Allison Brennan: Love me to death

All that time he searched for her, she’d been dead.

He opened the locket. Inside on the right was Monique on her sixteenth birthday, her smile bright and beautiful. On the left was a picture of him holding her the day she was born.

There was a piece of paper on his chair. He picked it up, then sat down heavily, still holding Monique’s locket, a groan of agony and grief coming deep from his lungs.

Several minutes later, he unfolded the note.

This belongs to you .

Lucy relaxed for the first time in … forever. She curled up in front of Sean’s fireplace Thursday morning. He’d asked if she wanted a fire, considering what happened on the farm only one week ago, but that hadn’t made her scared of fire any more than what happened six years ago made her scared of men.

Sean slid next to her and handed her a cup of hot coffee. He wore sweatpants and no shirt. She was bundled in her warmest pajamas and had a blanket.

She tilted her head back to kiss him. “I could get used to this pampering.”

“Go right ahead.” Sean returned her kiss.

She sighed. “Patrick is coming back tomorrow.”

“So?”

She frowned and stared at her coffee.

“Lucy, talk to me.”

“He’s my brother.”

“Really? And he’s my partner.”

“Exactly.”

“Exactly … what?”

She leaned forward and put her mug on the table, then turned around and straddled Sean’s lap. She kissed him passionately, her hands on his chest. He responded by pulling her close to him, his hands moving up the back of her pajama top, his rough palms on her bare skin.

She broke the kiss a minute later, flushed and smiling. “That’s what.”

It took Sean a minute, but then he got it. Sort of. “You don’t want your brother to know we’re sleeping together?”

“I think that’ll be hard to hide, considering that Dillon and Kate know that I spent all week here. It’s just that-I really want to do this right.”

“I thought I was doing it right,” Sean said with a sexy grin, his hands moving down her pajama bottoms.

She rolled her eyes, then laughed when he tickled her.

“I love to hear you laugh, Lucy. You don’t do it enough.”

“Then you’ll have something to shoot for, won’t you?”

“You want to go slow. I understand.”

“Not too slow. But I can’t just move in here, and not only because Patrick is living here. Though that is one reason. You’re getting your new office off the ground, and already you’re delayed because the last two weeks you were handling my mess.”

Sean frowned. “That wasn’t your mess. If you think for a minute that I didn’t want-”

She shook her head. “No, that’s not what I meant. I know this business is important to you. To prove to your brother you can do it, but even more to prove it to yourself. I not only respect that, I understand it. I feel like I have to constantly prove to my family that I’ve grown up, that I am capable of making my own decisions, that I am stronger than they give me credit for. They’ve been shielding me for a long time, trying to protect me, and I love them for it, but I am finally getting my own life. I have the FBI interview in three weeks. That’s about me , not Dillon or Patrick or any of my family. I have to succeed or fail on my own merits.”

“You’ll succeed.” Sean ran his fingers along her cheek.

She kissed him, her chest swelling with his confidence in her. “So I want you to focus on your business, and I’m going to focus on my interview. If everything goes as planned, I’ll be at Quantico before the end of the year. That’s twenty-one weeks of training, and-”

“Shh.” He put a finger to her lips. “I understand. Lucy, I’m not going anywhere. You’re the best thing that has happened to me. You make me a better person. I want you in my life, but I understand about taking it a step at a time. Step one.” He kissed her. “We learned that we like each other.” He smiled. “Step two.” He unbuttoned the top button of her pajamas. “We discovered that we are attracted to each other.” He unbuttoned the next button. “ Very attracted.”

His fingers skimmed down her bare chest to the third button, which he undid.

“Step three.” He undid the fourth and final button. “We have fun together. You have a life important to you. I have a life important to me. Those lives are compatible.” He kissed first one breast, then the other. Lucy drew in her breath and held it.

“Step four,” Sean said, his voice gruff, “we are extremely compatible in bed.”

“We’re not in bed,” Lucy whispered.

“No, we’re not. We need to go to step five.”

“Which is?”

“How compatible are we on the couch?” He smiled and kissed her, and she leaned against him, her now-bare chest pressed firmly against his.

“I hope we pass,” she whispered in his ear.

“I believe in second chances.” He held her face in his hands and she stared at him, feeling the deep affection pouring from him to her. Her heart skipped a beat.

Was this love?

She didn’t dare hope, not now, not this soon. But her heart opened to the possibilities of what a life with Sean might be like.

“Lucy,” he said, “I’m willing to take as many steps as necessary with you. We are good together. I know it, you know it. So if some of the steps take longer than others, I’m okay with that. Like I said, I’m not going anywhere.”

She swallowed her emotions, fearing she’d start crying because Sean was the best thing to happen to her. “I’m so happy you’re in my life,” she said. She kissed him. Again. Held her lips to his and smiled.

“Now,” she said, leaning back, “let’s take advantage of our last day here alone. We’re on step four, right?”

Sean shook his head. “We can go back to step four, if you want to make sure we got it right, but we’re on step five. The couch.”

“Right,” she said slipping off her pajama top. “Just how compatible are we on the couch?”

“I’ll venture a guess and say very compatible. But I might need to test that theory and go back and forth between step four and step five. Just to make sure.”

Sean held Lucy close as he kissed her, his hands on her body, unable to stop moving, almost in disbelief that he had this incredible woman in his life. That she was his. That they might very well have a long future together.

That’s what he wanted, and so did Lucy. She was just not quite ready to admit it. But he hoped to convince Lucy in time that she wanted the same thing.

And then, they’d start on her happily ever after.