Nelson DeMille - Spencerville

"It's okay."

She found a tissue in her pocket and blew her nose. "Okay... so then I came home, and my cousin was getting married, and I was her maid of honor, and at the reception I met Cliff Baxter."

"I heard that from someone who was there. I also heard from my mother that you got engaged to him, and that I was a fool."

"Your mother was right. So was my mother. She told me not to marry him. Funny thing is that my father liked him at first. Most guys seemed to like him, and a lot of women did, too. The women liked him because he had a new car every year, he had some charm, and he was good-looking. He still has a new car."

"Annie..."

"Quiet. So I was still sort of inexperienced with men, and I couldn't judge... I thought, well, there'll never be another Keith, but Cliff is the boy next door, Cliff has a responsible job, Cliff is draft-exempt, and the other guys are married, or in the Army, and Cliff always liked me. Can you imagine such narrow, immature, small-town thinking?"

"Sure. This is who we were, Annie."

"Yes, it was. So... he asked me to marry him... down on one knee, if you can believe that... I was flattered, I was feeling low about myself, I was stupid."

Keith asked her, "Annie, why did you marry him? Really. You have to know it, and you have to say it."

She glanced at him, then stood and replied, "To get back at you."

He stood also, and they looked at each other.

She said, "You bastard. Do you know what you did to me? Do you know? I hate you. I hate what you did to me, what you made me into, what I did because of you."

"I know. Feel better?"

She nodded.

He took her hand, and they sat on the edge of the stream and watched the water. She said, "Thank you. I do feel better."

"Me, too."

She said, "I don't hate you anymore."

"Maybe just a little."

"No, I don't. I'm angry at myself."

"So am I. But I think we can forgive ourselves if we do it right this time."

She asked him, "And you're sure you aren't still angry with me? I mean for the way I treated you when you went off to the Army and for marrying Cliff?"

"Well, I was. You know that. But I came to understand it a little. I mean, we never wrote about it, but just the act of writing and keeping in touch was sort of our way of saying we both made mistakes, we both regretted what had happened, and we were sort of apologizing, forgiving, and still loving — without saying 'I'm sorry, forgive me, I love you.' " He added, "I'm glad you decided to bring it up. I'm glad you feel you can talk to me."

"I do. You're the first man I've called a bastard since... well, since you — that time you had lunch in the student union with that little bitch, whatever her name was."

"Karen Rider."

"Bastard." She laughed.

They watched the rippling water for a long time, thinking their own thoughts, then Annie said, "It's peaceful here. I used to take the kids fishing at the pond. I taught them to skate there. I think you'd like them. They take after me."

"That's good."

"They're not actually kids anymore, are they? They're very mature."

"Then they're doing better than us. We don't want to grow up."

"We grew up. I want to be a kid again."

"Why not? Pick an age you like and stick with it. That's my new motto."

She laughed. "Okay, twenty-one."

"Well, darling, you have the body for it."

"You noticed. I'm the same size as I was in college. I'm very vain about my looks. Very shallow."

"Good. Me, too. By the way, you looked good in jeans the other night. What are you dressed for today?"

"Well... he wants me to dress when I go into town. I can't even go to the public pool and be seen in a bathing suit. One time he came by the high school where I was taking an aerobics class, and he got one look at what I was wearing in a coed class and he freaked out, so now I work out at home... sorry. You don't want to hear this."

"Are you allowed to have sex with a horseman you just met in the woods?"

"That happens to be one of my recurring sexual fantasies."

"Good." He stood and looked around. "A little rough here."

"Oh, be inventive, Keith. Here — we'll do it on that log." She took his hand and led him back to the big fallen trunk they'd sat on. She took off his shirt and laid it on the log. "Sit. No, first you have to take your pants off."

He pulled off his shoes and then his jeans as she undid her blouse and bra. She slipped her panties off under her skirt and said, "We shouldn't get completely naked in case someone comes by. I can say I'm picking mushrooms, and I don't know who you are."

"Good thinking. Well..." He sat on the trunk, still wearing his shorts, and Annie, still wearing her blouse, bra, and skirt, held his shoulders and threw one leg at a time over the log, then lowered herself into his lap. She put her hand under her skirt, found him, and slid it in. "Oooh... that's nice..."

She wrapped her arms around him, and he steadied himself with his hands on the log. He said, "We're going to fall backwards."

"So what?" She rested her head on his shoulder as she moved up and down on him. "Oh... that feels... different... how are you doing?"

"Just fine."

"Are we going to fall?"

"No, I've got it."

She pressed her breasts against his bare chest as she moved slowly up and down on him, then quickened her movements and began breathing harder. She suddenly stiffened and climaxed, and he ejaculated.

Her body went limp in his arms, and she held him loosely as she caught her breath. After a minute, she said, "I feel like such a whore. It feels great. How do we get out of this position?"

"Wait for a forest ranger." He put his arms around her, stood, and stepped away from the log. She slid down from him, and they embraced and kissed. He said, "That was very nice."

"I had fun." She put her hand on his groin and said, "We have to clean you up."

"I like to wear it."

"Is that so?" She picked her panties up, wet them in the stream, then cleaned him off and cleaned herself. "There. Can't go around sticking to things."

"You're funny."

"I feel funny. Giddy." She threw her panties in a bush. "I feel like a kid. I haven't done this outdoors since high school. Next, we'll do it in your barn, then the backseat of my car."

"Maybe we'll get a motel room."

"That, too."

He picked up his pants, but she said, "No. Take off your shorts. I've never seen a naked man in the woods. I wish I had a camera. Your socks, too."

He slid off his shorts and socks. "You're embarrassing me."

"Turn around." She came up behind him and ran her hands over his back and buttocks, squeezing his cheeks. "You're all muscle."

"You been in jail, or what? Can I get dressed?"

"No, turn around."

He turned around, and she moved her hands over his chest and down to his stomach. "I told you, I can't keep my hands off..." She looked at his stomach. "What's that?"

"A bruise."

"Oh..." She hooked her bra and buttoned her blouse. He got dressed.

She went back to the streambank and sat in a patch of sunlight near the water, her back to a willow tree.

Keith came and sat beside her.

Annie threw twigs in the water and watched them run downstream, cascading over the stones. She asked, "What happened when he came out to your place?"

"About what you'd expect."

"Tell me."

"Well, he was a lot crazier than the situation required, so I had the thought that he'd found out about your visit to me, and I was... I was really worried for a minute there. About you."

"Thank you."

"But he sort of had the drop on me, and I was a little worried about me, too. Then I realized he didn't know anything, but that he was just nuts."

"Was he alone?"

"No. He had one of his men with him. A guy named Ward. You know him?"