Tania Carver: Choked

‘And you are?’ she said.

He held up his warrant card once more. ‘Detective Sergeant Michael Philips,’ he said.

‘Detective Sergeant Jessica James.’

They shook hands.

‘Major Incident Squad,’ he said, ‘Essex Police.’

Jessica raised her eyebrows. ‘MIS? You’re a bit off your patch, aren’t you? Is this a major incident?’

He nodded. Sighed, and some of the stiffness of his manner left him. ‘Yeah. I’m not here officially.’ He pointed to the cottage. Grimaced. ‘That was my boss in there.’

‘Never mind the was, Detective … what did you say?’

‘Philips,’ he said. ‘Mickey. And his missus. Marina. She’s a psychologist. One of our team too.’

‘Right. Mickey. Is your boss the younger one? There was a father and son.’

Mickey nodded.

‘Then don’t say was . He’s still alive.’

Mickey nodded again, clearly unconvinced.

Jessica decided to change the subject. If he had come to help, he would be no good in this state. ‘So why are you here?’ she asked.

‘I just thought … ’ He shrugged. ‘Just wondered if you could do with some help. It’s my day off.’

‘Join the club,’ she said, the ghost of a smile on her face.

‘Well, anything I can do … ’

She looked at him. He was a bull of a man. Muscular, physical. More like a rugby player or a boxer. But there was a softness to his eyes. An intelligence and compassion that Jessica found appealing. Very appealing.

‘Well … ’ It was her turn to shrug. ‘More the merrier, I suppose. You can fill us in on your boss. Phil Brennan?’

Mickey nodded.

She smiled. ‘Welcome aboard.’

Mickey was introduced to Deepak Shah and shook hands, but any further conversation was cut short by the approach of a blue-suited forensic officer. Jessica turned to him.

‘Well? Anything?’

‘No kid,’ he said. ‘We’ll look in more detail, of course, but there’s nothing there to indicate that a child was in that blast. Unless, you know … ’

‘Unless it was right at the centre, I know,’ said Jessica, swallowing hard. ‘Well keep looking.’

‘We will. It’s early days, but we think we’ve identified the area in the cottage where the blast originated from.’

‘Cooker? Fire?’ asked Jessica.

The forensic officer shook his head. ‘Neither, we don’t think.’

A shiver ran through Jessica. ‘You mean it was started deliberately?’

‘Let’s keep an open mind,’ he said, and walked away.

Suddenly the desperate, clichéd plot of a TV cop drama didn’t sound so ridiculous after all.

As Anni’s words sank in, Marina felt even more numb than the painkillers had left her.

‘What d’you mean, you couldn’t find her?’

‘I mean we couldn’t find her,’ said Anni, fidgeting uncomfortably in her seat, like her skin didn’t fit right and was too itchy for her body. ‘We looked everywhere, but no sign … ’

‘Everywhere. You looked everywhere … ’

‘Yes. We did. In the cottage, outside … ’ She moved about, unable to settle. ‘We found some of her things. Clothes, toys. Or what was left of them. But no Josephina.’

‘I’ve got to … I’ve got to go … ’ Marina tried to swing her body over the edge of the bed, put her legs down, her feet on the floor. Her breath caught in her throat. She pulled air in sharply and gasped. The movement sent more pain spasming round her body. She fell back, hard.

‘Marina, you should stay there.’

‘I’ve got … got to go … my baby, I have to find my baby … ’

‘But we’ve looked … ’

Marina once again tried to get up. Failed. ‘Then … Look again.’

‘We—’

‘I’ll come with you. I should be there. You need me. Josie needs me.’ Ignoring the pain, Marina eventually sat up. ‘She’s got to be there. She’s … I don’t know, maybe she crawled out, got away from the cottage. Maybe she—’

‘We looked everywhere, Marina. Honestly.’ Anni’s voice low. Calm yet authoritative.

Marina felt a pain far worse than her physical injuries move through her body. A fear, like lead spreading in her veins, poisoning her, weighing her down. Removing her contact with the normal world. ‘Maybe she … maybe someone’s got her, seen her and taken her in, looking after her … ’ Marina reached out, gripped Anni’s sleeve, twisted the fabric, pulled hard, her voice teetering on the edge of hysteria.

‘We’re looking into every possible lead.’

Marina dropped her hand away, felt herself getting angry. She had heard Phil speak the same way. ‘Don’t talk to me like that, Anni, save it for the punters.’

Anni recoiled, shocked.

Marina sat up. The room spun, but she ignored it and concentrated on the other woman. Locked eyes with her, made sure she understood what she was saying. ‘Josephina, Josie … She must be there. Must be. Must be somewhere.’

‘We’ve looked. Everywhere.’

‘Then look again.’

Anni sighed. ‘We have.’

‘But somebody must know … If she’s been there, if she’s … if someone’s got her, taken her in … if … someone must have seen, someone … ’ Marina fell back on the bed, exhausted. ‘Oh God, oh God … ’ The pain subsided and the room slowed, stopped spinning. ‘I know,’ she said, her voice suddenly weak. ‘I know. I’m sure everyone’s doing their best … ’

‘Mickey’s gone to join them,’ Anni said. ‘He’s up there now with the local team.’

Mickey Philips. The detective sergeant in the Major Incident Squad they were all a part of.

‘Oh God … ’ Another thought had struck Marina. ‘She might be … ’ Her voice wavered, broke. ‘The cottage — she might be … ’

‘Mickey’s there,’ said Anni, her voice dropping. ‘If she’s there, he’ll find her. Wherever she is.’

Marina nodded. Kept nodding. She didn’t notice the tears until she felt Anni’s arm round her.

‘Oh God … ’ The lead weight in her veins increased. Her heart, her whole body felt heavy, the fear paralysing her. ‘Oh God … ’

The two of them sat like that, a still life of grief, while time became a vacuum.

The mood was broken when the curtain at the front of the cubicle was pulled back. Marina looked up. A tired-looking female nurse entered.

‘How you feeling?’ said the nurse. Her voice sounded distracted, professional interest only, but her eyes held compassion, albeit with black circles beneath them.

Marina stared at her. She couldn’t begin to answer the question.

‘My husband … how … how is he? Where is he? Can I, can I see him?’

‘He’s still in surgery,’ said the nurse. ‘They’re doing all they can.’

‘Oh God … ’ The heaviness again, the weight pressing down on her.

‘Any news? Anything you can tell us?’ Anni spoke as one professional to another.

The nurse gave her a level look. ‘They’re hopeful.’

‘What’s wrong with him?’

‘The fire set off an explosion,’ said the nurse, checking Marina over. ‘Luckily he wasn’t too near it, otherwise he wouldn’t be alive now, but he was hit by flying debris. Head injury. They’re operating now.’

The nurse’s words left Marina feeling cold and numb.

‘His mother’s doing well. She doesn’t look as bad as they first thought.’ The nurse paused. ‘I’m sorry about his father, though. Apparently there was nothing the paramedics could do for him.’

Marina said nothing. Couldn’t speak.

‘You’re in shock,’ the nurse said. ‘We’re just waiting for a bed to become free and we’ll move you to that. We’d like to keep you in overnight. Plus I’m sure you want to be near your husband.’