J. Jance - Name Witheld

"I had to take Karen back into the hospital early this morning," his disembodied voice continued. "I've been here all day. In fact, that's where I'm calling you from right now-a pay phone in the lobby. I've been in touch with the kids. Scott should be home within hours. Kelly will be coming with Jeremy and little Kayla. They'll be leaving Ashland sometime this evening and driving straight through. If you want to come down…"

Dave broke off. I could hear him struggling to regain his composure before he went on. "Sorry about that," he said finally. "I guess I got a little choked up. As I was saying, if you want to come down, too, it would probably be better if you did it sooner than later. Sometime in the next two or three days. I'm off work, so I can pick you up from the airport anytime. You're welcome to bunk in here with me if you like. It's a big house. Even with the kids, there'll be plenty of room. I'm leaving pretty much this same message on your machine at home in case you miss this one. I told Kelly I'd let you know, so she and Jeremy won't have to worry about getting in touch with you before they leave town. I probably won't be back at the house until fairly late tonight-sometime around midnight. Give me a call then. However late it is, I doubt I'll be asleep."

Then he hung up. I held the receiver away from my head, staring uncomprehendingly at it through tear-dimmed eyes. Faintly, very faintly, I heard the recorded voice mail reciting its familiar directions: "To replay this message, press four. To erase this message, press seven. To save it, press nine. To disconnect, press star."

But at that precise moment, I was incapable of pressing any number at all. The receiver simply tumbled out of my hand. For some inexplicable reason, it came to rest exactly where it belonged-in its cradle-automatically disconnecting the call.

Dave's chilling words sank in slowly. Karen was dying. The surgery, the chemo, the radiation had worked together and had bought her a little relief and a little time-enough for her to see her granddaughter born and to see her daughter, Kelly, happily married. But very little beyond that. Not enough. Not nearly enough.

And here was Dave-staunch old bighearted Dave-calling to see if I wanted to come down. Calling with the very generous offer of letting me decide whether or not I wanted to be included in the looming family crisis when there was no good reason for him to do so. When most people in his position would have said, "Screw you, buster. You blew your chances a long goddamned time ago."

I can't quite enumerate all the conflicting emotions that washed over me in the course of those next few awful minutes. Terrible sadness. Anger that life could be so unfair and that Karen would die so young. Regret that I had ever lost her in the first place. Thankfulness that, of all the guys out there in the world, the one she had chosen to marry had turned out to be as kind and caring as Dave Livingston inarguably was. Jealousy that Dave was there at her side instead of me. And last of all, the appalling realization that had our situations been reversed, I might not have been nearly as openhanded to him as he was being to me.

God help me, I didn't cry. Some kind of stupid pride stuck in my craw. I didn't let myself go, although it probably would have done me a world of good. Instead, I sat there stunned and empty and not moving for a very long time-ten minutes? Fifteen? Maybe longer. I have no idea.

Finally, almost like an electric shock, something else took over. Force of habit kicked in, and responsibility and maybe a kind of stiff-necked pride. Of course I'd go. I had to. I'd call Dave back and tell him I was coming, but not until after things were straightened out. After all, I was in the middle of a case. I couldn't just walk away and leave the job half done, could I?

The answer to that question should have been an unequivocal yes. The sensible thing would have been to pick up the phone right then. I should have called Paul Kramer, given him everything I had, and then caught the very next plane to southern California. But for some reason, I didn't do that. Couldn't do that.

When I glanced at my watch again, it was almost seven-thirty. That gave me four and a half hours before I could call Dave back. Opening my notebook, I thumbed through until I found the numbers Dave Riveira had given me for Virginia Marks. I tried the cellular number that was listed there. She answered almost immediately, "AIM Research."

"Hello," I said. "Is this Virginia Marks?"

"Yes. Who's this?"

"My name's Beaumont. Detective J. P. Beaumont with the Seattle P.D."

"I know who you are," she said. "What do you want?"

Her reaction wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy, but she didn't hang up on me, either. I hurried on. "I need to talk to you, Ms. Marks. I'd like to do it as soon as possible. Tonight, if it's convenient."

"Cut the ‘convenient' crap, Detective Beaumont. I know what this is about, and I know I have to talk to you, so we might just as well get it over with. I'm already late for one meeting, but I'll probably be done with that by eight-thirty or so. How about nine o'clock?" she concluded.

"Where?" I asked.

"My place, I suppose."

"Where's that?"

"It's in Bellevue," Virginia answered. "It's a new condo at the corner of Bellevue Way and Northeast Twelfth. It's called The Grove on Twelfth. You'll have to park under the building and then call my unit from the security phone next to the elevator."

"Good enough," I said. "I'll be there right at nine."

Since I had to go back to Bellevue anyway, I decided to try to kill two birds with one stone. I dialed information and asked for Bellevue information. "Name, please," the information operator asked me.

"Gibson," I said. "Latty Gibson on Main Street."

"I have an S. L. Gibson on Main Street."

"That's the one."

She gave me the number and I dialed it immediately. It rang several times, but when there was no answer, I finally gave up on making any more calls, and devoted the next forty-five minutes to writing up a series of reports for Captain Powell. They detailed my day's worth of activities and clued him in on the unofficial ballistics information I'd picked up from Gabe Rios.

Flush with the illusion of having accomplished something, of having made some small progress, I left the office and headed home. There wasn't a lot of time between then and my appointment with Virginia Marks, but there was enough so I could spend a few minutes sitting in the recliner with my feet up.

In retrospect, I suppose I should have recognized that feeling of false euphoria for what it was, but I didn't. Instead, I took it at face value. I found some comfort in the idea that I was doing something constructive. That illusion kept me from thinking too much; kept me from contemplating the emotional quagmire that was lying in wait for me down in Rancho Cucamonga. Instead of seeing things for what they were, I blithely headed out into the night, convinced that I was perfectly capable of handling whatever was coming.

I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself about that. After all, when you've spent a lifetime stuffing your feelings, it isn't easy to change.

Down at Belltown Terrace, I didn't bother pulling into the garage. Instead, I parked on the street and then walked up to the lobby entrance so I could stop and pick up the mail before continuing on upstairs.

Kevin, Belltown Terrace's newest doorman, left his desk and hurried to meet me. "Good evening, Mr. Beaumont," he said, clearing his throat. "There's someone here who's been waiting to see you."

"Really?"

I glanced around the lobby. There, on one of Belltown Terrace's two handsome but highly uncomfortable lobby couches, sat a grim-faced middle-aged woman who looked as though she had just stepped out of a Grateful Dead concert. Her hair was a wild mane of unconstrained curls. She wore a tie-dyed ensemble-T-shirt and gathered skirt-that matched only insofar as the wild colored dies were of somewhat the same hue. Her small, gold-framed, round-lensed glasses reminded me of the kind John Lennon used to wear. White socks under black socks completed her outfit. A well-used, grubby briefcase sat on the floor next to her feet.