Stephen Leather - True Colours

‘Good lad. Everything OK?’

‘Sure. I’ve got a match on Saturday against a team from Rugby. That’s ironic, isn’t it? Football against Rugby?’

‘Good luck with it.’

‘Is there any chance you could get to see it?’ asked Liam.

‘I’d love to, Liam, but I’ve got a job in London. I’ve got to be there every day.’

Shepherd’s stomach lurched when he saw the look of disappointment on Liam’s face. ‘Soon as the job’s done, I’ll come and see you.’

‘It’s OK, Dad. No problem.’

‘I’ve got to be here twenty-four-seven pretty much,’ said Shepherd.

‘Really, it’s OK. Hey, there’s something I want to ask you.’

‘Sure. Go ahead.’

‘What would you think if I wanted to join the army?’

Shepherd laughed. ‘You’re only sixteen.’

Liam raised his eyebrows and looked at him with the withering contempt that had become a feature over the past year or so. ‘I know that,’ he said. ‘I meant when I finish school.’

‘I was sort of hoping you’d go to university.’

‘You didn’t go.’

‘I went. I just didn’t finish.’

‘You studied economics at Manchester University. But you never sat your finals because you joined the army.’

Shepherd couldn’t help but smile. Liam would make a great interrogator. ‘Things were different when I was a teenager,’ said Shepherd. ‘These days employers expect you to have a degree.’

‘OK, I could sign up after I go to university. In fact the army will pay for me to get my degree.’ He looked excited and he was nodding as he spoke, trying to encourage Shepherd to agree with him.

‘What’s brought this on?’ said Shepherd. ‘You’ve never mentioned this before.’

‘We had a careers talk today from a captain in the Royal Marines and it got me thinking, that’s all.’

‘Why was a Royal Marines captain talking at your school?’

‘He’s an old boy. But he was there as part of our careers talks. We’ve had all sorts of people in, trying to persuade us that they’ve got the best job in the world.’

‘You know that the Marines are part of the navy, not the army.’

Liam rolled his eyes again. ‘Yes, Dad, I’m not a complete moron.’

‘No, I’m just saying, a military career is one way to go, but you need to give some thought to what branch of the service you want to go into. But it’s a tough life, Liam. It’s bloody hard work.’

‘But it’s fun, right? And you get to travel.’

‘Most of the travel these days is to Afghanistan and Iraq,’ said Shepherd. ‘And trust me, there’s not much fun in those places.’

‘But what else am I going to do, Dad? Sit in an office? Or more likely sit on the dole. At least in the army I get to have a career.’

‘It’s not as secure as it used to be. They’re letting a lot of people go.’

Liam pulled a face. ‘I thought you’d be more enthusiastic.’

‘Like I said, you’re only sixteen. You’ve plenty of time ahead of you.’

‘Not that much time, Dad. I have to start deciding about university next year. And the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of being in the army. Maybe flying helicopters.’

‘Again, they’re cutting back on the number of helicopters.’

‘God, you’re being so negative.’ Liam threw up his hands and sat back. ‘I knew it’d be a waste of time talking to you.’

Shepherd took a deep breath. He always found it difficult talking to his son over Skype. ‘I’m not trying to be negative,’ he said. ‘I just don’t think you want to rush into something like this.’

‘I’m not rushing, I’m considering my options. That’s what the careers teacher says we should be doing. Dad, you were a soldier. Why are you so against me doing the same?’

‘I think you need to go to university. It was different when I was a kid, not everyone went. It wasn’t unusual to start work at eighteen. Hell, some of my friends started work at sixteen. But these days a degree is the norm and you’ll be left behind if you don’t have one.’

‘But having a degree doesn’t mean you’ll get a job. There are plenty of graduates on the dole.’

Shepherd nodded. His son was right, of course. But with all that was happening to the country’s armed forces, he didn’t think a military career would be a smart move for Liam. And like any father, he didn’t like the idea of his son being in the firing line. ‘This captain, what did he say that made it sound so attractive?’

Liam wrinkled his nose. ‘He said it was a worthwhile career. That you were doing something for the country. Something to be proud of. Most people work for themselves, they do a boring nine-to-five job just to have money. But if you’re serving your country you’re doing something important.’

‘Well, that’s certainly true,’ said Shepherd.

‘He said that every day was different, that you never got into a routine. That the job challenged you and stretched you.’

‘Again, that’s true. But there’s a lot of waiting around. But he’s right, every day is different.’

‘And you get to travel.’

‘You don’t need to be in the army to travel,’ said Shepherd. ‘But OK, if you’re really interested then I can put you in touch with people in different branches of the services. And next time we’re in Hereford you can come into Stirling Lines and talk to some of the guys there.’

‘I don’t want to be in the SAS, Dad.’

‘Why do you say that?’

‘I don’t think I’d be good enough.’

‘Rubbish,’ said Shepherd. ‘If you want to be a soldier I’ll make sure you’re the best darn soldier there is.’

Liam laughed. ‘I’m not running around with a rucksack full of bricks on my back,’ he said.

‘It builds stamina,’ said Shepherd. ‘But seriously, if you’re thinking about it then let’s go and talk to some people, see what your options are. But I want you going to university first. That way if the army thing doesn’t work out you’ve got something to fall back on.’

‘That’s cool,’ said Liam. He looked at his watch. ‘I’ve got to go, Dad. I’ve got to finish this maths.’

‘You take care,’ said Shepherd. ‘And good luck with the match.’

He ended the call and closed his laptop. He lay back on the sofa, picked up the television remote and flicked through the channels, looking for something to watch. Part of him was pleased that Liam wanted to follow in his footsteps, but he was very aware of what his mother would have said if she had been alive. Sue had been no great fan of the army and there was no way that she would have agreed to Liam signing up. The Royal Marines captain had been right about military service — it was worthwhile and it was exciting, and Shepherd had relished the buzz he’d always had in combat, the knowledge that it was kill or be killed and that every breath could be your last. But it was one thing to experience the adrenalin rush for yourself and quite another to know that your child was in mortal danger. Shepherd wasn’t sure how he’d be able to cope with the knowledge that his son was in a combat zone and that at any moment there could be a knock on his door and two men in uniform would be there to break the bad news. He shuddered. For the first time in his life he had an inkling of what it must have been like for Sue when he was away. Time and time again she’d begged him to quit the SAS and get a job where he’d be closer to home and where she wouldn’t be lying awake at night fearing the worst. He’d told her that it was just a job and that it was no more dangerous than driving a cab or stocking shelves in a supermarket. That had been a lie, of course, and she’d known it. Shepherd had loved being in the SAS, though it was only once he’d left that he was able to admit to himself that he had been addicted to the adrenalin rush of putting his life on the line. He closed his eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Sue,’ he whispered.