Allison Brennan - Killing Fear

She didn’t want to close. Her business would suffer. Her employees counted on their wages. Could she afford to pay them without bringing in income? Not for long. Maybe for this weekend. But it wasn’t just wages, they received more in tips than they did in their paychecks.

She turned away from her art, which usually brought her joy. There was no joy left tonight.

A loud rap sounded on the door. She crossed over and looked out the peephole, expecting Mario.

Will stood there again. Staring right back at her, though Robin knew he couldn’t see her.

Her heart jumped. Her emotions were on overload, but she admitted she was relieved-happy-to see him.

She turned off the alarm, unbolted the door, and let him in. “I thought you’d left.”

“I walked Hans out. Can I come in?”

Robin stood aside, let Will in, then rebolted the door and reset the alarm. She put her forehead against the door. “Will, he’s going to kill you.” She couldn’t believe that was the first thing she said, but it was her greatest fear.

“No, he’s not.”

Will was right behind her. His hands were on her shoulders and he squeezed. She stifled a cry. She’d wanted him to touch her. Stay with her. Protect her from her fears and doubts. Reconnect with him, rediscover what they’d lost seven years ago. If only she had forgiven him back then, would her life have been different? Maybe she wouldn’t feel so alone.

She said in a whisper, “Do you really believe that someone else killed Anna?”

“Yes,” Will said, his voice tight.

She began to shake. The more she tried to control it, the worse the shaking became.

“First things first,” Will said, turning her to face him. His eyes explored her, his arms wrapping around her, keeping her close, rubbing her shoulders. “We’ll recapture Theodore Glenn. He’s the immediate threat. Don’t forget that. Whoever killed Anna thinks they got away with it. Hans and I are going to do everything we can to make them think just that. So if you hear on the news tomorrow that we don’t give any credence to Glenn’s statement, don’t believe it.”

“I–I can’t think about Anna right now. It’s hard for me to accept. I just-” She swallowed, unable to get her thoughts to come out right.

Will was so close, his face inches from Robin’s. “I understand,” he whispered. “I hate it. That I might have made mistakes in the investigation, that I didn’t think anything of that page from your home number, that I might have been able to save Anna-”

“Or be killed.”

He kissed her lightly. “I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to you. God, Robin, I-”

He dropped to his knees, his mouth skimming her clothing. He looked down at the floor, then up at her.

“Will-”

“I need you to forgive me, Robin.” His arms wrapped around her waist and he kissed her stomach. “I was so wrong, I made a mistake, I’m sorry. I’ll apologize every day for the rest of my life if that’s what it takes to get you back-”

“No-” she whispered.

He cut her off. “I’ve missed you. I think about you every night. I’ve lived with this deep regret for too long. I threw you away, I didn’t know what a precious gem I had in my hands.”

“Oh, Will, don’t-”

“I have to make you understand. I need you to understand.”

Robin fell to her knees so that they were face-to-face. She kissed him. She didn’t want to hear him say I love you. Not now, not like this. Not when she didn’t know if she could believe him, if the words would be spoken out of guilt or regret.

She’d never stopped loving him, but forgiveness was so hard for her. The pain twisted in her heart, the love and the hurt entwined.

Robin wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him close to her, at first taste remembering the passion and discovery they’d enjoyed when they first met. She’d missed him, missed the intimacy and intensity that she’d never had with any other man. She didn’t need to lead or follow, she didn’t need to direct or act. With Will she was herself, giving fully, receiving fully, her glorious potential exposed, bringing the best out of Will and he drawing the best out of her.

He moaned into her mouth and she swallowed his desire. Her hands worked on his buttons, frantic now. Not wanting to wait to remember everything they’d had. She pushed off his shirt, pulling his undershirt out of his Dockers, his chest hot to the touch. Her mouth moved from his lips to his chest, her tongue swirling around his nipples as she pushed him back to the floor.

This was how she remembered Will. The heat and excitement and heavy desire. No waiting, no holding back. All of him, right now. His hands were under her shirt, his fingers unsnapping her bra with a flick of his wrist. Then his hands on her breasts, kneading, pulling, pushing, making every cell in her body throb for more.

She licked him, all the way down his chest, to his navel. Her fingers popped open his button fly and freed him, but she didn’t stop. She pulled his slacks off, jerking his shoes off at the same time.

“Come here, Robin.” Will’s voice was thick and deep.

As she trailed wet kisses up his body, his hands grabbed her arms and pulled her up so she lay on top of him. When he kissed her this time, her breath disappeared. Will rolled over, covered her body with his, his kisses going deeper, harder, more fierce as they tried to get even closer. His hands gripped her hair as their bodies moved together; her hands couldn’t stop. It had been so long, too long, since they’d touched, kissed, held each other skin to skin.

“Take. Off. My shirt.” Robin could barely catch her breath, Will had intoxicated her.

He leaned up just enough to pull her T-shirt over her head and she tossed her bra across the room. Then their chests touched and she moaned, grabbed Will and brought him back down to her, her long jean-clad legs wrapped around his waist, her mouth finding his, the roughness of his nighttime stubble arousing her as much as his tongue dueling with hers. His mouth moved to her neck and suckled, biting her lightly, then to her shoulder, down to her breast where he took as much into his mouth as possible, the suction causing her to gasp and arch her back. His hand found the other breast where he massaged, until he switched sides, the exquisite pleasure with a touch of pain, just enough to make it real, to make her regret walking out seven years ago. To make her yearn for the past and crave the future.

“Will.” She said his name on a wisp of a breath, all her feelings and energy focused on the intensity of attention he paid to her chest. Only Will could turn her on so quickly, make her abandon all thought of patience and drawn-out lovemaking. She wanted him all, right now, and later. “God, Will.”

She used all her muscles to push him off and over, rolling on top of him, moving her pelvis into his hard erection. She sat on him, his hands on her butt, squeezing, massaging her, as her hands rubbed his hard chest, trying and failing to slow her racing heart. Will’s heart raced with her, she felt it under his skin, thump thump thump, pounding against her hand. She kissed it, drawing his nipple into her mouth and biting lightly until he groaned. His hands fumbled with her jeans and she moved to the other nipple, not being gentle anymore, his rough hands pushing down her jeans, kneading her, pulling her toward him before she could pull the jeans off. They tangled around her ankles.

“I need you, Will. Right now. Take me away. Like the first time. Like the last time.”

Will rolled back on top, unmindful that they had moved halfway across the living room in their urgency. He jerked off Robin’s jeans, her long dancer’s legs smooth and soft under his hands. She was the most beautiful woman in the world with the finest body. He remembered every inch of her peaches and cream skin, the light covering of freckles on her shoulders, the mole on the inside of her left thigh. He kissed it and she spread her legs, writhing beneath him, needing him as much as he craved her.