P. Parrish - South Of Hell

But Amy still didn’t seem to want to be around Louis. Every time he was near, Amy’s eyes would grow wary. It struck Joe suddenly: Was Amy responding to Louis this way because he was black? The school in Hell… that playground was filled with only white kids. Any school Amy went to in Hudson was probably the same, and she had left school early to take care of her aunt. Before that, she had been isolated on the Brandt farm. Was it possible the girl had never seen a black man before?

She heard the plink of the piano and looked over at Amy. She was running her fingers lightly over the old ivory keys.

“Amy? Could you come over here, dear?” Dr. Sher said.

Joe looked back at Dr. Sher. “You want to start now?”

Dr. Sher gave her a gentle smile. “No reason to delay. Why don’t you take a seat over by the piano, Joe?”

Amy came forward. Joe rose, and Dr. Sher motioned for Amy to sit down on the settee. Joe retreated to the piano bench.

“I like your piano,” Amy said.

“Can you play the piano?” Dr. Sher asked.

Amy nodded, smiling. “With my feet.”

“Your feet?”

Amy began pumping her feet up and down.

“There is a player piano in the farmhouse,” Joe said from her corner.

“Ah,” Dr. Sher said.

“My legs were too little to reach, but I saw Momma do it,” Amy said.

Dr. Sher leaned forward. “Do you remember much about living on the farm, Amy?

Amy’s feet stopped moving. “Sometimes.”

“Only sometimes?”

“My memory isn’t very good,” Amy said softly. “I can’t always tell the real stuff from the dream stuff.” Her eyes seemed to be searching the doctor’s face. “Do you know what I mean?”

Dr. Sher nodded. “Yes, I do.”

“And sometimes…” Amy’s voice drifted off.

“Go on, dear.”

“Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy.”

She had been speaking so quietly Joe had to lean forward.

“Are you a doctor?” Amy asked suddenly.

Dr. Sher glanced at Joe, then looked at Amy. “Yes, I am.”

“Can you help me get better?” Amy asked.

“I think so,” Dr. Sher said.

Amy sat back in the settee with a sigh. For a second, Joe wondered if she were going into one of her sleep episodes. But Amy just seemed to be deep in thought.

“Can we talk about the dream you had last night?” Dr. Sher asked. “The one about the barn?”

Amy looked up. Then she nodded slowly.

“Did that feel more like a dream or a real memory?” Dr. Sher asked.

“It was the first time I had that one,” Amy said. She suddenly sat up straighter, again searching the doctor’s face. “But I don’t think it was a dream. I think it was real, and I want to remember it better.”

“It might be hard. You were probably very young.”

“I want to remember,” Amy said, her voice growing agitated. “I need to remember so I can help her.”

Joe was waiting for Dr. Sher to say “Your mother,” but the doctor was quiet, studying Amy. Maybe confronting the memory of her mother’s murder was too much to put the girl through right now. Joe was about to suggest that they bring the session to an end when Dr. Sher rose, came over to Joe, and bent low.

“Jake told me that Amy trusts you,” the doctor said quietly.

Joe nodded.

“I might be able to access her memories under hypnosis,” Dr. Sher said. “How do you feel about that?”

Joe was impressed with how Dr. Sher had handled things so far. “I’m okay with it, if Amy is,” she said.

Dr. Sher nodded and went back to sit down next to Amy.

She reached over and took her hand. Amy didn’t resist, didn’t even jump at the contact.

“Would you like me to help you remember things better?” Dr. Sher asked.

Amy nodded quickly.

“Do you know what hypnosis is?”

Amy shook her head.

“It’s like going to sleep but being awake enough to tell me what you are dreaming about.”

Amy looked to Joe and then back at the doctor. “Okay,” she said softly.

“I won’t hurt you.”

“I know,” Amy said.

It took only minutes for Dr. Sher to hypnotize Amy. Joe had thought there would be swinging pendulums and hokey words, but the doctor had used only her voice to coax Amy into a sleep state. Joe had read that certain people were more susceptible to hypnosis than others. And she knew that doctors themselves didn’t even agree on its validity. For every doctor who claimed it was a true altered state of consciousness, there was another to discount it as just heightened focus.

Watching Amy now, lying on the red settee, Joe wasn’t sure what to believe. At least, the girl looked peaceful.

“Amy?”

“Yes?”

“I’d like you to go back to when you were little. Can you remember that?”

“Yes.”

Joe could see the deep and even rise of Amy’s chest through the thin fabric of her T-shirt.

“Where are you?” Dr. Sher asked.

“Farm… in my room. It’s pink.”

Joe remembered Louis describing a bedroom with pink wallpaper.

“Can you see anything else?”

“A kitten. I have a kitten.”

Suddenly, Amy gave out a small cry.

“What is it, Amy?” Dr. Sher asked.

“He killed it.”

“Killed what?”

“My kitten. I found it in the barn, and I wanted to keep it, but when I brought it into the house, he… he…”

“It’s all right, dear. It’s all right.”

For a moment, there was no sound in the room except Amy’s breathing. Gradually, it returned to normal.

“Can you tell me about the barn?” Dr. Sher asked gently.

“The barn,” Amy whispered.

“Can you go into the barn?” Dr. Sher asked. “Can you go there and tell me what you see there?”

The girl’s brows knitted slightly.

“Are you in the barn, Amy?” Dr. Sher prodded.

“I don’t want to go in the barn.”

Joe sat back and stifled a sigh.

“That’s all right,” Dr. Sher said. She glanced over at Joe and gave a subtle shake of her head.

“Ohhhh…”

Joe’s eyes shot to Amy. She had her hands over her face and was moaning.

Dr. Sher leaned closer. “Amy, what is it?”

“No, don’t… no, don’t…” Amy said.

Joe rose from her seat.

“Amy?”

“Momma! Momma! Oh, no… don’t hurt Momma! Stop! Stop!”

“Amy, it’s all right.”

“No! No! I don’t wanna go! I don’t wanna go in the hole!”

Joe came forward quickly. “Get her out of this,” she said.

Dr. Sher looked up. “She needs to go through this.”

Joe turned away.

“Where is he putting you, Amy? What’s the hole?”

“Outside, outside… it smells so bad… dark. And if I cry again, he’ll throw me down the hole. I have to be quiet until Momma comes to let me out. Be quiet…”

And suddenly, Amy fell quiet. Joe looked back. She had brought up her knees and was lying on her side, curled into a ball. Dr. Sher had her hand on Amy’s forehead. She looked up at Joe with questions in her pale blue eyes.

“Doctor?” Joe said quietly.

Dr. Sher turned.

“Can you ask her about the barn again?”

Dr. Sher turned back to Amy. “Amy? Amy, can you hear me?”

“Yes.”

“I need to you go into the barn. Can you go in there?”

Joe had moved closer, and she watched Amy’s face. Her eyelids were fluttering, like she was trying hard to see something.

“What do you see in the barn, Amy?” Dr. Sher asked.

“Horse. Brown horse.”

“Anything else?”

“Cow… just a cow.”

Amy fell quiet. Joe was watching her face for any sign of distress, but there was nothing.

Then a soft sound. Amy was humming. Joe came up to stand behind Dr. Sher’s chair.