T Parker - The border Lords

I realize that you can't write me without all of ATF intercepting your words, often before I even get them. But I can make plans with you, dear one, and they don't know unless I tell them.

So here goes.

First, here's a way for you to know if my email to you has been ordered or doctored by your criminal enemies or not.

If my salutation reads "Dear Sean," you will know that the email has been compromised by them.

If my salutation reads "My Dear Sean," then you will know that I've written it in private and no one will see it, ever, but you.

As a back-up, if my closing ever reads "Your Loving Wife," then you will know that the email is somehow compromised.

Simple.

So here is my plan. Meet me in the main bar at Rancho Las Palmas in Palm Desert tomorrow evening at seven o'clock. If I'm wearing sunglasses propped up in my hair get out of there as quickly and casually as you can-I have been followed or otherwise found out. I'll have our suite waiting for us.

If you agree to this plan, mention Daisy in your next email to me but mis-spell her name as: Daisey. I expect to see that name mis-spelled, Sean. Oh, please mis-spell it!

Sean, we had such a good time at that hotel a couple of years back, before all of this. I will see you there and love you there as you have never been loved before. After that, you and Betty will have to make room for one more. (I assume you're with her!) I'll pack very lightly. I'll have just enough with me to follow you to the end of the earth. Sean, we tried. We tried to follow the rules and walk the straight and narrow and do the right thing and all that blind obedience they drill into your brain from the time you can focus your eyes. All it did was make us crazy. Enough. It's all a crock. We're lighting out for the territory ahead, Sean. Strange new worlds. Infinity and beyond. You and me and Daisy. I hereby close this book I'm writing, and begin another.

In love and passion and the absolute knowledge that we will be together again.

Your Forever-Insane-For-You-Lover, who is about to send then delete this message, Seliah

PS-When can I get baptized?

Ozburn read the e-mail three times. Sometimes it was hard to concentrate through the noise and the aches.

The plan seemed so good.

So simple and workable.

So much like something Blowdown would think up.

He forced himself off the bed and dug out kibble for Daisy and got her some water. He went outside and stood for a while as the moon hung in the treetops and the pine trees hissed in the wind.

Fifteen minutes later Ozburn got another e-mail from Seliah. It was seven pages long, impassioned, anguished, mostly logical. He could hear her voice. He read it three times, too.

Sounds like something I'd write to her, he thought. He addressed another note to her but he couldn't figure out what to say. He walked outside and looked at the mountains again. Daisy came with him, then seemed to forget why. She sat and watched Ozburn stare out.

He went back into the cabin and paced the little room for a few minutes, trying to unknot his thoughts. He wanted so badly to see her but he knew it was dangerous. Maybe perilous. He smelled Blowdown behind this, smelled them strongly. He decided his answer would have to be no.

But after walking a few more lengths of the cabin, he realized that with a simple yes he would be holding her close to him this time tomorrow, showering her with all the splendid gifts he had waiting for her. And after that, they would be on his mission together, husband and wife, for better or worse, for life. Seliah, Betty and Daisy. All he loved. How could he refuse her? And himself? After all this?

Finally he hit the reply command and wrote back. Dear Seliah, I just had a walk outside. Beautiful night. I love October. I love you. Daisey says hello and together we say GOODNIGHT. I wish you were here so we could tuck each other in. Hugs and more, Sean

Hugely distracted by her evening plans, Seliah worked half of the following day at the Aquatics Center. Sundays were busy when it was hot. It was three and a half hours of near-blinding sunlight, and three and a half hours staring at the water, which made her nervous and nauseous. The water that had always been so beautiful to her, pliant and sensual, was now an alien thing. She hoped she wouldn't have to touch it. The sight of it made her throat ache. A cold coming on? Maybe.

Then, just as she had feared, little Amy Leitman staged a mid-pool panic. The girl screamed and gasped histrionically, threw herself around. Fourth time since July. Seliah knew that she was expected to strip off her hat and shirt and sunglasses and jump in and pull the girl to the side. Amy wouldn't touch the life buoy. She was an attention-starved fifth child and she openly worshipped Seliah and thrived on this ritual.

Seliah cursed under her breath, stripped down, and dove in and felt the terrible water close around her. She was only moderately claustrophobic but her sudden envelopment in the liquid felt like being buried alive. It was! She came up and drew a deep breath and looked through her stinging eyes at Amy, who was thrashing dutifully just a few meters away.

When Seliah was upon her she turned the girl and hooked her strong arm around Amy's chin from behind and drew her elbow firm. She sidestroked across the pool, trailing Amy out behind her. After just a stroke or two, the girl stopped struggling and let Seliah pull her through the water. Seliah could see the little girl's face turned to the sky, eyes big, and her mouth drawn back in a grimace of alarm so fake it would have been funny if Seliah's heart was not pounding viciously against her rib cage and her lungs weren't working so hard and getting so little air. Her skin felt as if it were crawling with something-fleas, flies, worms?

She came to the stainless steel ladder and manually clamped both of the girl's hands to the curving handles. Then gave her fingers a good hard squeeze.

Amy spit up some pool water, but not much. "You… saved… me. Seliah. Seliah."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Amy. Climb the goddamned ladder."

"You hurt my hands."

"Get out."

Seliah hoisted herself to the deck and stood. She reached down and took Amy's hand and pulled her from the pool. Amy stood trembling on the deck and spit up another small load of water, then started crying.

"You don't like me anymore."

"No, I don't."

"I want Mom."

"She won't be her for half an hour. Cry all you want."

Amy looked up at her, bawling. Seliah registered the heartbreak in the girl's face but was unmoved by it. By then a small crowd had gathered. Some of the open-swim kids had seen this before but many had not, and some of the moms came over to comfort Amy, and the dads to size things up.

Seliah looked at the gathered faces, then down again at Amy, whose blubbering was gaining momentum, and she walked back to her stand and gathered up her things and walked toward the exit.

The Aquatics Center director intercepted Seliah at the gate. He was a former butterfly All American with wide shoulders and an easy manner.

"Sel? You okay? What's up?"

She stopped and looked at him. "I quit, Dave. As of right now."

"Well, wait a minute… Why?"

"I can't stand the sight of this place."

"What happened out there?"

"Amy again."

"You were always good to Amy."

"Not anymore. Mail the check."

"I thought you liked it here."

"I can no longer stand it here, Dave."

"Did something happen?"

"I changed."

Dave crossed his arms and nodded. "Okay. But if you change again, I'll hire you right back. I mean, I think I will. What's… what's wrong with you, Seliah? I noticed this at least a week ago. You're not yourself."

"I'm too much myself. See you around, Dave."