Stuart MacBride - Birthdays for the dead

You re a lying bastard: I checked the mail before we left.

He reached into his jacket and pulled out a smart phone, pressed a couple of buttons and held it out. A snapshot filled the shiny screen a homemade birthday card with a photo of Katie on it. Tied to a chair. A gag over her mouth, eyes wide, cheeks streaked with mascara.

I let go of Noah.

I m sorry. Dickie leaned on the windowsill, looking out into the rain.

The lounge stank of cannabis, cigarettes, and armpits. Noah was sobbing in the kitchen the sound seeping through the paper-thin walls as DS Gillis tried to patch the dirty little fucker up before the ambulance got here.

Dr McDonald lowered herself onto the couch next to me, put a hand on my knee. We ll find her.

I ran a thumb over the smartphone s screen, bringing it back to life before it went into sleep mode. Staring into Katie s eyes You can t tell anyone about this.

Ash, it s not

They ll take me off the case. You know that.

Silence.

Dickie sighed. Ash, we can t. She s still alive; it s not her birthday till Monday, there s still time. We need to throw everything we have at finding her.

I can t sit at home and do nothing!

He ran a hand across his face, his back to the room. We can t. You could ve killed that boy

He was screwing my twelve-year-old daughter!

Dr McDonald squeezed my knee, brought her chin up, and stared at Dickie. I was with Detective Constable Henderson the whole time. When we arrived Noah McCarthy had clearly been taking drugs. Ash asked him about Katie and McCarthy flew into a rage. He attacked me. Ash had to intervene.

Dickie shook his head. And the balcony?

McCarthy was obviously confused. He ran out of the flat and tripped. Ash caught him and saved his life. He was pulling him to safety when you arrived.

The only sound was Noah crying in the other room.

Dickie nodded. Stick to your story. No deviation when Professional Standards come asking questions. He turned and perched a buttock on the window ledge. My team s speaking to all of Katie s friends. Then we ll start on her teachers and classmates.

Katie stared at me from the phone s screen. Pleading. Terrified.

I couldn t look any more. We pull Steven Wallace in, and we tear his house apart till we find her.

Dickie glanced at Dr McDonald for a moment. Would you excuse us, Doctor, I need to speak to DC Henderson in private.

She gave my knee another squeeze, then left the room. Closed the door behind her.

He folded his arms. We ve got nothing on Steven Wallace; we need probable cause before we can

Fuck probable cause. He s got Katie.

Ash, I understand: you re hurt, you re upset, you re

You understand? What? What exactly do you understand? On my feet now, trembling. How many daughters have you lost to a serial killer?

She s not He closed his eyes for a moment. Ash, go home: Michelle needs you. Be there for her.

I m not

And stay away from Steven Wallace, he s he s not the only suspect, OK?

I stared back. Who else? Who s a suspect?

Ash, we can t

Who s a fucking suspect? I took a step closer.

You nearly killed Noah McCarthy. What are you going to do if I give you a list of names and addresses: go round and make them a nice cup of tea?

She s my daughter!

Ash, we ll find her. You have to let us do our jobs.

Pretty much the same bollocks I d told Lauren Burges s dad in Shetland. The same bollocks I d been telling myself since Rebecca s first Birthday Boy card slithered through the letterbox four years ago.

I put Dickie s phone down next to the heaped ashtray.

Right. Like you found Lauren Burges, and Amber O Neil, and Hannah Kelly, and

We ll find her. He ran a hand through his greying ginger hair. Trust me on that, Ash. Hell or high water, we ll find her.

Detective Constable Gillis hauled on the handbrake and turned off the engine. The Renault groaned and pinged, rain thudding into the roof, drumming on the bonnet. Pfffff His breath reeked of old cigarettes. The smell got worse when he scratched at his beard. No offence, but your car s a piece of shit.

I held out my hand. Give me the keys.

Dickie s only trying to look out for you.

A scarlet Alfa Romeo sat opposite my Opposite Michelle s house, the driver s window wound down a crack, two figures inside blurred and indistinct through the rain-spattered windscreen. Jennifer and her photographer, Frank.

The Oldcastle CID grapevine strikes again.

Looked as if none of the other media had got wind of it yet: if they had, the whole place would ve been swarming with the bastards. have to do, OK?

I blinked.

Yeah.

Gillis dropped the keys into my open hand. I mean it, anything you need you let me know. Well if I can.

Why?

Gillis sniffed, pursed his lips, making his moustache bristle.

Keep trying to imagine what it d be like if the bastard snatched one of my kids. He shook his head, dirty yellow curls boun-cing around his bald patch, then pointed at the big black BMW pulling up on the other side of the road. If there was any way Dickie could keep you on, he would. You know that, right?

I opened the car door and climbed out into the rain.

He followed me. And don t worry about the Noah McCarthy thing: I saw you trying to save him.

Gillis turned up his collar and hurried through the puddles to the waiting BMW. Dr McDonald peered out from the back seat, fingers spread on the window, biting her bottom lip as the car pulled away from the kerb. Down to the end of the road the brake lights flared, then a right and they were gone.

Cold water trickled down the back of my neck as I stood there, staring after them.

It was too early to pay Steven Wallace a visit. Have to wait till it was dark and he was at home and everyone was asleep. And Dickie would have him under surveillance by now So it wasn t as if I could just march up to the front door and kick it in.

But what if it wasn t him? What if Steven Wallace didn t have a hidden room built into his refurbished wine cellar so he could torture twelve-year-old girls to death?

It wasn t worth the risk.

I looked up at the house.

Dickie was right: I should go in and be with Michelle. Play the supportive ex-husband. Pretend it ll all be OK. Sit in the dark and wait for them to find Katie s body.

I got back in the car and pulled out my phone.

Sabir picked up on the eighth ring. Better be important, I was havin a crap!

I need the names and addresses of every suspect you ve had for the last seven years.

Silence.

Sabir?

Ash I m dead sorry about Katie. But Dickie s been on to all of us: we can t give you nothin. I can t. Look, we re doin our

I hung up. Tried Henry instead.

His mobile rang, and rang, and rang, then went to voicemail.

Henry, it s Ash, I need you to call me back. It s urgent.

The windows were steaming up. I drummed my fingers on the dashboard. Waited.

Tried again. Got the same recording telling me to leave a message after the beep. Hung up.

Fuck! I slammed my palms against the steering wheel. Took a deep breath. FUCK! Fucking, shit-fucking

FUCK! AAAAAAAAAGH! FUCK! Spittle flecked the windscreen.

My throat burned, pulse throbbing in my forehead, little sparks of light glittering behind my eyes.

A knock on the driver s window. I looked up, but the glass was opaque with fog. I wound it down.

It was Jennifer, standing there underneath a black umbrella, all huddled up in her camel-hair coat, eyes pinched. She leaned forwards.

Erm Ash, are you all right?

No comment.

She looked down for a moment. Then back again. I know we Look, it s not important what happened between you and me, is it? What matters is Katie.