Chevy Stevens - Always Watching

“Do you know how he might’ve been able to do that?” I had my suspicions, but I wanted to see what she thought.

“There are cameras in every room—even the bathrooms.” I flashed to Heather’s reaction to the cameras at the hospital, now understanding. “He says it’s so we let go of our inhibitions. Some of the members knew spots on the grounds, or in buildings, where they could talk in private, but he still found out what they’d said. He said he could read their energies, but I think he just had spies.”

He probably did. I remembered Aaron’s uncanny way of always knowing who was wavering or spreading doubt. That person would be singled out by Aaron in the next cleansing ceremony, forced to confess, then ignored for a few days. A couple of days later another member would be given special privileges.

She said, “If someone was talking about leaving, he’d be really upset.”

“Upset how?” My mind filled again with the image of Joseph kicking that man on the ground, the machete coming down while Mary struggled.

“He’d take the member into his office, meditating with them and talking to them for hours and hours, until they’d agree to stay. He’d also have other members talk to them—sometimes people could be really mean. They used a lot of guilt, like saying that you wouldn’t get to see the people you love on the other side after you die. If a member ever did leave, they’d call them nonstop.”

“What happens to members if they break a rule?”

“Usually we just weren’t allowed to talk to people, even if they were standing right beside you. Or they had to get an adjustment.”

“What’s an adjustment?”

“Sometimes it was just talking with Aaron, but if he didn’t think you were getting the message, you had to go for a full adjustment. They had these electrical things that sent currents through your brain and cleared you out. They said it’s like you get cysts, where energy gets trapped in your cells, and it disrupts your health and your thinking, so you have to break it up, then release it.”

It sounded like he was experimenting with some sort of biofeedback or brain-wave system.

Tammy said, “That wasn’t so bad, but then it got worse.” She looked over at her son. “He started putting people underground.”

At first I thought I’d heard wrong. “I’m sorry, did you say—”

“He has isolation chambers built under the center. He doesn’t let you out until you’ve surrendered to your fears and let go of your past.”

My body stiffened, horror at her words, and something else, an uncomfortable feeling that I wanted to escape from, but I didn’t know what was causing the unease. I took a breath, stayed in the present. “Doesn’t anyone refuse?” I knew how closed off cults could become, how over time members could, and did, tolerate numerous abuses at the hands of their leaders, but I was still surprised so many people went along with Aaron’s crazy ideas.

“People said that the adjustment really helped them—and they did seem happier after. Some people would pay so they could go through it again. They have a special area in the basement called the Adjustment Room.”

“What about the other chambers? Where are they?”

“In the basement too, but I never saw one. Only the senior members and the office staff can go there without permission. Everyone else has to wait for Aaron to decide if they’re ready. It’s a privilege to enter the Isolation Chambers.”

“I thought it was punishment?”

“It was at first, but then a couple of the members who’d gone through it said they left their body and had visions, like of their spirit selves and stuff.”

It sounded to me like they were having autoscopic hallucinations. “How long did he keep them down there?”

“Sometimes for days. And they weren’t allowed food or anything.”

Which would explain their visions, but he must be able to get air to them somehow.

Tammy said, “Now people beg to go down. He uses it as a reward—but he says that he’s the only one who can communicate with the other side. What everyone else sees is just a window, but he can open the door.”

I shook my head, stunned at how far Aaron’s mind control had spread, wondered if it had increased in other ways. “Does he still hold Satsang?”

“Yeah. Every week he has new chanting sequences and we had to memorize them. He also makes video podcasts, for when he’s away. We weren’t allowed personal computers—there are just the ones that the office staff uses to run things. So they’d play them for us on a big screen in the meditation room.”

“I heard that they also have a store?”

She nodded. “Near downtown. They sell organic food, books, CDs, and jewelry. That’s where people can also sign up for retreats. Sometimes they give out food. That’s how we meet a lot of homeless people and street kids.”

Tammy was warming up, looking visibly relieved to be sharing her experience. “He doesn’t do many personal vibrational-healing meditations anymore, only for people he has a vision about. But there are speakers in the rooms, so he can talk to us. Sometimes he’d come to the kids’ school and lead us in chants. He said our minds were more pure and open to the earth’s vibrations.”

I thought of children clustered around Aaron, kneeling at his feet. Then I remembered kneeling before him, his hand pushing down the back of my head.

Tammy was watching me. It took a moment for me to find my voice again and gather my thoughts. The next part was going to be difficult.

“There was something else that I wanted to share with you today.” I cleared my throat, took a sip of my coffee. “Aaron… he also sexually abused me when I was a child.” Tammy’s eyes widened. I continued. “He convinced me that I had to let him do things to me, or my mother would get sick. When I remembered what he’d done, I started getting concerned that there could be more girls….”

For a minute, I thought Tammy might cry, but she focused on her son, blinking hard, trying to regain control.

“He told me that I was special and that he could help my family,” she said. “But I couldn’t tell anyone. It had to be our secret.”

I nodded, feeling a mixture of sadness and anger, over our lost innocence, at how he’d abused our trust. Everything she was saying all too real and familiar.

She said, “He also said that if I didn’t help him, he wouldn’t treat my parents or sister anymore, and they could get cancer.”

So he was still using the threat of illness to manipulate people. After already watching their brother die, it would’ve been a powerful motivator. My voice gentle, I said, “Did you ever tell your parents about the abuse?”

“We tried, but they didn’t believe us. They said it was an honor to have a private healing with him.” Her eyes filled with tears again.

“I’m so sorry, Tammy.” It was a sad fact that many parents didn’t want to believe their children in these cases, especially if it involved another family member or a respected member of the community.

“I know they’re just messed up, because of him, and because our brother died, but I don’t know how you can’t believe your own kid.” She looked again at her son. “If anyone hurt Dillon, I’d kill them.” Tammy turned back to me. “Joseph found us after we went to the police.”

So Joseph was still alive. I wanted to ask about his position at the center, and his mental health, but Tammy answered that question with her next sentence.

“Something was wrong with him. He’d always been kind of creepy, but he was ranting, saying crazy stuff. Like that if we didn’t recant our stories, the Light was going to punish us. We were scared he was going to hurt us, so we told the police we’d made it up. Nicole was still freaked-out and went back.”