Trent Reedy - Divided We Fall

“Mom, you can’t. Soldiers have the whole border blocked off on both sides.”

“But I’ve been looking at some maps. There’s a store here in Spokane that sells nothing but maps. I think I’ve found some places where I can sneak across.”

I rubbed the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger. “Mom, we’ve been over this. It is not safe to try to cross that border. People have been hurt. The Fed will stop you. I don’t know, maybe arrest you.”

Tears sprang to her eyes. “But I can’t stay here, Danny. I have bills to pay, and… and I miss you. I want to come home.”

“I miss you too, but Mom, you have to try to relax. I can take care of stuff over here. They’ll probably be promoting me soon, and I’ll be making more money then, so I can pay for some more stuff. I have a little bit in a savings account too.”

She smiled, but not too happily. “ When did you grow up so much? You’re only seventeen.”

“Me and you, Mom. It’s been that way for a long time. We’ll figure this all out.”

“I worry about you, though.” She bit her fingernail. “Things are scary here in Spokane. At the fairgrounds and at different places around the interstate, there’s lots of Army stuff. Trucks and tank-looking things. It’s like the whole town has become an Army base.”

“I’m sure they’re only rotating troops in and out of the blockade.”

“Maybe. But a few nights ago, someone set off a homemade bomb and messed up an Army Humvee. Now they’re talking about ordering a curfew here.”

If things were that bad in Washington, it was only a matter of time before people started getting hurt. But I didn’t dare say that to Mom. “That’s nothing for you to worry about. Get some rest and, you know, have some fun maybe. There has to be some cool things to do in Spokane. I’ll take care of everything. I promise.”

We talked for a while longer, even though neither of us had much more to talk about than we did the last time I’d called her. The blockade had everything stuck. After we tapped out, I ate my crappy sandwich and soggy fries. Then I was grateful for enough hot water to take a shower for as long as I wanted, unlike the usually half-cold showers we had once a week at camp when the hygiene trailer came around. After that, I gathered some coats, sweatshirts, hats, gloves, and blankets and headed back to the Beast. I had another hour or two before I had to report back to duty, but what was the point?

As I drove, I thought about the night. If I was honest with myself, I’d have to admit that I’d acted like a jerk back at the party. The problem was that even if JoBell didn’t want a relationship with TJ, I knew that prick wanted her . Everything in my whole life already felt like it was slipping away, so to walk in and see TJ sitting next to JoBell was like all those rumors the media had been kicking around brought to life. It was too much to take.

And if I was really honest with myself… Yeah, like I said before, all couples fight, but I don’t know. Maybe… Maybe me and JoBell hadn’t fought enough. When we were both yelling at each other at Cal’s, it felt like we were saying a lot of stuff that had been on our minds for a long time — stuff we’d been holding back since the Battle of Boise. I don’t know, maybe something had been building up between us even before that horrible night. We never talked about it. I never wanted to think about it. I sure as hell didn’t want to think about it now.

A cop was parked outside the Gas & Sip when I pulled up to the pump. As I was opening my gas cap, he stepped out of his car and approached.

“Evening, soldier,” he said, loud and friendly. He leaned against the gas pump. “What’re you doing?”

What the hell did it look like I was doing? I put on a smile and answered. “Getting some fuel.” I noticed the price display on the pump. “Whoa. Ten ninety-nine a gallon?”

“Did you check with the attendant inside with your ration card?”

“What?”

The cop rubbed his nose. “The pump won’t work until the attendant activates it. For that you have to show her your ration card to make sure you’re allowed to buy the gasoline. Then it’s prepay only.”

“I don’t… I mean, I never got a ration card. I’ve been on the line with the Idaho Guard.”

“You look familiar,” said the officer. Oh no, not again. “I’ve seen you on the news or something.”

I tapped my name tape on my chest. “I’m PFC Danny Wright. I have to buy some gas so I have enough to get back to my duty post before mid—”

“Oh yeah! I thought I recognized you. Listen.” He took a card out of his wallet. “Law enforcement has their own cards, and we charge the fuel for our cars to the state. I was given a nice promotion and raise after the guy in charge of me freaked out about the blockade and left. I owe you big.” He was about to swipe his card, but I held out my hand to stop him.

“No thanks.” I’d had enough handouts and special treatment lately. Cheating on a rationing system didn’t seem right. “I have enough gas to get out there and back. I’ll get the ration card later and buy my own gas.”

He looked confused. “You sure?”

I told him I was, and then climbed up in the truck to drive back to my post, praying all the while that I really did have enough gas for the trip.

I returned at about twenty-one hundred to find Sergeant Kemp at the fighting position. Instead of leaving right away, he stayed on watch and let me get some sleep. Shortly after midnight, though, he woke me up and left. I was alone then, on duty until zero seven, watching over nothing.

Back when I’d enlisted, the Idaho Guard had issued me layers and layers of cold-weather gear. Long underwear, poly pro undershirts, a Gor-Tex jacket, an Army field jacket, leather gloves, wool glove inserts, and stocking caps. That night, as I waited for Sergeant Kemp to get back from his pass, all of that, along with my Freedom Lake High School sweatshirt, extra-big mittens, and the anti-drone thermal cloak was simply not enough. The M240 Bravo machine gun that used to look so tough was now a lump of cold, boring metal, and my M4 was an uncomfortable pain in the ass that I had to have with me at all times, even when I went to the latrine. A sharp cold front had come in and a fierce, freezing wind whistled through the valley. I wouldn’t have been surprised if it had started snowing.

By zero five thirty the contour of Silver Mountain was coming into focus out of the dark as the eastern sky began to lighten. I took off my night vision glasses and rubbed my tired eyes. Soon I could put them in my pocket and stare at the nothingness without them. An hour and a half left of my shift. Impossibly long. Way too tired. I bit my lip to try to stay awake.

My head jerked up. It was brighter out now. Crouching down behind the wall to keep the light from my comm out of view, I checked the time. Zero six fifteen. I slapped myself in the face. I couldn’t be falling asleep like this. Guard duty was boring, but it was important, and the most holy commandment of guard duty was “Thou shalt stay awake.” I squeezed my eyes shut and then opened them wide again to fight sleep.

Something moved down in the valley. Or at least I thought I saw something move. Sometimes when I was this tired, my mind started thinking nonsense thoughts or I would need sleep so bad that I would see things that weren’t there.

But whatever I thought I’d seen moved again. There really was someone down there. Cold dropped in my stomach and spread all the way through me. My heart beat harder, and I was awake now.