T. Parker - The Famous and the Dead

“Belief in what?”

“In yourself and in me. Second, there’s a simple vow. Much like the pledge of allegiance that students used to say at Friday morning assemblies. But it has to be spoken with the aforementioned belief or it means nothing.”

“Lay it on me, the vow.”

“We call it the Declaration of Parity. It goes like this: As the equal of God, I renounce Him. I am the judge of right and wrong and of beauty. I am the author of law. I am man. I am free .”

“That’s all a person has to say?”

“No. Truly believing, and then having declared your parity, you must ask me to be your partner. If I accept, then we are partners. I can’t do the asking. That’s a law of nature, of course, which neither man, devils, angels, nor God can delete or modify in any way.”

“Can I change my mind later and un-partner?”

“Of course. We’re not gangsters! Making up your own mind is what we’re trying to promote. That’s our number one goal, simply stated. So you can change your mind about anything. Though honestly, it’s never happened.”

“Not once?”

“Never to me. My partners have all been very, very successful. I try my best to get to them by age eleven, and I have rigorous standards. The single best prognosticator for success as a partnered human being is ambition. This is where everything begins. Second greatest? Appetites- indulged appetites. Third? Perfectionism. I look for monstrous, gigantic egos linked closely to a sense of entitlement and possessing a simple can-do attitude. I never partner with the mad, I simply won’t. They sadden me. I use them occasionally, but never long-term. I do have associates who haven’t been so fortunate with partners, but we all have different standards. It’s all about judgment and luck. Enough of that, though. We’ll have plenty of time for shoptalk, Bradley, if we decide to do this thing.”

“Who is stronger, the King or the Prince?”

Finnegan looked over at Bradley with a frankly optimistic expression. Then he turned his attention back to the road, which had gone bad by now. He downshifted with a growl from the pipes and guided the truck through the ruts and around the rocks. “The King is stronger and has more angels, but they are not strong enough to defeat us. Think of the contest as elemental: fire and water, or wind and rock. They influence each other endlessly but there is no end to either, no finality.”

“Are angels and devils evenly matched?”

“Very closely matched, pound for pound. We identify one another largely by smell. Very doggy. Close proximity weakens both parties. But as I said, they outnumber us considerably. They’re much better organized. Look at the thousands upon thousands of churches and synagogues and mosques. They provide endless options for contact with men. Endless opportunities for observation and of course persuasion. We’ve got nothing of the sort.”

“Why not set up some Satanic churches?”

“They go nowhere. Because we have no goodies or punishments, no carrots or sticks. We have nothing to offer but freedom. True freedom terrifies most of mankind. They would much rather have specific limits. God commissioned the concepts of heaven and hell through his poets, just for such people. These concepts give you easy-to-understand, obtainable goals. He still commissions them. Propaganda constantly needs to be updated. But there really is no heaven or hell. Thus, we offer no ten commandments except as each man decides them. What we want, finally, is for you not to need us. The final freedom, if you will.”

Bradley studied the foothills around them, dotted by mines and collapsed frames that looked like piles of splinters and great rusted iron contraptions slouching here in the pitiless sun for over a century. Of course he didn’t believe anything Finnegan was saying, but just hearing such blasphemy made the adrenaline flow. He’d never heard a more invigorating symphony of bullshit since some Scientology dweebs cornered him one night in a club where Erin was performing. So now his ears were ringing and his heart beating fast. Tell him what he needs to hear. “What about that night in Baja with the knife? When you cut my palm and yours, and we traded blood?”

“That was the yearning of an old man to enlist the faith of a young man. Sorry. I’d had a nip or three of that tequila while you were out in the pasture, and I was suddenly wildly romantic. But truly, I’ve made blood pacts before and there is something to them. Maybe they’re nothing more than theater. Call me silly and sentimental but I swear. . I feel something when the blood of a fine strong human being meets my own. I feel as if. . as if. . a river has met the sea.”

Alright , thought Bradley, he’s clearly and spectacularly insane . Get what you want from him.

“Don’t think such things,” said Mike. “I can’t help you if you don’t believe in me.”

“How can you do that? Like the Blands? You think you can hear my thoughts?”

“A journeyman devil can hear human thoughts from thirty feet away, so long as those thoughts are clear and emphatic. If a person thinks visually, we get the images too, like watching a TV. Very difficult in a crowded room filled with conversation. Very easy in a vehicle, even one with those wonderful glasspacks I put on this thing. Don’t you love that sound?”

“What else can you do, Mike?”

“Gosh. It’s a pretty modest portfolio, really. We have more physical strength than men. Ask Charlie Hood, but more on him later. Much more on him, as a matter of fact. We have very high levels of energy and don’t need much sleep. Tremendous tolerance to pain. We heal very quickly. But we have only minor powers. For instance, we can cause people to dream certain dreams. We don’t have to be nearby, as with the thoughts. But there are dangers. Because once a dream is inserted, we can’t control a person’s reaction to the dream, so in the early days there were lots of backfires. We rarely do any dream work these days. We can will into being minor temporary ailments such as headaches, itchy skin, nausea. Conversely, we can also induce mild euphoria-a sense of optimism and power-in most people. This euphoria is a common thing during the first months of partnership, though we’re not exactly sure why it is. Some believe it’s something akin to the feelings of purification after baptism, perhaps, or the obscene ecstasies of Pentecostal types. It seems to come from the partners as much as from anything we do. We want our partners just as strong and happy as they can safely be. We discourage sadness and depression in both partners and the general human population-they are counterproductive. We’re not quite immortal, though we are very durable. That’s our greatest strength, really: We last . That’s about it. People think that devils can possess a human, or that we wait for you in fiery pits, or turn into monsters. No. What we mainly do is listen, and talk, and suggest and persuade. We make arrangements. We introduce people to other people, in hope that useful things will result. I told you once that I introduced your mother and father because I wanted a certain you to be born. That is true. And now, here we are, talking about partnership. Partnership with you has been a vision of mine for many years, Bradley, many years before you were born. From Murrieta to Suzanne to you. One of my precious bloodlines. One of my families. Not that your mother was a partner. She really had no interest in the grander forms of mischief. She was a passion of mine because of her history, her line. Murrieta, El Famoso, was a remarkable, phenomenal man. And I saw that she could give him to me again, in you.”

Mike guided the truck up a narrow two-track to a level shelf of tailings. They got out, the tailings aglitter in metallic blues and greens, crunching underfoot like loose jewels. Mike traded out his sweater for a small soft-sided cooler with a strap, which he slung over one shoulder. “It’s a bit of a hike now,” he said.