Chevy Stevens - Always Watching

Mary flinched, her face terrified, but didn’t say anything.

Daniel said, “What are you going to do with her? Can’t we let her go?”

Aaron said, “Her fear is blocking her from seeing the truth. She’ll ruin everything we’ve worked for, all the good we’ve done. Joseph. It’s time. ”

Joseph reached for me. I kicked out, but he spun me around and pinned both my arms behind my back. I twisted and turned, rearing against him, slamming my head back, hoping to fracture his nose, but he dodged at the last moment. I struggled to break his hold, but nothing was working.

My breath came out in hard gasps.

I tried to calm down. If I broke free now, I’d get trapped in the house in minutes. If he was going to take me outside, I had a better chance of making a run for it. There was thick forest behind Mary’s place, and I’d have cover if they started firing. But first, I had to get away.

Joseph began to drag me to the door. I struggled, but I was biding my time. Aaron followed behind with the gun. Daniel put his hands to his head, like he couldn’t believe what was happening, and turned back to his mother, who was now sobbing. Daniel spun back around and followed us, but he looked panicky.

I said to Aaron, “Is this how you do it? You make your brother do your dirty work?”

Aaron said, “The Light wants me to use whatever tools are available to share his word. Sometimes his message flows through my aides.”

Then it came to me. “You didn’t kill Willow; you made Joseph do it.” I could see it now, the missing piece. Joseph back early from the walk, Aaron whispering in his ear, the dark and twisted thoughts, sending paranoid words into his head, feeding his fear, and unleashing him on Willow.

Aaron calmly said, “My brother’s on his own spiritual path.”

“You know he’s sick.” It all fit into place. “You knew what to say, so that he’d go after her.” Could I also manipulate Joseph somehow?

Joseph twisted my arms again, dragged me another couple of feet.

I gasped from the pain, trying to focus. No, Joseph was too loyal to his brother. I had to work on Daniel. It was my only chance.

“Daniel, he’s murdered another girl before, and he’s going to murder me. You’ll be an accomplice.”

Aaron sounded annoyed as he kept moving us toward the door. “Don’t believe anything she says. She’s trying to distract you.”

Daniel was still following, but his face was desperate and stricken, like he didn’t know what to do or how to stop the events from unfolding.

We stumbled down the steps, the backs of my heels hitting each one. At the bottom, Joseph spun me around, then marched me toward the barn. Terror, loud and violent, began to shriek in my head. Was he going to kill me now? He tripped on a rock, and his grip loosened. I twisted hard and elbowed him in the gut, finally breaking his hold. I ran as fast as I could, my lungs screaming.

Go, go, go.

A body slammed into my back, and I hit the ground hard, my teeth going into my bottom lip. My mouth filled with the metallic taste of blood. Joseph pulled me up. I reared backward, connecting with his chin, sending a jolt of pain down my neck and spine. He grabbed me in a bear hug from behind, squeezing until I started to feel faint. Then he forced me toward the barn, my heels dug futilely into the ground, trying to slow the process, but I was off balance, being propelled backward. Helpless and grunting with exertion, I tried to get some air back in my lungs, breathing in big, panicky gasps. We were almost at the gate.

When we reached the barn, my entire system went into survival mode and I struggled like a wild animal caught in a net. Joseph grunted a couple of times as my blows connected, but he still didn’t let go. I stepped down hard on his instep, gouging and biting at his wrists—fighting for my life. He almost dropped me again, and I managed to get one hand onto the barn gate, my nails tearing as he tried to pull me away. Aaron smacked my wrist with the butt of his gun. Pain shot up my arm and exploded behind my eyeballs. I screamed. Joseph slapped a hand down over my mouth and dragged me the rest of the way into the barn.

My body was paralyzed with terror now. My heart beating so hard in my chest I thought I might pass out. I could no longer fight. I was going to die.

We were at a door. Aaron opened it. It was dark inside, looked like a small storage room. The smell of stale horse feed and mold wafted out. Joseph force-walked me into the dark. I came back to life. My body heaving and jerking. I kicked up and out, braced my legs on the sides of the door. Now both their hands were on me, and they thrust me into the room. I fell onto the floor, my knee cracking on concrete. In front of me, there was a small freezer, not much bigger than me, old and covered with rust spots and filth. Joseph picked me up, holding me while Aaron lifted the lid on the bin. I fought in Joseph’s arms, my breath panting out. Aaron grabbed my legs, and they dumped me into the freezer. I landed on a pile of grain, my body sinking into it slightly, my knees bent.

The lid was closing. I slammed my fists into it. “ Let me out of here. ”

Sounds from the outside. Aaron’s voice, “Where’s the padlock?”

Daniel, his voice hollow and shocked, “Why are you putting her in there?”

Aaron’s voice, “Joseph, just put the pitchfork in the latch.”

Another noise, something scraping against the side of the freezer.

I hit my hands repeatedly on the lid, kicked up with my feet. Finally, I paused, my breath jerking out of me in angry sobs. How was I going to get out?

On the other side, Aaron’s muffled voice said, “Daniel, go back to the house. It will be okay—we’ll let her out when she’s released her fear.”

I yelled, “You’re lying. You’re never going to let me out. The police know I’m here—I called them on my way. They’ll be here any minute.”

Aaron spoke at the corner of the lid, his voice so close I jumped in the dark. “Now you’re the one lying.”

I heard a few rustles on the other side, then footsteps walking away.

I was alone.

As soon as they left, I hit and pushed up at the lid with my hands over and over and over. The plastic on the inside was old and brittle, breaking in places as I hit it. I peeled some off, ripping the insulation out, and pushed up on the metal of the lid. I still couldn’t break through it. I also tried to use my feet to kick up, but I couldn’t get enough force. Finally, my body bruised and battered, I had to rest, gulping for air, almost hyperventilating. The darkness pressed in, squeezing all the air out of my body. My legs were vibrating, my heart whooshing in my ears. The world tilted sideways and I thought I might pass out. Then I remembered.

We’re in the field, picking huckleberries, while everyone else is on a walk. The air smells dense and heavy with heat. I’m wearing shorts and a loose T-shirt, but the sweat makes it stick to my body. I keep pulling it away from my front, not liking the way Aaron’s looking at me. My hands are stained red with berries, and I try to wipe them on my shorts. He’s watching me, and says, “I want to meditate.”

The berries I’ve eaten churn in my stomach, their sweet taste now bitter in my mouth. I know what he really wants.

I say, “I don’t want to do that anymore.”

“Don’t you care about your mom?”

“You’re not helping her. She’s getting worse again.” In the last couple of weeks, she’d been moody and quiet, sleeping in her cabin all day, barely eating.

He says, “In our meditations, she said that she’s been thinking about killing herself again. I’ve been talking her out of it, healing her. But maybe I don’t want to do that anymore either. Maybe she’d be happier on the other side.”