Trent Reedy - Divided We Fall

“Shh.” JoBell gently touched my cheek and turned me to face her. “Don’t talk like that. You’re not alone. You have me. You have Cal and Becca and Eric.” She wiped away my tears. “And don’t apologize to me. That’s why I came out here today, Danny. I wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

I shook my head. “No, you see, I’ve figured—”

“Let me finish,” she said in her firm no-argument voice. She kissed my cheek and pressed her face to mine. “I’ve been so hard on you, Danny.” She shook her head. “You’ve been wrapped up in this thing that’s so much bigger than either of us. So much has happened that you couldn’t avoid, and all I’ve done is tell you to run away from it, as if it were your fault.” She kissed me on the lips. “I’m so sorry, Danny. I’ve been wrong. And now with everything that’s happened, I can’t go to Seattle. I’m staying right here. Maybe I’ll head down to Boise State after everything calms down. If everything calms down.”

Since Mom’s death, I’d felt a very real, physical cold weight somewhere in my core. Now, hearing this from JoBell, I noticed a little warmth there. I felt like thanking her, almost like celebrating, but I knew that I had to say what was right. “JoBell, you can’t give up your dream.”

“Like I said, this is bigger than either of us. During the chase, I was firing in self-defense, but the Fed won’t see it that way. I’d probably be arrested if I went anywhere near Seattle.”

Was that the only reason she was giving up all her plans and dreams? Because my botched rescue had ruined them? I’d passed my problems on to her, made her a part of all of this. I looked down and kicked a rock off the trail.

JoBell leaned down so I’d have to look at her. “I want to stay, Danny. I want to be here with you.”

Her arms slid around my waist. We kissed, long and deep and warm, like we had before I’d proposed and everything got so weird between us.

Like we had when Mom was still alive. The memory of my mother came on so fast that the tears started before I could even think about trying to stop them. “I’ll never… never see her again,” I gasped. “Never talk to her ever again.”

JoBell rested her forehead on mine. “I know,” she whispered. “I know. I miss her too. I loved her too.”

We stayed like that for a long time.

A while later, as we walked hand in hand along the last part of my lap around the lake, JoBell stopped me. “I have to warn you. I tried to talk them out of it, but they wouldn’t listen. Sweeney and Cal think the best way to help you right now is to have a little party tonight.”

I sighed. “Well, maybe they’re right. Maybe it will help me get my mind off all the horrible things that have happened.”

“Really?” She squeezed my hand.

I squeezed back. “No, but I thought I’d try to believe that, since the party is happening anyway.”

She laughed a little and leaned her head on my shoulder as we went back to Sweeney’s house.

The thing about Eric Sweeney was that his concept of a “little party” was at least twice the size of anyone else’s. Close to a couple dozen people packed his house, some playing video games, others watching a movie, some hanging around talking or slipping off somewhere to make out. Almost everybody was drinking. Although I really wasn’t in the mood for any of it, I had to appreciate his skill in lining up one of the most insane parties I could remember.

When I asked how he’d done it, Sweeney flashed his million-dollar smile and put his arm around my shoulder. “Priorities, my brother! While Schmidty was crawling around storing gas and whatever in the basement of your shop, I knew there would be a different, much worse shortage. Beer . I’m too young to buy it from the store, and I knew the supply would run out fast. So I rushed out and bought up all the home brewing equipment and supplies I could get my hands on. I spent, like, fifteen hundred, and put it all up in the loft above the boathouse. I’ll easily make back four times as much selling my surplus beer. In the meantime” — he took a swig from his unlabeled brown bottle — “we won’t have to worry. Our parties will be well supplied.”

I had to laugh. The guy was a genius. “Okay, give me one of these beers of yours.”

“Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!” He reached into a cooler, pulled out a bottle, popped the cap with the opener he kept on his keychain, and handed me my first beer of the night. “Here’s to a good party, and some long-overdue fun.”

We clinked bottles and I took a drink. It had a nice bite. “Strong stuff.”

He drank again. “Yeah, well, if you’re too much of a pussy to handle it, you can always drink the pink berry punch with the girls.”

I slugged him in the arm.

“I’ll have a beer,” JoBell said.

Sweeney gave her one. The three of us touched our bottles together.

The party rolled on. Brad must have downed almost a dozen beers. He swayed back and forth with his arm around Crystal as he and Randy yelled, “Nothing is so clear, as when I’m drinking beer” along with Hank McGrew on the living room screen. Someone had either invited TJ or he’d just showed up on his own. He was playing with Sweeney’s office putter set, only he whacked the golf ball way too hard, sending it bouncing off the wall so that it flew back and almost hit a window. What a jackwad. Cal and Samantha had disappeared a while ago, so that was one good thing.

Skylar came up and leaned on me. He was one of those guys who acted like he was completely hammered and could hardly walk after only a couple beers. “Wright, I haven’t had the chansh ta talk to ya too much lately.” He pointed at me. “I jush gotta shay, I saw that… video.” He held his left fist up above his head and made a finger gun with his right, acting like he was shooting. “You were shooo badass.”

“Thanks.” My left hand ached. I moved as far from him as I could.

“Hey, babe,” JoBell said when I entered the dining room on my way to the fridge in the kitchen. She and Becca were playing beer pong. “Want to play?”

I put on a smile. “Maybe later.”

The truth was I didn’t want to play anything at all. I knew that half the reason Sweeney was throwing this party was to try to cheer me up, but it wasn’t working. I simply didn’t feel like being cheered up. It didn’t count as having fun if you had to force yourself to act like you were having fun.

TJ had given up golf and came over to the beer pong table. JoBell nailed a slick bounce shot, her Ping-Pong ball plopping down into a plastic cup full of beer. “Awesome shot!” TJ patted her shoulder. Then he said to Sweeney, “It sucks that your parents have to be gone for so long, but in a way it’s cool because we get to have fun.”

That was it. I put my beer down and rushed around the table, grabbing him by the neck of his T-shirt and pushing him up against the wall. “Yeah, it’s so cool that our parents are gone!”

“Danny, don’t!” JoBell shouted.

“Dude, I didn’t mean that,” TJ said. His eyes were wide.

I hit him into the wall again. “Sure you didn’t. And keep your damned hands off JoBell.”

Sweeney wedged himself between us, pushing me back. “Dude, chill.”

TJ stood up against the wall with his hands up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything. It was stupid what I said. I’m sorry.”

Sweeney leaned in close so he could speak quietly. “I know you’re pissed, and I know you don’t like him, but we both know this isn’t about TJ. Okay? Chill. Leave him alone.”

“There a problem out here?” Cal came back into the room, holding Samantha’s hand. Their hair was all messed up.