Tania Carver - Choked

Bracken was well known as the go-to guy for patching up people who didn’t want to leave a paper trail or go through the system. He never asked questions.

The Golem knew where he must be. Down a secluded path off a roundabout between Romford and Ongar in the badlands of Essex. The road was quite picturesque at first, with overhanging branches and muntjac deer skipping about. There was even a large old country house at what seemed like the end of the road, nestling in amongst the trees. But take the unmade road at the side of the country house and travel down there until the branches were no longer overhanging but closing in claustrophobically and the deer dared not go because they might not make it out alive again, and there was the house of Dr Bracken. A huge, heavy metal gate sat at the far end of the unmade road, the kind that survivalists or a far-right group might hole up behind. All around the house was a high fence, electrified, topped with razor wire. Several signs, hand-painted and not always accurately spelled, had been erected to deter anyone not put off by the gate: Keep Out, Private Propity, Strangers Not Wellcome .

And that was where the Golem was being patched up.

He studied Bracken as the man worked on his arm. He was small, frail-looking, but his eyes burned with an intensity that often seemed to be the only thing animating his scrawny frame. Like he was lit and powered by an individual fire within. A fire that burned with a dark, ugly light.

Probably the same light that powered the soldiers who killed my mother, raped my family. Destroyed my village and homeland, the Golem thought. But it didn’t matter at the moment. The doctor was helping him, patching him up, so he would call a truce.

Besides, he knew where he lived.

Bracken pushed the needle in again. The Golem smelled what he always did coming off the man. Alcohol, sweat. And something more. Fear and despair. Bracken didn’t do this by choice. Perhaps this wasn’t his place after all. Perhaps he was just a prisoner here. The Golem didn’t care. As long as he patched him up, got him working again.

‘Met you before,’ Bracken slurred as he worked. ‘Don’t usually remember them, but you stick out. The skin.’

‘I killed some people who killed my family. Then I was dead inside. My skin turned grey. Then I was dead outside.’

Bracken nodded. ‘You take any colloidal silver?’

‘Of course,’ said the Golem. ‘I take many things to keep me healthy and strong. Is good. Heals you. Keeps you fit. Stops Aids, they say.’

‘And turns your skin grey.’

The Golem thought about that. ‘No. It is because I am dead inside.’

‘Whatever works for you, son,’ said Bracken, and kept pushing the needle.

Bracken used big, looping strokes, like he was stitching leather or hide, and thick black thread. The local anaesthetic hadn’t blocked out all the pain. The Golem had to rely on himself to do that.

His side had been done first. The easiest wound to clean, treat, stitch and bandage. Then the knife slashes to his arm. Again, relatively simple. But his left arm was proving problematic. It had been chewed to bits.

‘You should probably have a skin graft on this,’ Bracken had said. ‘Reconstructive surgery. It’s the only thing that’ll save it. Make it good again.’

‘I don’t have time,’ said the Golem. ‘I am working. Put me together again, send me back out there.’

‘You’ll be going nowhere for the next few days, state you’re in,’ Bracken said.

‘No,’ said the Golem, not arguing but stating. ‘Patch me up. Send me back. I am working. I have job to finish.’

Bracken waved his hand, shrugged. Not his problem. ‘As you wish … ’

He pulled the last length of thread through the Golem’s arm, tied it, cut it. Stood back. ‘There,’ he said. ‘Best I can do.’

The Golem stood up, looked at himself in the mirror.

‘I wouldn’t do that, you’ll be unsteady on your feet … ’

The Golem stood firm. Regarded his reflection.

More wounds to heal. More life markers on his body. More scars to carry. He could live with them. But Bracken was right. His left arm was a mess.

‘Bandage me up,’ he told Bracken.

‘That arm needs more than bandage.’

‘And it will get it. After I finish job.’

Shrugging once more, Bracken bandaged the Golem’s arm. The Golem kept looking at himself.

‘Now,’ he said. ‘Pills?’

‘What?’

‘Pills. You give me pills. You know the kind. You give before.’

‘Oh, now look … that’s not, that’s not a good idea … ’

‘Pills now. You know. The kind to make me strong. To make me not give in. The kind that make me feel no pain.’

‘I really don’t think that’s a good idea. You don’t … They’re dangerous. They could damage you when you take them. Hurt you.’

‘If they do,’ the Golem said, eyes hard and flat, ‘then I won’t feel it. Pills. Now.’

Mickey Philips had received the call over an hour ago. Murder in Jaywick. Get yourself there as quickly as possible.

Now he parked as near to the crime-scene tape as he could. Silenced the Fleet Foxes CD that had been playing and made his way to the barrier, warrant card at the ready.

Fleet Foxes, for God’s sake. It was something Phil had burned for him and left in the car, insisting he listen to it. He had played it once, under sufferance, then relegated it to the bottom of the glove box, treating it with the contempt he reserved for most of his boss’s music. At least he hadn’t launched this one out of the window on the A12. The same couldn’t be said for Neil Young’s Sleeps With Angels album.

But today he had enjoyed it. Especially ‘Your Protector’; that track had struck a chord with him. Played it three times. Even started singing along. And he knew why.

Anni. And the night they had just spent together.

As he walked, he thought back. They had sat together on the sofa in her living room. Glass of wine in her hand, beer in his. Budvar. Because she knew he liked it. He hadn’t noticed at the time, but afterwards he realised that she must have got that in especially for him in case he ever called round. That made him smile.

Anni had been curled in one corner, legs beneath her, Mickey at the other end. Trying to relax but remaining upright and forward instead. She had put some music on. Fleet Foxes.

‘Not usually my thing,’ she had said. ‘Phil downloaded it for me. It’s really grown on me.’

Mickey nodded. Sipped his beer, listened to the harmonies. Something about coming down from the mountain, being gone too long. It wasn’t bad.

‘I think he did me a copy too,’ he said. ‘Never played it.’

‘You should. You might like it.’

‘Yeah,’ he said, looking at her, ‘I might.’

‘After a hard day at work,’ she said, ‘glass of wine, this music, great way to unwind.’

‘Yeah,’ he said.

She placed her wine glass on a side table. Took a deep breath, let it out. Mickey watched her breasts rise and fall as she did so. He couldn’t help it. He put the can to his lips, noticed his hand was shaking. Swallowed hard on the beer, put it down too. His body was burning with desire mixed with a fear of rejection. He looked along the sofa at Anni. She smiled at him.

‘I can think of a better way to relax, though.’

She moved towards him. He thought of picking up his beer can again, draining it, just to take in some courage, but left it where it was. She had worked her way along until she was beside him. She placed her hand on his chest, ran her fingers down his shirt front. Her touch felt good.

She looked at him. Eyes locking with eyes. She smiled. Moved her head in towards him.