and anguish washed down her cheeks and she wrapped her arms around Will. “I’ve always loved you, Will. From that first night, I’ve loved you.”

She showered him with kisses. “No more apologies,” she whispered in his ear. “No more what-ifs. I’m not going to run anymore.”

They were naked in minutes, taking and giving everything they had, joining in the exquisite moment where you know for certain that the person you love loves you the same way.

After, Will watched Robin sleep. The peace on her face was the same as in his heart. For now, for these quiet hours before dawn, they could forget everything except each other.

But reality intruded much sooner than Will expected.

Carina was already at the crime scene when Will arrived. She wasn’t handling Jim’s murder well, and Will didn’t blame her. She and Jim had been romantically involved years ago, and they’d remained good friends.

Nick Thomas, Carina’s fiance, had driven her to Jim’s house after she got the call. He stood on the periphery, giving Carina space, but knowing just as Will did that she wouldn’t be able to work the case. She was too close to the victim, too emotional. Even the responding officers saw that and kept Carina from walking into the house.

Will sat in his car several minutes, his head on the steering wheel. What had they done wrong? Had their news conference backfired? Or had Theodore Glenn come out of hiding?

Nick approached his car and Will got out. “How’s Carina?”

Nick shook his head. “I didn’t want her to come, but-”

“She had to see for herself.”

“Help me take her home.”

Carina was pacing on the front lawn of Jim’s house. “Finally,” she snapped when she saw Will. “What were you doing? Fucking Robin while Jim was shot to death?”

“I’m going to forget you said that,” Will said through clenched teeth. “Go home, Carina.”

“No. I’m working this case. Jim was my friend. I thought he was yours, too.”

“He is.” Was. “Please, Carina. You’re not going to be any help in this state.”

“What state is that? That I care? That I want justice? If I see Theodore Glenn I’ll shoot first. That bastard. That bastard!” Tears of rage and anguish coated her eyes. “He killed him in cold blood. For no reason other than the fact that Jim was doing his job !”

Will put his hands on her shoulders, felt the tension ripple under her skin. “See, Carina? You’ve already gotten it wrong because you’re too close to this case.”

“What in the world are you talking about?”

“Theodore Glenn didn’t kill Jim. Jim opened the door to his killer. Jim knew the person who shot him.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the crime lab van pull up. “Carina, trust me on this one. Let Nick take you home. I’ll call you and tell you everything.”

“Promise?”

“Yes.” Will nodded at Nick to grab Carina.

“Let’s go home, Cara.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, letting Nick escort her to their car.

Will strode over to where Stuart Hansen and Bonnie Jamison were pulling equipment out of the van. “What happened?” Both looked stricken.

“I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to leave. The sheriff is on the way.”

“The sheriff? Why?”

“You know the victim.”

“Is this because of that report on the news? Did Jim know something?”

“You know protocol. I’m sharing jurisdiction with the Sheriff’s Department. You need to leave.”

Stu looked like he wanted to argue, but he quickly packed up and he and the junior tech drove away.

Will took a deep breath before walking up to the front door where two uniformed cops guarded the house. The door was open, Jim’s body on the floor, three bullet holes in his chest. The responding officers had checked for vitals, but Will himself also checked. He couldn’t believe Jim Gage was dead. They’d worked so many cases together. They hadn’t always been friends, but Will had complete respect for the scientist. No one was better at the job than Jim Gage.