Phil Rickman - The Prayer of the Night Shepherd

‘But it took a lot of booze to live with a curse.’

‘Yeah.’

‘What happened on the rocks, Brigid?’ Bliss said quietly.

‘Well, he started by breaking up my humble power base, as he saw it. He threw the oil lamp at the wall, and it went on the bed. He was set on a course by then, he made sure it all caught fire. After that, I don’t even... I don’t even remember how we got there...’

‘At the edge of the rocks?’

‘He was pretty drunk. I was thinking, what if he goes up with the petrol tank? Selfishly, I assure you, because I’d get the blame...’

‘What happened, Brigid?’ Bliss said again.

‘What happened?’ Brigid started to laugh and then choked on the smoke. ‘The last of the Chancerys – the last of the Vaughans – out on the edge like Holmes and Moriarty at the Reichenbach Falls, that’s what happened. And the snow’s coming down heavily – you couldn’t even see where the edge was. And he’s going, “I’m having you out of here!” He’s going, “I’ll have the whole of the fucking press here by the morning, if not before. You can’t go anywhere, you can’t get out in this weather, but they ’ll get in when they know. They’ll hire helicopters.” This kind of madness. Then he just starts backing away towards the edge, and he’s shouting, “What you gonna do now? Gonna push me over like our esteemed granny?” And I’m like, “Are you crazy?” ’Cause the snow’s built up this kind of ledge that projects beyond the edge, so you think it goes back further than it actually does.’

‘And he was crazy,’ Merrily said.

‘Oh yeah. But I mean, me too. I pushed the bastard over.’

‘You pushed him or he slipped?’ Merrily said.

‘I pushed him. I’m Brigid Parsons, granddaughter of Hattie C. What do you think, I’m going to try and save him?’

‘Yes,’ Merrily said.

Bliss said, ‘ Merrily... ’

‘He grabbed at your hands, your wrists, and you tried to hold on, and his nails tore your wrist...’

‘I don’t remember.’

‘You don’t want to remember.’

‘Merrily, this is not what we do,’ Bliss said.

‘This is not the interview room, I can do what I like.’ The heat was in Merrily’s spine again, all the way up. ‘This is Brigid taking responsibility again. She’s putting her hands up and she’s saying, “Yes, it’s me, I take full responsibility, it’s me, the flawed human being... it’s not the other thing .” ’

‘Merrily,’ Bliss said gently, ‘you’re forgetting the rest.’

‘No, I’m not. Brigid, did you go down that slippery, treacherous path to the bottom of the quarry in the blinding snow and beat Sebbie Dacre’s head in with a rock? Did you do that?’

Brigid rocked back in the chair, eyes tight shut.

‘I don’t remember.’

‘She doesn’t remember,’ Merrily said to Bliss. ‘You need to get Ben Foley in here.’

ON THE TV monitor, watched by Bliss and Ben Foley, Brigid was talking about life in a detention centre for young offenders where her peers regarded her with a kind of awe.

‘I was pretty much heartbroken for months. Couldn’t talk to anybody for fear of breaking down. That was seen as me being aloof and cool and dangerous. Nothing’s ever how it looks, is it?’

Merrily, crouching next to Brigid at the desk, murmured, ‘Mark and Stuart. Did they try to rape you?’

‘Get off my back, Merrily. Why would I give the parents any reason to like evil Brigid any small amount better while thinking less of their sons?’

‘You’re not evil, Brigid.’

‘Natalie,’ Brigid said.

‘Brigid...’ Bliss was sitting on the edge of the desk. ‘Do you say anything about Dacre on this video?’

Brigid shook her head. ‘He didn’t want any of the spooky stuff.’

Merrily saw Ben Foley wince.

‘I meant his death,’ Bliss said. ‘The death that occurred not long before you recorded this.’

‘No. Of course not.’

‘All right, I’ve seen enough for now, thank you, Mr Foley. Hang on to it, though. Can you make a copy?’

‘I did that before the power went.’ Ben was looking nervous, Merrily thought, his skin pale and porous.

‘Tell me how exactly you encountered Mr Largo last night, Brigid,’ Bliss said.

‘Well... I knew he was supposed to be coming back, to shoot the White Company experiment. Antony said he’d wanted to see me again before it all got going. He said he was on his way to Stanner Hall for the White Company.’ Brigid looked apologetically at Ben. ‘Actually, I don’t think that was his intention. I don’t think he’d have come back here at all last night if the snow hadn’t made it impossible for him to get out of the valley.’

‘You’re probably right,’ Ben said. ‘He was just going through the motions. I misunderstood his glee.’

‘He said he saw me in the Daihatsu, taking the track up to Stanner,’ Brigid said. ‘But then he saw this Range Rover coming up a bit later. When he saw that it was heading the same way, he decided to wait at the bottom, near the quarry, so whoever it was wouldn’t see us together. After... what happ—’ Brigid’s face tightened. ‘After I pushed my cousin off the rocks, when I was stumbling down, Antony must’ve seen me from his Shogun, and he came out to meet me, with a torch. He said he thought he’d seen somebody falling. Next thing, we both saw Sebastian lying in the snow, and it was... you know, it was pretty obvious he was dead.’

‘What did Mr Largo say?’

‘He said, “Christ, Brigid, what’ve you done?” And I was... stunned, I suppose. It was a bad dream. To find I’d... done it again. Killed somebody. Happening just like that – so fast, so unstoppable . You’re looking round to see if the world’s the same place you were in a few minutes ago. It’s like the whole sky’s come down on you. Like all the sides of everything are coming in on you. You can’t believe it happened, you want to turn time back. You can hardly breathe.’

She’s talking about the first time . Merrily’s fingers were clasped around the pectoral cross.

‘I really didn’t hate him, I pitied him. And there he was, killed so quick. Here one minute and ranting... and then just a piece of bloody meat. And you think... how can it—? And... and then you turn around and all your future’s gone as well.’

Bliss said softly, ‘And Mr Largo said... what?’

‘He said, “Oh my, Brigid, you’re in the shit here.” ’

‘He didn’t ask you what happened?’

‘He just said that. And then he said best not to go too near. He said I was obviously in shock. We moved the Daihatsu back to near the roadside, and he took me back to the Shogun and drove me off up towards Presteigne or somewhere. We went into this fairly big pub I’d never been in before, where there were quite a few people, and he found us a table by the fire and he bought us brandies. And he was trying to explain how it was going to be if they got me for this... like if they got me. I knew it was as good as all over, and I was hardly listening, just sitting there in front of that fire, thinking about Jeremy back at The Nant and his fire. That lovely fire. Thinking we’d never sit in front of that again, together. Thinking about Clan, what was going to happen to her now. Thinking how, when the Social Services got hold of her, there’d be nobody who could remotely understand what she was carrying around, and Clan, she doesn’t help herself, you know?’

‘He was right, though,’ Bliss said. ‘You were in a mess.’

‘He said, “Look, I want to help. I’m not going to tell you there’s nothing in it for me, that it’s any kind of selfless act, but I’m willing to up the percentage considerably.” And I’m like, “What’s the use of that, you can’t have a murderer taking a cut, there’s some law against it.” And he said no, the money would go to Clancy, in trust, or whatever. However I wanted to do it.’