Simon Lelic - The Child Who

Leo swallowed. He faced his monitor. For no other reason than to escape his reflection, he turned the computer on. Something clicked, whirred, and Leo was content while he waited just to sit. He felt his focus begin to smear and that was fine too because it meant the world, temporarily, softened.

The machine chimed. It was waiting for his password. Leo allowed himself to be entranced for a moment by the blinking cursor, then reached one finger to the letter e.

‘Excuse me. Alan?’

‘Leo. What’s up, buddy?’

‘I was just…’ Leo pointed to his workstation. ‘I was looking for some files. From the Daniel Blake case. I thought I’d left them on my desk but… Would someone have moved them, do you know?’

‘The Blake case?’ Alan made a face as though Leo had lost his mind. ‘Is that why you’re… I mean…’ He recovered himself. ‘Howard might have them. Or, um, Terry.’ He twisted away as he said the name, perhaps hoping that Leo would not quite catch it. He tipped his head towards Howard’s office. ‘Howard’s in with Jenny, running through some paperwork, but Terry – ’ he leant to see the clock on the office wall ‘ – Terry should be back any—’

‘Leo?’

‘Ah!’ said Alan, gesturing. He beamed at Leo and then sank into his chair, immediately busying himself with something – anything – from his in-tray.

Terry was hauling at his scarf as he drew close. His head was set at an angle, in part because the scarf seemed to be forcing it that way but as though he were wary, too, that Leo might be an apparition. He offered his hand, cautiously, and Leo took it.

‘Leo? What are you doing here? We thought you’d be… well…’ Terry’s eyes caught on something at Leo’s shoulder. Leo’s chair? ‘How are you though?’ Terry said. ‘And… er… Mandy? Your wife. How are you both coping? Have you heard any—’

‘We’re fine. Thank you, Terry.’

Terry took a moment to consider Leo’s response. ‘Good,’ he said. ‘That’s… er…’

‘I was just asking Alan,’ Leo said. ‘About the Blake files. I wondered whether you might know where I could find them.’

Terry was halfway out of his jacket. ‘The Blake files?’ He glanced at Alan but Alan’s eyes leapt for safety. ‘They’re on my desk, Leo.’ Terry smoothed his jacket over his arm. ‘Most of them, anyway. The rest are with Howard.’ His tone was kind but overly so.

‘I see,’ Leo said. ‘May I have them back?’

It was a joke, Terry seemed to think, with a punchline that had gone over his head. ‘Have them back?’ He turned to Alan, half laughed. ‘Why would you want them back?’

Leo did not return Terry’s smile. ‘They’re my files. It’s my case.’

‘But you’re… You’ve been…’

‘I’ve been gone a fortnight. Not even that. And the arraignment’s not until Friday.’

‘Yes. But. Leo, I—’

‘There’s no reason for me to relinquish my responsibilities. I know the case; I’m up to speed. Unless there have been any developments I should be aware of?’

‘Well,’ said Terry, ‘actually…’ and then he shook his head as though to clear it. ‘Why are you here, Leo? I thought… I mean, this thing with your daughter… Shouldn’t you be…’

‘What?’ said Leo. ‘Shouldn’t I be… What?’

Again Terry shook his head. ‘I don’t know.’ He gestured towards the door to the street, turned back with an upraised palm.

‘You think I should be out there?’ Leo said. ‘You think I should be checking the dustbins maybe? The gutters? You think perhaps I’ve been sitting on my arse for two weeks, catching up on daytime television?’

‘No. Of course not. I didn’t mean—’

‘I haven’t forgotten about my daughter, Terry. I’m not here because I woke up this morning and thought, wow, actually, it’ll probably all turn out fine. I might as well just head into the office.’

‘Leo. Look, I—’

‘I don’t need to be reminded. That’s all. Not every second. Not in every conversation I have.’

‘Please. Leo. If you’ll just—’

‘I’d like the files please, Terry. My files. Daniel is my client, my responsibility. I’m not just going to forget about him. Not now. Especially now. I mean, Ellie, she…’ Leo’s voice faltered. Whatever he had intended to say, he could not bring himself to say it.

The telephone rang. No one answered it.

Someone coughed and Leo focused.

‘Terry. May I have the files. Please.’

Terry ran his tongue beneath his upper lip. ‘I’m sorry, Leo. I can’t give them to you.’ He folded his arms – slowly, as though to temper the hostility of the gesture.

Everyone in the office, Leo knew, was watching to see how he would respond. He tapped his fingertips against his thigh. ‘They’re on your desk. Is that what you said?’ He began to turn. ‘In that case, maybe I’ll just—’

Terry seized Leo’s arm. His hands were in proportion to the rest of him but his stubby fingers had a strangler’s grip.

‘Leo. Stop. Talk to Howard. Okay? Let’s both of us go and talk this through with Howard.’

Leo looked at Terry’s hand on his arm. He gave a jerk and recovered his shirtsleeve.

He led the way.

‘Listen, Howard. Before Leo says anything, I think I should tell you—’

Their boss was seated at his desk. Jenny was standing at his shoulder, studying the same sheet of paper he was. Terry had blundered in without knocking but Howard’s surprise, on seeing Leo, cut him short.

‘Leonard,’ said Howard, raising his head.

‘Howard, listen I—’

Howard held off Terry with a finger. ‘What are you doing here? What about your… Shouldn’t you be…’

‘Have they found her, Leo?’ said Jenny. ‘Did they catch him?’

Leo, from the doorway, looked at Jenny and his eyes, unexpectedly, stuck. He had never before noticed the resemblance. She was fair, like his daughter, and just as freckled. She was taller, slightly, and older, obviously, but she might have been an image of Ellie as, say, an undergraduate. The Ellie he would never get to see.

He reached for something to hold on to.

‘Leonard? Are you okay?’ Howard rounded his desk.

‘Howard, listen. It’s ridiculous. He can’t possibly expect to walk in here and just demand—’

‘Terence! Please! Can’t you see the man is unwell?’

Howard drew closer. Jenny, as though startled by Leo’s reaction, wilted into the corner.

‘I’m fine,’ Leo said. He steadied himself. ‘I’m just… just tired, that’s all. I’m fine, really.’ He held off Howard’s outstretched hand. He stood straighter.

‘Would you like some water, Leonard? Or a hot drink? Some coffee maybe, or some—’

‘No! Thank you. Really, Howard. I promise you I’m fine. I’d like to… I wanted… I’m here to talk about Daniel.’ He felt an urge to look again at Jenny but resisted. ‘Just Daniel,’ he said.

‘Daniel? Daniel Blake?’

Leo nodded.

‘It’s being taken care of, Leonard.’ Howard smiled. ‘Really, there’s no need for you to worry. You obviously have more important—’

‘It’s my case.’

Howard looked to Terry. Terry looked knowingly back.

‘Of course it is,’ Howard said. ‘And you’ve done a fine job. But with everything that’s happened, no one’s expecting you to—’

‘Daniel is. Daniel needs me.’

Howard’s smile began to fray. ‘Leonard. Really. Terence here has your notes, he’s familiar with the case.’

‘He has my notes. He doesn’t have my relationship with the boy.’

Terry grunted. ‘A good thing too,’ he muttered.

Howard, caught between his two employees, seemed suddenly unsure of his bearings. He glanced about. ‘Let’s sit. Shall we?’