Thomas Enger: Scarred

Of course he’s hungry, he hasn’t had anything to eat or drink all day.

‘I know, darling. But I don’t have anything for you right now. You’ll have to wait a little. Why don’t you go back to your room and play? I’ll come and see you very soon and I’ll bring you some food.’

Sebastian doesn’t budge. He just stares at them.

‘Hungry,’ he repeats before turning.

And then he starts walking towards the kitchen.

‘Sebastian,’ Emilie says, louder this time. ‘Don’t go in there.’

But he does.

‘Sebastian, don’t go—’

‘Sebastian,’ shouts Mattis in a voice that cuts through everything. ‘You’re not allowed to go in there. Do you hear me?’

And Sebastian stops and turns around again. He is not used to being spoken to like that. The slightest change in pitch makes him burst into tears, especially if he thinks he has done something wrong.

‘You mustn’t go in there,’ Emilie says, as gently as she can manage.

‘Why not?’ he demands to know.

‘Because—’

The next moment a figure appears right behind him.

Remi.

He looks at them. At Sebastian. Then he grabs the boy’s arm and drags him into the kitchen.

Remi ignores the screaming that erupts behind him. He closes the door and sits down on one of the kitchen chairs.

The pressure on his temples has increased. He grimaces and closes his eyes, trying to ignore the pain.

When he opens his eyes again, Sebastian is standing in front of him. In his hand he holds a small, red toy car.

‘Hungry,’ he says indignantly.

Remi’s mouth opens.

‘Eh?’

‘I’m hungry,’ the boy repeats.

‘A-are you?’

Remi continues to stare at him.

‘I want some food.’

‘Okay,’ Remi says at last. ‘What do you want, then?’

‘Cornflakes.’

Cornflakes. His favourite cereal when he was little. Who is he kidding? It still is.

Sebastian , he thinks. You and me both .

‘Then I’m going to need your help,’ he says to the boy.

Sebastian goes over to the cupboard where they keep empty bottles on one shelf and finds the cereal box, then he fetches a small, blue spoon from the cutlery drawer and half runs back to Remi with both. Then he turns and races over to the fridge, opens it, tries to make himself as tall as he can, but he can’t reach the milk. Remi gets it down for him, picks him up and puts him in his high chair and pours cereal and milk. He watches Sebastian eat his cornflakes; he slurps and makes a mess.

Somewhere far away he hears a voice. It’s a woman. She says his name: ‘Remi. Are you there?’

‘Yes, I’m here. We’re here. From now on it’s just you and me, Sebastian.’

He gets up and takes the gun. He thinks about where he is going to do it. The bedroom, perhaps. It’ll be messy, no matter where he does it. Best to wait until Sebastian has finished eating. You shouldn’t travel on an empty stomach.

He goes over to the door and pushes it open. He thinks about how quiet it will be. How he will finally be able to do it, this time with Sebastian. How the two of them will stare right into the brightest of lights.

Emilie’s body is convulsing. She is crying so hard that she can’t breathe properly. When she finally calms herself down enough to take a deep breath, she resurrects the thought of primal strength and primal pain, and tells herself that pain doesn’t really exist. She contorts her hands again, more desperate now, and only one thought keeps her going, the thought of Sebastian and what Remi might be doing to him in the kitchen. Every second counts. She wiggles and twists; she feels her back getting wetter so she tears, yanks, pushes and jerks. The blood acts as a lubricant and she feels the rope begin to give; she pulls as hard as she can and hopes that if she just keeps trying, just a little bit longer, then she will be able to free herself.

Emilie grits her teeth as her back grows bloodier, but she carries on tugging at the ropes and suddenly there is no more resistance.

She brings her hands round to the front, looks at them red and sticky with blood; she doesn’t recognise them and they don’t hurt. She is free and Sebastian is still with Remi. Mattis tries to say something to her, but she hushes him in order to listen out to noises from the kitchen. Her first instinct is to rush in before it’s too late, divert Remi’s attention away from Sebastian and on to herself. But she has no way of knowing what would happen then, Remi might panic and lash out and she can’t run that risk because of Sebastian.

So now what?

Emilie looks around for a weapon, anything that can inflict injury. It’s not enough to knock Remi out even if she does get the chance. She has to make sure that he can’t get back up again.

My weights , she thinks. The dumbbells Johanne gave her for Christmas and which she keeps under the sofa in case she feels a sudden urge to exercise. Emilie rushes over to the sofa, lies down flat on the floor and spots the dumbbells in between dust bunnies, Lego bricks and an old grape that is turning into a raisin. She stretches out as far as she can, gets hold of one of the dumbbells and rolls it towards herself. Then she stands back up, raises the dumbbell to chest height and pledges that if she – and Sebastian and Mattis – get out alive, she is going to start exercising properly rather than just talk about doing it. She will take responsibility for her life. Improve herself. Try to love all of Mattis and not just the reindeer hunter in him.

Emilie hurries over to the door and braces herself.

At that moment the kitchen door handle is pushed down.

Remi doesn’t reply.

Trine turns to the hostage negotiator, to Simen Krogh, to the police officers and everyone in uniform who begin to move in almost robot-like unison. Trine knows why. A scream from a hostage means danger, that lives may be lost.

The officers from the armed response unit move closer, orders are issued, code words and warnings that make no sense to her. Everyone is standing by.

Trine closes her eyes.

Please , she says to herself. Please let this end well .

Emilie raises the dumbbell over her head, ready to strike. She knows that Remi might be holding Sebastian so she hides behind the kitchen door when it opens. Remi takes a step forward. And she sees that Sebastian is right behind him, but neither of them has noticed her.

Emilie closes her eyes and lets her arm fall. She has only one thought in her head and that is to hit Remi and hit him again and again until there is nothing left to hit.

At that moment there is a bang. She has never heard such a loud bang before and when she opens her eyes, she realises at once that Mattis’s rifle has been fired, but it doesn’t stop her, she still lets the dumbbell fall and she feels that she hits something, but has no idea what.

She is about to strike again when one of the living room windows is smashed in. The floor starts to shake with the heavy footsteps of men in dark uniforms and her arm stops moving. There is a lot of shouting, but Emilie doesn’t understand a word that is being said, she just concentrates on hitting Remi, but it’s no use. Someone is restraining her.

Emilie exhales and then she sees Remi’s feet under a pile of men and Mattis’s gun trapped under a solid, black boot on the birch parquet floor. White powder scatters from the ceiling as if it has started to snow indoors. And that’s when she realises it’s all over.

The tiny, delicate crying of a toddler emerges from the pandemonium of loud, male voices and Emilie wriggles free. She rushes over to her son, who is looking up at her with wide-open, moist eyes. His cheeks are flushed. Lightning McQueen is lying next to a bowl of half-eaten cornflakes on the kitchen floor. There is mess everywhere. And Emilie doesn’t really understand what has happened, but right now she doesn’t care, either.