Alex Palmer - Blood Redemption

He shook his head again.

‘Yes,’ she said, speaking urgently, ‘finish it now. Stop it where it is.

Just tell me who she is.’

Again he shook his head slowly. No. No.

‘Why not?’ Grace asked. ‘Why not? Who are you going to save?

You can’t save her from this. It’s too late for that. It was too late as soon as she pulled that trigger. The only thing you can do is salvage what you can for her. That’s the only way you can help her and help yourself. You can do that for yourself. You can salvage something for you.’

He began to hit the sides of his head with his fists.

‘Don’t do that,’ she said, ‘don’t hurt yourself.’

‘No,’ he said, his voice strained with tears, ‘I am not fucking going to do it. No.’

He repeated no, no, no and then leaning forward, struck his forehead hard on the table several times, quickly. Ria Allard stood up at once and ran back quickly towards the wall while Harrigan hit the emergency button.

‘You stop that now !’ Grace was standing up, stretching across the table, shoving him back hard with both hands. He stopped like a bird in mid flight at her touch. He had blood on his forehead where he had split open his skin.

Harrigan stood back, watching. When the uniformed officers arrived, he waved them to stay back, indicating they should wait.

‘That was stupid,’ Grace said to the boy, genuinely angry. ‘Do you see this? Look at that — I don’t want this from you.’ She reached forward and wiped the blood from his forehead with a tissue and showed it to him, throwing it on the table. ‘Do you think anybody really cares if you make yourself bleed? No, they don’t. They love seeing it happen. They stand around and they watch and they cheer.

They say, oh, do that again, please, a bit more blood this time, thanks, and a lot more pain. The more you do it, the more they like it, they get hooked on it. Do you really want to give anyone that satisfaction? No, you don’t. Never do that to yourself. Never, never do that.’

The tension was gone from the air as the boy sat staring at her. He shrugged, a gesture closer to despair than aggression. She sat down again.

‘I do what I fucking like,’ he said, speaking only to her, ‘because it doesn’t matter. I’ve got to get that into your head. You’re not going to know who I am if you don’t know that.’

‘No,’ she said, leaning forward again, ‘things do matter. They do.

You matter.’

‘No.’ He spoke with finality.

‘You can’t believe that about yourself.’

This time he didn’t reply.

The case worker moved forward to stand behind him. ‘The interview is over,’ she said.

‘We’re just getting started, Ria,’ Harrigan replied.

‘No. He needs a doctor. This interview is over.’

‘I didn’t mean him. I meant you. Sit down,’ he said.

‘What?’

‘Sit down, Ria. This won’t take long.’

‘Can you get this boy to the medical officer, thanks,’ Harrigan said to the waiting officers. ‘This lady will join him a little later when she’s finished here.’

‘I get to go now, do I?’ Greg asked.

‘You do,’ Harrigan replied, his face expressionless.

Grace took one of her cards out of her jacket pocket and underlined her name before passing it the boy.

‘That’s my name and number. If you want to talk to me, you can call me.’

‘Why?’ he asked, looking at it.

‘Just take it. Just in case. You never know when you might need something.’

He shrugged and pocketed it.

‘Don’t hurt yourself,’ she said.

He looked at her, directly in her eyes, and smiled. She understood him.

‘Don’t,’ she said but he only kept smiling to himself as he left the room.

‘What did you mean by going on with all that bumf? It matters ,’

the case worker mocked Grace, after the door had closed behind Greg.

‘I mean, he should be on suicide watch,’ Grace snapped, her colour high under her daily paint.

‘You’re panicking a bit there, aren’t you? He’s always like that.’ Ria was dismissive. ‘Or are you worried you might be responsible?’

Grace had opened her mouth to reply when Harrigan forestalled her.

‘Okay, Ria,’ he said quickly, ‘just a few quick questions. It won’t take long. He knows her, doesn’t he? He knows who this girl is. So I think it’s a fair bet you do as well. I’m asking you. Who is she?’

‘No, I don’t know. Why should I?’

‘You’re such a good friend of his, Ria,’ Grace said, needling. ‘He would have confided in you, surely?’

‘No. Why should he? He doesn’t trust anyone.’

She looked away when she said this, her voice shaking a little.

‘What’s her name?’ Harrigan asked.

‘Whose name?’

‘This girl. The one who shot two people in a back alley yesterday.

What’s her name? You know who she is. You know who he hangs out with.’

Harrigan was making it clear he did not want to be pissed about.

The woman almost shouted at him in reply.

‘No, I don’t. I do not know that. No way are you putting that one on me.’

‘Ria, I thought those people might be a matter of concern to you.

The way they are to us.’ Harrigan was calm in response to her anger.

The case worker stared at him with a look of unashamed and intense fury.

‘Yeah, well. They matter, don’t they? I get to concern myself with the people who don’t. But why are you asking me all this stuff? Why aren’t you out there going after Mr Preacher Graeme Fredericksen?

He’s supposed to know these things too, you know. He’s even supposed to care. Why don’t you talk to him?’

‘We’re trying. He’s not answering his phone at the moment,’

Harrigan replied after a short pause.

‘Is that right? I am so surprised.’

She spoke softly, with an unexpected depth of hatred. They were both momentarily silent, watching her.

‘Not someone you’d want to call a friend in that case, Ria,’ Grace said, disturbed by the woman’s expression.

‘Fredericksen? Of course he’s my friend. He’s everybody’s friend.

He’s our latest wonder boy. He wowed the high-ups in the Commission, they think he walks on water. They gave him everything he wanted. Approved his charity, got him his operating grant.’ She drew breath, as if about to cry. ‘But you never know. Never know with anyone, do you? People lie to you all the time.’

Don’t they, though, Grace thought without compassion.

‘He’s your wonder boy? They’re rare. I’ve never been able to find one,’ she fished.

‘No? People like him are going to solve all our problems. And they’re not going to spend any money doing it either. Oh, no, they’re going to make money. They’re going to go out there and they’re going to save all the lives we couldn’t. And the rest of us can just pack up our tents and go home.’

Grace thought that a white toxic fury had consumed every portion of energy Allard had to offer. Harrigan watched the case worker, repelled by a degree of anger that he saw as uncontrolled and useless.

They sat in unrelenting silence, looking at each other.

‘Is that it?’ Ria asked. ‘Can I go and see to Greg now?’

‘That’s it.’ Harrigan stood up and opened the door quickly. ‘I’m sure he’s waiting for you. You can go.’

She was gone immediately. When they stepped out into the corridor after her, she was already moving away at a fast pace, her escort hurrying behind her. There was an awkward pause as they watched her disappearing back.

‘Nice try, Grace,’ Harrigan said. ‘For a moment there, I thought you had him.’

‘Yeah. But I didn’t quite get there,’ Grace replied, thinking, no, he was never going to tell me, there had been no point in tormenting him the way she had.