Stevens Chevy - Never Knowing

“Have you notified their families?”

“Not at this point. We need to be careful how we approach this — they don’t know the Campsite Killer is in contact with someone.”

“After all those calls today, please tell me you have a lead.”

“Not yet.” Her voice was curt. “The calls were getting closer to Cache Creek, moving west of Kamloops. There are a lot of provincial parks in the area, so he’s probably traveling on back roads.”

“Maybe he’s heading back up north?”

“Try not to speculate, Sara.” Her schoolteacher tone was bugging the crap out of me.

“Isn’t that what police work is?”

I was proud of my comeback until she said, “No, it’s a careful analysis of data and facts, then the drawing of a conclusion based on hard evidence.”

“Well, then. Are there any facts or data that might give us an idea of what he does for a living? He seems to be on the road a lot, so I was thinking he could be a truck driver or a deliveryman or—” “All possibilities. I’m about to step into a meeting now. Can I have Billy call you back so you can discuss it further with him?”

“No, I’m fine.” I hung up the phone, frowning. What did I ever do to that woman?

I worked in the shop until it was time to pick up Ally. I was still trying to finish the cherry lamp table, but my heart wasn’t in it. It didn’t help that John’s comment about “rich tones” kept flickering through my brain. Of course he liked the wood — it probably reminded him of blood. I shuddered at the macabre thought. I was used to being away from Evan for long stretches of time, especially during the summer, but it was never easy. Today I missed him terribly and wished I could call him, but he was out on the boat all day.

We’d been talking every night — we had a long call after I found out I was part First Nations. Evan thought it was great. But it was weird knowing Sandy or Billy, or whoever else, could listen whenever they wanted. It was also hard when Lauren and I talked on the phone because she’d say something personal and I knew she was being taped but she didn’t. I usually tried to stick to the subject of our kids or the wedding. But not telling her what was really going on was killing me.

We’d finally made plans to go dress-shopping on Sunday. We were all going to meet at my house in the morning and drive to Victoria in my truck. Lauren was already baking something and I knew she’d have a thermos of coffee. Melanie, well, I was sure she’d bring her attitude. I was hoping like crazy this would be one of the days I didn’t hear from John.

The rest of the afternoon passed quietly and I picked up Ally, who was so burned out she fell into bed after her bath. When I tucked her in she informed me Jake already had two science kits. I felt so bad I told her I’d take some of her friends to a matinee soon, but she said, “You’ll just forget, Mommy.” I swore I wouldn’t, my heart breaking that she doubted me. When I kissed her good night and whispered that I loved her, she didn’t say it back. I told myself she was just tired. Evan called later and we managed to have a nice talk right up until I heard my cell ring.

“Hang on a sec, baby.” I checked the display. “It’s John.”

“Call me back.”

I picked up the cell. “Hello?”

“Sara…” There was a long pause.

I said, “You still there?”

“Did you like the dolls?” He slurred the last words and I wondered if he’d been drinking. In the background I heard traffic.

“Are you driving?”

“I asked you a question.”

It was a phrase my dad used often when I was growing up, guaranteed to make me not want to answer at all, but I said, “Yeah, I like them. I told you that.”

“I wasn’t sure … wasn’t sure you would.” The slurring again.

What do I do with this? I waited him out.

“This is how it should be. Father and daughter … talking.”

“For sure.”

All I heard was breathing.

I said, “It meant a lot to me when you sent the dolls. I know they’re important to you.” I paused, but he was still quiet. “And I like talking to you. You’re an interesting guy.” It killed me to let him believe I liked anything about him.

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely. You have some great stories.”

“Remind me to tell you about the time … I killed a bear with just my.22—only took one shot. Sucker had been tracking me.… Did you know grizzlies will track and kill other bears?”

I was about to answer when a car honked on his end.

“We’ll talk more soon.” He hung up.

I called Evan back and told him what had just happened.

“That’s weird.”

“No kidding. I’m going to Victoria with the girls tomorrow and I don’t know what I’m going to do if he calls.”

“Treat him like you would a normal person — tell him you’re busy.”

“But he’s not a normal person.”

“Let’s talk about something else. How was Ally’s birthday party today?”

“We almost missed it because John called three times this morning — it was awful. And I forgot Jake’s birthday party so we had to get a present on the way there. Ally was so upset.”

“Poor Ally. She feels neglected.”

“Excuse me? Are you saying I’m neglecting my daughter?”

“I didn’t mean it like how you’re about to take it. Let’s not go there.”

“You already took it there, Evan. I feel bad enough without you getting on my case too.”

“I’m sorry I said anything. I know you’re having a hard time.”

We were both silent for a moment. I imagined Sandy in a room somewhere, headphones on, listening to my relationship problems, smiling that condescending smile.

I said, “I appreciate that you’re looking out for me—”

“I am.”

“I know, but I can take care of myself.”

He laughed.

“Hey! I’ve managed just fine for years.”

His voice teased, “Just admit you were a mess before you fell in love with me.” This time I laughed, not even caring if Sandy was listening.

The next morning the girls arrived around nine-thirty, just after I dropped Ally off at Meghan’s. We took my Cherokee and Lauren brought fresh-baked scones and a thermos full of coffee. The drive down was fun, with everyone talking at once and Lauren cracking runaway bride jokes. Melanie was even in a good mood, although we had a close call when she asked to use my cell phone because she’d forgotten hers. When I hesitated she kept looking at me, so I grabbed it out of my purse and handed it over. I was terrified John would call while she was on the phone, but she just made a quick call to Kyle.

The morning flew by as we hit the downtown boutiques. We were planning to have an outdoor wedding, so Evan and I were trying to stick with a natural theme. We found a bridesmaid dress that was perfect. It was this strapless tea-length chiffon in a gorgeous silvery green, almost a sage, like the flat side of fir needles, and it looked great on both girls. After we ordered the dresses we had a late lunch at an Irish pub overlooking the inner harbor. It was nice to have a day when I could just laugh and talk about familiar, everyday things. Normal things. But I forgot my life was anything but normal.

After the girls came back to my place and got their vehicles, I picked up Ally. As soon as we walked into the house I dug my cell phone out of my purse to put it on the charger.

Twenty missed calls.

I scrolled through the list of numbers. They were all from John and Billy. I checked my voice mail, but there was just one message from Billy to call him ASAP, then five hang-ups. Why hadn’t I heard it ring?

I grabbed the cordless and called my cell. It vibrated in my hand. On its side there’s a button that changes it from ring to vibrate, but I hadn’t touched my cell since that morning. It must have gotten bumped in my purse when I dropped my wallet back in.