Chevy Stevens - Always Watching

In all of them, she was alive, she had to be alive.

From the hospital, Aaron insisted that his brother had acted alone, but the police suspected that he’d had a plan in case there was ever a problem. There didn’t seem to be any other valid reason for the commune to have had certain chemicals. He claimed he was devastated by the tragedy, but he was finding comfort in knowing that his members were at peace. I knew it was a lie, that he was not only aware that his brother had a mental disorder, he’d fed his paranoia. He couldn’t stand the idea of the truth coming out, of all his members turning away from him. I saw now that his fear of rejection had shaped everything he’d done all along, building the commune, the family he’d never had, protecting it at all costs, even if that meant destroying it in the end, so he didn’t have to face their abandonment. I was glad that he’d likely spend the rest of his life in jail, rotting in a small cell.

With Joseph possibly still alive and Aaron able to give commands—some members from other countries believed in his innocence—they kept an officer patrolling by my home. They were concerned Joseph might be fixated on punishing me and completing whatever other tasks Aaron had given him. It was a very real fear and one that I shared. I lived in a state of suspense, waiting for something to happen, for Joseph to show up, for Daniel to be caught, for them to find Lisa. I called the police daily, looking for updates.

One of the survivors sold their story to the newspapers, then the others followed suit. When the reporters found out my daughter, a former drug addict, was also presumed to be one of the victims, and that I was a respected doctor, they began to follow me around. “How did you feel when your daughter joined the cult?” “Did you see this coming?” “Do you think she’s still alive?”

After the murders, and facing accusations of being an accomplice, Mary broke down and finally shared her story. She’d known she was pregnant when she left the commune, but had hoped Aaron would never find out. Her parents passed away a few years later, and she inherited a great deal of money. Aaron had seen the obituary. He came up to Shawnigan, demanding a donation, and quickly realized Daniel was his child. He’d allowed Mary to keep him without a custody battle, while she contributed each month to the commune, but he wanted visitations. When Daniel was in his teens, he ran away to live with his father.

When the police investigated further, it became clear that Aaron had made some bad financial decisions and was facing bankruptcy. The land he bought was the final blow, draining the commune’s accounts. Heather’s parents had millions in family money, which is why he’d rushed their murder. When the police checked the commune’s phone records, they discovered that Heather’s parents had called shortly before their death. Joy revealed that Heather’s father had discovered how much money Heather had given to the commune and threatened to sue them for coercion. Joy had passed on the information to Aaron—and the parents’ whereabouts. They’d never been told that Heather was in the hospital.

It was Daniel who had been calling my home and making threats, trying to scare me away from his father and the commune, from everything that he believed in. The police also told me that the member who’d been coming back from horseback riding the day of the fire was Emily—the young girl who Heather had gotten to join the commune. I’d found a small measure of solace in thinking that Heather would be happy Emily had lived, but my own guilt still ate me alive. Morning to night, ghosts whispered in my ear. You set this in motion. You made this happen. Why didn’t you just leave it alone?

I’d pushed against the wind and caused a tornado.

When Robbie was released from the hospital, he stayed with me for a few days; sometimes Kevin would join us, bringing dinner. I took a leave of absence from the hospital. I spent most of those days pacing my house, calling the police, watching the news, and forcing myself to eat the food put in front of me. Then I’d lie inert on the couch, falling into an exhausted sleep. My dreams were filled with images of my searching for Lisa but never being able to get to her in time.

Two weeks after the fire, Aaron was transferred from the hospital to jail, where he’d await trial. There’d been no signs of Joseph, so the police stopped patrolling by my home as often. Desperate to get away from my terrifying thoughts and keep busy somehow, I started to ease back into work. Michelle was a great support. She’d encourage me out into the sun to eat our lunch in the park across the street. Sometimes we’d go for a walk after work to get some fresh air and talk about Lisa. There still hadn’t been any sightings of her either, and though some of the bodies had finally been identified, hers wasn’t one of them.

I decided to talk to Aaron. I wasn’t sure if he’d accept me as a visitor, but I should have known his ego couldn’t stand missing a chance to impart his so-called wisdom. We stared at each other through the glass, the cold phone in my hand. He was pale and washed-out, unshaven. He finally looked his age. My head filled with things I wanted to say, to yell and scream at this man who had caused the death of so many people, who might have killed Lisa. But I had to be careful, calm. He was the only person who could give me any information.

I said, “Where’s my daughter?”

He shrugged. “Where are any of us? The universe is infinite, Nadine.”

His casual response infuriated me. I leaned forward, almost touching the glass, forgetting my vow to be calm. “Don’t give me any more of your bullshit. Was she still at the commune? Did she leave before the fire?”

He was silent, a serene smile on his face. He was not going to answer. I wanted to cry in helpless rage. He knew. He knew exactly what happened to her. It was the last thing he had over me, the last bit of power. But I had power too.

“Your brother is dead, Aaron.” I bit out the words, my voice harsh and unforgiving. We didn’t know if that was true, but I wanted to shake him up, hurt him like he’d hurt me. He didn’t even flinch. Did he know something?

I added, “He was the only family you had, the only person who loved you. Soon, your remaining members are going to lose interest, will find someone else to believe in, not a lonely old man sitting behind bars.”

He was still calm as he said, “There are others who want to learn how to change their lives.” He looked around. “There are many here who need my help.”

My voice turned cold. “You’re forgetting something, Aaron. Once you’re sentenced, you’re going to prison. And when the inmates find out that you like to molest little girls, you’re the one who’s going to need help. You’re the one who’s going to be screaming alone in the dark, begging them to stop. But they won’t.”

He still held his smile in place, but I saw the fear in his eyes. It was all I needed.

I hung up the phone.

Garret was arrested. When the police had gone to talk to him, one of his clients, a young girl, had seen them at the studio. Later, she told her mother that he’d taken nude photos of her before, and she wondered if she was in trouble. The mother reported him, and others soon followed suit. When they searched his home, they found vials of GHB and naked photos he’d taken of other homeless females while they appeared to be drugged. He’d obviously enjoyed the sense of power he had over a woman who was out of her mind, posing them however he wanted, usually in a degrading manner. They also found more photos of Lisa on his hard drive. I hoped Lisa knew her abuser was finally going to pay for his crimes.