Paul Cleave - The Laughterhouse

He shrugs and looks over at me. “At the least,” he says, “but after seeing that I don’t see how I can keep my job,” he says. “That was Stevens on the phone earlier. He said he has no option but to suspend me. He said any further action isn’t up to him, but yeah, somebody has to fall on their sword, right? And it’s going to be me.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell him.

“Yeah, well, you don’t need to be. You’re the one who told me at the time I was fucking up. I just didn’t listen.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“What have you learned from Tabitha?”

“Carl. .”

“What am I supposed to do? Go home and do nothing?”

“Exactly.”

“Maybe you’re right, and tomorrow we’ll know for sure, but right now we still have one missing girl and her father and no way to find them. Then tomorrow-yeah, tomorrow is a new day, huh? Remember this morning at the morgue? Remember what I said about maybe it being time to move on? Hell, could be this is for the best.”

He stands up and steps past me. I follow him to the bedroom where Tabitha is finishing up with the diaper change. Cole left behind the diaper bag.

“Tell us what happened tonight,” Schroder says.

She hands Octavia a small teddy bear, and Octavia throws it away from her and then crawls after it. Tabitha sits on the edge of the bed and starts telling us. Octavia picks up the bear, brings it back, and hands it to Tabitha. Tabitha hands it back to Octavia, who throws it again, then crawls off after it.

Tabitha tells us she was reading a book when there was a knock at the door. She answered it. Caleb Cole wanted somewhere he could stay for a day or two. She told him he couldn’t stay there.

“Did he say why he came to you for help?” Schroder asks.

“My guess is he’s desperate, and he thought Tabitha would be on his side,” I say.

Tabitha is looking at me carefully. We both know Cole came to her because of what she did to Victoria Brown. Schroder sees the look, then gives me a similar one.

“I told him to leave the girls and their dad with me, and he said no,” Tabitha says, drawing our attention back to her. She’s a confident talker, no pauses, no backtracking. “He asked if I would call the police, and I said yes. In the end we came up with a deal. He said if I took some sleeping pills, he would leave one of the children with me. He knew my girlfriend would be home tomorrow. I took the deal. It was either that, or he walked out with both children.”

“You saw him the once in jail,” Schroder says. “Why?”

She looks surprised, and I feel surprised. Sometime in the last few hours Schroder must have checked Cole’s visitation records.

“Why? It’s hard to say,” she says, “and, well,” and now the pauses are there, her comfortable way of talking a lot less comfortable. “I felt bad for him. Of course I did. He killed the man that hurt me, and I. .” she pauses and her pause backs up what she said about it being hard to say.

“You thanked him?” Schroder asks.

“Umm. . no. . not really,” she says, shaking her head. Schroder raises his eyebrows at her. She carries on. “Well, okay, maybe I did. He’s suffered more than you’ll ever know,” she says.

“Tell us about his plans for Dr. Stanton,” I say. “Did he mention him much?”

She pauses, her eyes shift up and to the left, and she’s remembering something that happened. I look at Schroder and he looks at me and we both wait. It takes her a few seconds, but she gets there. “This is weird,” she says, “but the thing is, he said he isn’t planning on hurting Dr. Stanton.”

I move forward, and Schroder does the same thing. Octavia picks up the teddy bear and throws it further, then chases after it. “What makes you say that?” I ask.

She slowly starts to nod. “He said he was going to let him go. He promised he wasn’t going to hurt any of them.”

“Did he tell you what he meant by that?” Schroder asks.

She shakes her head. “I believe him too. He’s got no reason to lie. I mean, why would he? And he held up the promises he made me tonight.”

Schroder is shaking his head now too. “Doesn’t make sense,” he says.

I start nodding. We all have our heads moving, just not in the same direction or at the same speed. “I agree. There’s just no way he’s going to let Stanton go.”

“He’s going to,” she says, and she really believes it, nodding firmly now. “Also, he said something else. He said he wanted Dr. Stanton to walk in his shoes for a while.”

“That’s why he’s pretending to kill the children,” I say.

“But when he lets him go,” Schroder says, “Stanton is going to find out he’s been lied to. It doesn’t make sense. It’s a lot of effort to go to to make the doctor think his kids are dead for only a matter of hours.”

Before now, it made sense because we thought Cole was putting Stanton through this in order to kill him. But if he lets him go. . Schroder is right, it doesn’t line up.

I realize I’m still shaking my head. So is Schroder.

“He’s going to let him go,” Tabitha says, and she says it so calmly and so positively that it’s hard not to believe she’s right.

“And then what?” Schroder asks.

“And then, well, then I think he’s going to kill himself.”

I look at Schroder and he’s giving me the same look back.

“He told you that?” I ask.

“He said all he has to live for is justice, and once he has it, there’s nothing left. I asked him if he was going to kill himself and he said no, but he also said he won’t go back to jail.”

“And you didn’t believe him,” I say, setting up the next question for Schroder.

“No. I could tell he was lying.”

“Then what makes you so sure he’s been honest about everything else?” Schroder asks.

She looks back down at her hands. “I could just tell,” she says.

“Because in your life you’ve spent two hours with him,” Schroder says.

“I just don’t know what else to tell you,” she says, sounding frustrated.

We step back out into the hallway and Tabitha goes back to playing with Octavia. Detective Kent wanders down to join us.

“Anything useful?” she asks.

“Not much,” Schroder says, and fills her in.

“What do you think?” I ask, directing the question at both of them. “He wants to die?”

Kent shrugs. “It wouldn’t exactly be a surprise.”

“I don’t know,” Schroder says. “Let’s call Barlow and get his take on it.”

I lean against one hallway wall and Schroder leans against the other one, and suddenly I’m aware that I’ve hardly slept in two days. I feel like sinking down into the floor.

Barlow answers on the third ring. He’s still at the station, still talking to Melanie and her mother, trying to mend fences that I can’t imagine ever being mended.

“First things first, Detectives,” he says. “Good job on getting the girl back.”

“It’s not over,” I tell him.

“I know it’s not over, but you have to acknowledge a victory when you have one.”

“I’d rather celebrate when. .”

“Yes, yes, of course, when everybody is back safe. But let yourself be proud of what has just happened here, Theo. You’ve gotten another of the girls back. Take heart in that. You need to let these moments drive you more than the dark ones.”

We update Barlow. He says nothing as we talk, just absorbing the information until we’re finished.

“Makes sense,” he says. “Whatever he has in mind, he probably figures once it’s done he has nothing left to live for. I’ve been thinking about what we spoke about earlier, about trying to use the media against him. Perhaps, if the media hasn’t reported you’ve found Octavia, we can use this situation somehow. I should know more once I read those letters.”