Ben Cheetham - The Society of Dirty Hearts

Julian cut her off. “Jesus, what do I have to do to get you to leave me the fuck alone?”

“I was just going to ask if you know anywhere I can get a room for the night, that’s all.” Nikki’s tone was hurt. Shaking her head, she started to stand to leave.

Little creases of disquiet appeared between Julian’s eyebrows. “You not from around here?”

“No, I’m just passing through.”

“On your way to where?”

“None of your fucking business.”

“Are you on your own?”

Nikki stared at Julian, perplexed, hostile. “Why the sudden questions? I thought you wanted me to leave you the fuck alone.”

“I do…I mean, I did…” Julian sucked in a breath, trying to clear his drink-fogged mind. “Look, will you sit down.” When Nikki remained standing, he continued, “I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you just now. I’ve had a shitty day. In fact, a shitty week.”

The hostility left Nikki’s eyes. She sat back down. “What’s been so shitty about it?”

Julian shrugged. “The usual stuff — work, women.” He changed the subject. “What about you? What’s your story?”

“I guess you could say I’m just kind of drifting around.”

“Doing what?”

“Not much, that’s kind of the point of drifting.”

“Don’t you think it’s dangerous to travel alone?”

“Not really, if you know how to look after yourself. Anyway, I’m thinking about hanging around this town for a while, maybe even trying to find a job.”

The creases between Julian’s eyes deepened until they were like cuts. “I’d keep going, if I were you. Take it from me, this isn’t the kind of place you want to be.”

“Why not? Seems like a nice enough town to me.”

“Yeah, well appearances can be deceptive.” Julian rolled his eyes around the room as if to make sure no one was listening, before going on, “There’s something very wrong with this town.”

“Really? What’s wrong with it?”

“Don’t you read the papers? A girl went missing from around here just the other week.”

“Oh yeah, I heard about that. But I thought she was supposed to have killed herself.”

“Well you thought fucking wrong,” snapped Julian. Seeing the hurt look come back into Nikki’s face, he raised a conciliatory hand. “Sorry, sorry, it’s just that I know the girl. She’s a friend.”

Nikki smiled sympathetically. “Don’t worry about it. No wonder you’re so down.” She reached across the table and gave Julian’s hand a squeeze. “Poor baby.”

At this show of compassion from a stranger, Julian felt tears rising up his throat. He swallowed them back down with the last of his drink. “She’s not the only one who’s gone missing either. There’ve been other girls. Three for sure. Maybe more.”

Nikki leaned closer, intrigued. “So what do you think’s happening? Do you think someone’s abducting them?”

“I don’t know, maybe.” Even drunk as he was, Julian wasn’t about to get into all of that, not there, not with a stranger.

“Well what do the police think?”

Julian’s lips curled into a sneer. “I don’t think they think at all.” He removed his hand from under Nikki’s. “Look, all I know is a girl like you shouldn’t hang around here. You should move on as fast as you can.”

“Well I’m not going to be moving on anywhere tonight. I don’t have a car.”

“I do. I’ll give you a lift anywhere you want to go.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I don’t think you’re in any condition to be driving.” A mischievous glint came into Nikki’s eyes. “Besides, how do I know it’s not you doing the abducting? How do I know you won’t take me out into the woods and have your wicked way with me?”

“Because I was only four or five years old when the first girl went missing. And anyway, you’re not really my type.”

“Oh, so what is your type?” When Julian shrugged, squinting at him as if trying to weigh him up, Nikki added, “I’ll bet you like blondes. Cute little things with dimples and good-girl smiles. I’m right, aren’t I?” Julian made no reply, but his eyes dropped away from hers. “Ah, he’s gone all shy,” she teased.

“You want a lift or what?” Julian asked a touch brusquely.

“Tell you what, let’s have another drink, and I’ll think about it.” Nikki stood. “What you drinking?”

“Coke.”

“Vodka and Coke.”

“Just Coke.”

When Nikki returned with the drinks, she said, “So tell me about yourself.”

“There’s nothing much to tell. I grew up around here, and nothing much happens around here.”

“Except all those girls going missing.”

“Except that.” Julian swallowed half his drink in one, spilling dark trickles out of the corners of his mouth. “What about you?”

“I guess I’m trying to work out what I want to do with my life.”

“Where you from?”

“All over. My parents were travellers, not Gypsies, but Hippy types.”

“You’re lucky. Growing up in a town like this, it makes you small. Small and afraid.”

“Of what?”

Julian jerked his chin at the window. “Of the world out there — the big, bad world.”

“From what you say, sounds like there’s more to be afraid of around here than out there.”

Julian’s mouth turned up in a sour smile. Nikki threw back her drink, and stood. “Where you going?” asked Julian.

“You convinced me, I’m getting the fuck out of this town. Come on, drink up and let’s go.”

Julian finished his drink. As he pushed back his chair, he felt a strange sensation, like his feet were sinking into the floor. He staggered and Nikki hooked her arm through his, steadying him. “I’ll be alright,” he assured her. “I just need some air.”

Nikki guided Julian through the crowded bar. Something occurred to him. “Haven’t you got any bags?” he asked.

“I travel light.”

As they made their way to Julian’s car, he sucked in lungfuls of the evening air, but rather than clearing his head, it made him even groggier. His legs felt loose and wobbly, barely able to support him. There was a bitter taste in the back of his throat. “Fuck,” he slurred, vainly trying to insert his key in the lock. “I must be drunker than I thought.”

Nikki took the key off Julian and opened the door. He collapsed into the driver’s seat. “So whe…where do you wa…wa…” He struggled to shape the words, as if his tongue and brain were out of synch.

“Where do you want to go, Julian?” Nikki’s voice was different, neither hostile nor friendly, it had a flat, uninterested tone.

Julian rolled his head to look at her. Through the fog of his mind a thought reached him. “Ho…how do you kn…know my na…na…”

Nikki finished Julian’s question for him. “Name.”

He nodded so slightly it was barely perceptible.

“You must’ve told me.”

No I didn’t, thought Julian. But the words wouldn’t form in sound. Something was happening to Nikki, something that caused his mouth to hang open and a guttural sound to tremble in his throat. She was inflating, ballooning to a giant size — either that or the car was shrinking to the proportions of a dollhouse. She leant over him, big enough to crush him. Her lips opened and closed, but all that came through them was a mushy, incomprehensible drawl. Now her facial features were blurring at the edges, losing their shape — or rather, taking on a new shape. And then she was no longer Nikki, she was Mia — Mia as she’d looked the last time he’d seen her. And they were no longer in the car, they were in Mia’s bedroom, lying on her bed. “Kiss me,” she said, moving closer.

“No.” Julian tried to hold her off, but his arms were as weak as a baby’s. Her lips touched his, and, as they did so, the bed floated to the ceiling and began to spin around. The room flashed by, colours blurred towards white. Faster, faster, whirling, faster, faster, faster, like a fairground waltzer. A black blur appeared within the white blur, seeping outward like ink on blotting-paper. And then the last of the light was gone, and Julian was gone too.