Paul Cleave - The Cleaner

“Impossible.”

Sally shakes her head. She’s probably wondering how she could have got things so wrong over the last few months. I’m thinking the same thing. I drop the cat food, pull the gun from my pocket, and pull Sally toward me, my fingers looping over her crucifix and shirt. I point the gun at the side of her head. She cries out, but says nothing.

“You’ve got the wrong man,” I say, talking in my Slow Joe accent.

I push the weapon hard against Sally’s skull. Somebody screams at me to put it down, to put it down, but they’re still too far away to stop me. Unless they shoot. And they won’t shoot, will they? I’m Joe. Everybody likes Joe. And I figure some of them probably like Sally too. I tighten my grip. I can’t face spending the rest of my life in prison. I can’t face that at all. Because that’s what’ll happen. They’ll see the gun I’m holding belonged to Calhoun. They’ll search my apartment. They’ll find my knives. They’ll find the videotape I made with Melissa. There’s no way I can Slow Joe my way out of that one. No way at all.

“Put the gun down,” Schroder says. I’ve never seen him look so mad. So. . cheated.

“You put your guns down,” I respond. “Or I’m going to shoot her.”

“We’re not putting them down. You know that, Joe,” he says, trying to sound calm, but being betrayed by the slight tremor in his voice. “You know we can’t risk letting you go. Just put the gun down and nobody here has to be hurt.”

Schroder’s a moron if he thinks I’m going to put the gun down. I wish Melissa were here. She would know what to do. Or Mom.

“I’m Slow Joe,” I say, but nobody answers. “I’m Joe!” I shout.

They can’t do this to Joe. I’m one of them.

But they are doing it. They’re in control here, and that’s the last thing I want. Why are they so confident I’m their man? The answer suddenly hits me. My fear of what they’ll find if they search my apartment has already come true. Sally said they were here on Friday night. They’ve already found the tape. Found the knives. Found the folders and the audio tapes.

There’s nothing I can do here. No way for me to gain the upper hand, unless. .

The idea doesn’t jump out of nowhere, because it’s always been there, a plan B always hiding in the depths, just waiting for the opportunity to jump out and kick me in the ass. Jesus, it’s still possible to regain control, but it’s the worst fucking way imaginable. Still, it’s either that or spend the rest of my life in prison. It’s a decision I need more time to consider, but I don’t have more time. I don’t have anything. Other than a gun.

The men are only a few yards away now, all their guns pointing at me. I decide to take away their control. I decide to make this all about Joe. I shift the gun from Sally’s head to my own. I dig it under my chin so the barrel points upward. Sally gasps when she sees what I’m doing. Nobody else does. I think of Melissa. I’m going to miss her. I would have thought having control would make me feel stronger for these few seconds, but it doesn’t.

“Put down the gun,” somebody else screams, but I don’t.

“Please, Joe. Please, we can help you,” Sally says, but if she had any clue at all she would know that nobody can help me now.

I’m Joe. Slow Joe. I’m the Christchurch Carver. I’m the one who calls the shots. I’m the one in control. I’m the one who decides who lives and dies.

My legs feel weak. I feel like I want to be sick.

Well, live and learn.

I suck in a deep breath, close my eyes, and squeeze all the way on the trigger.

Police Confirm “Melissa” Link to New Murder

Police have confirmed that the officer found dead in a central city park four days ago is a likely victim of Christchurch’s Uniform Killer.

“We have evidence to believe that this new murder, of Officer William Sikes, is related to the three others that are already linked with the woman calling herself ‘Melissa,’ ” said Detective Inspector Carl Schroder, who is leading the investigation.

In all four cases, the victims were law-enforcement figures. Two of them were security guards whose bodies were naked when discovered by members of the public, and their uniforms were missing from the scene. The body of Melissa’s first alleged victim, Detective Inspector Robert Calhoun, has never been found, but a video of a woman killing him was found at the home of cleaner Joe Middleton, whose trial for the Christchurch Carver murders is set for next month.

The trial date depends on Middleton’s continuing recovery from wounds sustained during his arrest. Witnesses told the Christchurch press that he was holding a gun to his head when an unnamed woman knocked it and he fired into his face, resulting in injuries that were serious but not life threatening.

Police have interviewed Middleton, but gained few leads in their hunt for Melissa, whose name is believed to be a pseudonym. The woman had been helping with their investigation days before Middleton’s arrest for the Christchurch Carver killings. Detective Inspector Schroder will not comment further, other than to say that she was a key witness.