Phil Rickman - The Fabric of Sin

Safely . Jane glared at Tom Bull. Oh yeah .

‘Mrs Clarke—’

‘Look, it’s all right .’

‘No … this is about Merrily, you see.’

Jane stood up quickly, her back to the wooden screen.

‘I think we’d better sit down,’ Siân said firmly, and Jane, well out of sight, automatically sat down again, before realizing.

‘I’ve agonized about this, you see,’ the woman was saying, really intense. ‘When I heard that a very senior minister had taken over for a few days, I knew what I had to do. I said to myself, you’re not going to get a better opportunity than this, are you? In fact, to be honest, I thought … well, I thought this was a sign from God.’

‘I see,’ Siân said.

Oh sure. Like she ’d believe in signs from God. Jane stood tensed against the wooden screen, airline bag at her feet, hands clenched into fists, pushing at the pockets of her parka, listening to it all coming out, this senseless stream of totally unfounded bollocks. No sublety at all, no restraint, no … no basic intelligence.

‘… I know people were beginning to have their doubts when she reduced the number of hymns at the morning worship from three to two. Hymns are traditional, aren’t they? Songs of praise we all know. And the church I went to before, there was always an evensong.’

‘Well, yes,’ Siân said, ‘I’m afraid quite a few parishes have had to dispense with it, mainly due to falling congregations, especially in the winter. Many people really don’t like leaving their firesides and, indeed, in some places, simply don’t feel safe any more going out after dark. Especially the elderly.’

‘But replacing it with this so-called service of meditation?’

‘It seems to be rather popular.’

‘But it’s not Christian , is it, Canon Clarke? It’s eastern religion , that’s what it is. Sitting there in a circle with candles, men and women, dressed in … in casual clothing, so-called opening themselves up …’

‘Well, you know, there is a fairly well-established tradition of Christian medi—’

‘Not in the Bible!’

‘Well that depends on how you— However—’

Siân, you had to give her some credit, was doing her best, but you could hear the woman’s voice rising higher, when she wasn’t getting the reactions she’d obviously expected, the accusations getting wilder, crazier. Jane getting madder.

‘… And I think what offends many of us is the way she makes no attempt to conceal her private life, which is not … Well, she has a boyfriend, see, and there’s no doubt – no doubt at all – that they’re sleeping together out of wedlock. A priest! What kind of example is that setting to young people?’

Jane fought for control. All the time and energy she’d spent bringing Mum and Lol together, and this small-minded—

‘At least, she’s one of the women he’s sleeping with. He’s a so-called musician, see, a rock musician of some kind, and we all know the level of their morality.’

‘I’m sorry, Shirley, I’m not sure I understand precisely what you’re saying here.’

Shirley?

‘Well, I’ll tell you, Canon. My brother overheard some young women talking in the Black Swan. They were drunk, as so many of these young women are today, and one of them said she … well, there are words I will not use in church, or anywhere else, but she seemed very much to be implying to her friends that she’d had sexual congress with this man.’

Jane froze up, Thomas Bull smiling at her, and she wanted to kick his smug face in. The despicable, small-time viciousness of this village. Anyone who really knew Lol. But they didn’t want to, did they? They just watched from behind their curtains and muttered and fantasized.

She wanted to storm out there, snatch this bitch out of her pew, point out that people like her were the reason the Church was dying on its Celtic foundations, losing what was left of its real spirituality. Haul her to the door and throw her out.

‘And the smoking. It’s not nice, is it? There’s no excuse any more, all the help that’s available. It’s a sign of weakness. I’ve seen her smoking in the churchyard, with the gravedigger. It’s a public place. I could have them arrested.’

Jane let her face fall into her hands.

‘… And you do know, I suppose, that she’s supporting these people who want to reinstate a pagan temple?’

‘I’m sorry,’ Siân said. ‘A pagan temple?’

‘In the field where they were going to build a housing estate? Starter homes for our young people.’

Executive homes, you ignorant …

‘Nobody can tell me that those stones were not buried for a good reason.’

‘Oh, the stones ,’ Siân said. ‘I see.’

‘You would expect our parish priest to oppose that on principle.’

No reply from Siân. She must surely have realized by now the level of insanity she was dealing with here.

‘And if it wasn’t for the daughter …’

‘Jane?’

‘The daughter – well, that explains a lot.’

‘You’ve rather left me behind here, Shirley.’

Shirley .

Shirley West. Mum had talked about this woman a few times, Jane only half-listening because this had been Mum as doormat: feeling obliged to help someone whose attentions had become kind of smothering. Just another vicar-hugger, Jane had figured. And all the time, behind Mum’s back …

‘Put it this way,’ Shirley West said. ‘How often do we see the daughter in church?’

‘I’m afraid I don’t know.’

‘Never!’

Jane had to hold on to the screen to prevent herself from walking out there and going, Not quite never .

‘Believe me, Canon Clarke, she’s had a terrible time with that girl. Hated the idea of her mother becoming ordained and has just … gone out of her way to make her life a misery. Impossible to control, absolutely no respect … and this is not gossip, Canon, I’ve had this from a respected public figure. This girl and that old man who digs the graves and smokes, they were very nearly arrested for vandalizing the buildingsite in Coleman’s Meadow, did you know that? She was in a kind of hysterical frenzy.’

‘Shirley, I …’ Siân paused. ‘Regrettable as all this might be, I’m afraid you’d probably find similar situations in the homes of over half the clergy in this diocese. Most teenagers go through a period of rebellion against their parents’ values. The only consolation being that if children are left to make up their own minds, without being pressurized, they will often find their own way into what we still like to think of as the fold.’

‘But is it?’

‘I’m sorry …’

‘ Is it a rebellion? Because Merrily is involved with the other business, isn’t she? Ghosts and the demonic.’

‘You mean deliverance.’

‘Which is to do with the occult. I’ve been in the vicarage, Canon Clarke, I’ve seen the occult books on the shelves.’

‘Well, she’s had to study all that, Shirley. She’s had to go into areas of study that many people would find distasteful.’

‘But does she ?’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘Does she find it distasteful? I’ve talked to people about this. I have many Christian friends all over the country. My information is that this is a job that’s always been done by men before. She was probably the first woman exorcist in the country, that’s my information. And she’s also the first that I – or any of my friends in the church – have known to introduce this so-called meditation. This opening up of a congregation to unseen presences.’