Brad Meltzer - The First Councel

“And what’s your twist? Born with nothing, you now want everything?”

“It’s better than nothing.”

She takes a long look at me, studying my features. Her short fingernails are picking at the edge of her paper plate. I have no idea what she’s thinking, but I refuse to say anything. I’ve always believed people connect in silence. Mental digestion, someone once called it. What happens between words.

Eventually, Nora stops picking at the plate. Something clicked.

“You alright?” I ask.

She shoots me a look I’ve never seen before. “Do you ever mind taking care of your dad? I mean, do you ever feel like it’s a burden… or that’s it’s… I don’t know, more than you can handle?”

It’s the first time I’ve ever heard her say something’s difficult. Even as a thought, it doesn’t come easy. “My mom used to tell me that there was always someone who had it much worse.”

“I guess,” she says. “It’s just that sometimes… I mean, even coming out here. This place must cost you half your salary.”

“Actually, it’s barely over a quarter-Medicaid picks up the rest. And even if they didn’t, it’s not about the money. Didn’t you see the way he was walking when he gave us the tour of the kitchen? Chest straight out, ear-to-ear smile. He’s proud of himself here.”

“And that’s enough for you?”

I turn toward the swaying corn stalks in the field next door. “Nora, that’s why Caroline pulled my file in the first place.” Now it’s out there. No regrets. Just relief.

“What’re you talking about?”

“My file. We’ve been waiting for the FBI to clear it, but there’s a reason Caroline had it.”

“I thought it was the Medicaid thing-since they pay for your dad to stay here, it was a conflict of interest to let you work on the legislative overhaul.”

“There’s more to it than that,” I say.

She doesn’t flinch. It’s hard to surprise someone who’s seen it all. “Out with it,” she says.

I lean forward and pull my sleeves up to my elbows. “It was right after I first started in the office. I had just relocated to Washington, and I still hadn’t found a place for my dad. You have to understand, I didn’t want to put him just anywhere-in Michigan, he had one of the best places in the state. Like this, he was out on a farm, and they made sure he was safe, and stimulated, and had a job-”

“I get the picture.”

“I don’t think you do. It’s not like finding daycare.”

“What did you do?”

“If I didn’t get him in here, they would’ve sent him to a training center-an institution, Nora. Forget about a normal life-he’d have languished there and died.”

“Tell me what you did, Michael.”

I wedge my fingernails into the grooves of the wooden table. “When I first started in the Counsel’s Office, I used White House stationery to contact the head of Virginia’s residential services program. Three phone calls later, I made it clear that if he accepted my dad into a private group home, he-and the entire mental retardation community-‘would have a friend in the White House.’”

There’s a long pause after I finish. All I can do is focus on the corn stalks.

“That’s it?” she asks with a laugh.

“Nora, it’s a complete abuse of power. I used my position here to-”

“Yeah, you’re a real monster-you cut the cafeteria line to help your mentally retarded father. Big whoop. Find me one person in America who wouldn’t do the same.”

“Caroline,” I say flatly.

“She found out about it?”

“Of course she found out about it. She saw the letter sitting on my desk!”

“Calm down,” Nora says. “She didn’t report you, did she?”

I nervously shake my head. “She called me into her office, asked me a few questions about it, then sent me on my way. Told me to keep it to myself. That’s why she had my file. I swear, that’s the only reason.”

“Michael, it’s okay. You don’t have to worry about-”

“If the press picks up on it-”

“They’re not-”

“All Simon has to do is give Inez my file… that’s all it takes. You know what they’ll do, Nora-he can’t survive in an institu-”

“Michael… ”

“You don’t understand… ”

“Actually, I do.” She leans forward on both elbows and looks me straight in the eye. “If I were in your position, I would’ve done the exact same thing. I don’t care what strings I had to pull, you better bet your ass I’d help my father.”

“But if… ”

“No one’ll ever find out. I keep my secrets-and yours.”

She reaches across the table and motions for my hand. Finger by finger, she pries open my closed fist. It’s the second time today she’s done that. As her nails skate tiny circles inside my palm, the calm settles on my shoulders.

“How’s that?” she asks.

Questions don’t come any easier. Behind her, the sun lights the edges of her hair. People wait their whole lives and never get a moment this good. Refusing to let it pass me by, I lean forward and close my eyes.

“Mickey-Mikey-Moo!” my dad shouts at the top of his lungs.

Startled, I pull away. Calmly and with far more poise, Nora does the same. Leaning back, she slowly looks over my shoulder. The moment’s lost, and here comes Daddy.

“Got a surprise!” he yells from behind me.

“Where’d you get that?” Nora blurts as a smile lifts her cheeks. In seconds, she’s out of her seat.

On the opposite side of the log fence, my dad’s holding on to a leather strap, which is attached to a gorgeous chocolate brown horse.

“She’s beautiful,” Nora says, squeezing between the horizontal logs of the fence. “What’s her name?”

“You were gonna kiss him, weren’t you?” my dad asks, his eyes even wider than usual.

“Kiss who?” Nora asks as she points at me. “Him?” My dad nods vigorously. “Not a chance,” she says.

“I think you’re boyfriend and girlfriend,” he says, giggling.

“You’re very smart.”

“You maybe gonna get married?”

“I don’t know about that, but I wouldn’t rule anythin-”

“Nora,” I interrupt. “He doesn’t-”

“He’s doing just fine.” Turning back to my dad, she adds, “You raised a good son, Mr. Garrick. He’s the first real friend I’ve had in… in a while.”

Hanging on her every word, he’s mesmerized. Suddenly, his lips start to quiver. He tucks his thumbs into his fists. I knew this was going to happen. Before it even registers with Nora, his eyes well up with tears and his forehead furrows with anger. “What’s wrong?” she asks, confused.

His voice is the enraged cry of a little boy. “You’re not gonna have me at the wedding, are you?” he shouts. “You weren’t even gonna tell me!”

Nora steps back at the outburst, but within seconds, she extends her hand to reach out. “Of course we’d-”

“Don’t lie!” he yells, slapping her hand away with the edge of the leather strap. His face is bright red. “I hate lies! I hate lies!”

Nora takes another step toward him. “You don’t have to-”

“I do what I want! I can do what I want!” he screams, tears streaming down his cheeks. Like a lion-tamer, he swings at her again with the leather strap.

“Dad, don’t hit her!” I shout, racing for the fence. Nora can’t handle this one. She backs away just as he swings again. From the look on her face, I can tell she’s taken aback, but she’s still determined to break through. Counting to herself, she times it just right. He takes another full swing with the strap, and before he can wind up again, she rushes forward. Just as I hop over the fence, she opens her arms and takes him in. He fights to pull away, but she holds tight.