Trent Reedy - Divided We Fall

“Sorry about that,” I said to Alice after she’d put a glass of water in front of me.

“Oh, no bother. We’re used to it,” Alice said. “No school today, sweetie?”

“There’s school, but I have to report to my National Guard unit.”

“Hey, Alice, whatever the soldier wants, it’s on me,” said another of the old-timers.

“That’s not really necessary,” I said to Alice.

“Well, they’re excited, and I can’t blame ’em.” She motioned to the room, her thick plastic bracelets clicking. “Look at this place. Everybody is in here ordering food like we ain’t gonna have none tomorrow. And now with this blockade on, my brother finally found work. You know they’ve cut down so many trees on the border that the sawmills can hardly keep up. They’re running extra shifts, and my brother was hired on.”

“I told you, Alice,” said the man in overalls. “Montaine is a different kind of governor. When he said he was going to bring jobs back to Idaho, he knew what he was talking about.”

“And these guys are laughing all the way to the bank,” Alice said to me. “Food prices are up already. They’re saying potatoes are worth their weight in gold.” I raised an eyebrow. She patted my arm. She was real touchy-feely like that. It was weird. “Not really, of course, but they’re making some good money.”

“They say the state legislature rushed through some special zoning and funds to get another factory going in Boise, building even more electrical equipment,” said a red-haired guy sitting next to me. “So the construction business will be booming. They’re talking about starting something like that up in Coeur d’Alene too. I guess they can get a lot done without all the federal red tape holding them up.”

Was anyone going to just let me get lunch? “Cheeseburger basket, please,” I said to Alice.

A guy with shaggy black hair and three days of stubble slapped me on the back. His breath reeked of coffee and cigarettes. “I have to shake your hand,” he said. I reached out and shook his rough hand. “I know this has been tough, the way they blamed you for all them deaths in Boise, and then chasing you around the state, but I got to tell you, we’s all proud of you.”

One man’s chair scraped the floor loudly as he pushed it back and stood up. “I can’t listen to any more of this garbage.” He stormed out of the diner.

“Forget him,” said Mr. Coffee and Cigarettes. “Most of us is right behind you. You got this whole thing started so we can finally stand up to them bastard crooks in Washington.”

“Um, thanks, I guess,” I said, finally freeing my hand.

A man who went to my church — I’d forgotten his name — leaned forward at the counter. “He’s right. You’re a real hero, Danny. Oops. I mean, Private First Class Wright.”

Why couldn’t these people leave me alone? I was no damned hero. I’d failed to maintain control of my weapon and it had started a nightmare. I pretended to check my comm for the time. “Hey, Alice, can I get that burger to go?”

A short time later I was back in the Beast, eating my lunch on the road. I was surprised when the news on the radio actually stopped and the theme music for the Buzz Ellison Show came on.

Greetings, greetings, fellow patriots! Welcome to the Buzz Ellison Show , the beacon of freedom, shining the light of truth as we broadcast live coast to coast — despite the president’s blockade — from Conservative Central Command in downtown Boise, Idaho. It’s a new day in America! A landmark day in the struggle against big government. The number to call if you want to be on the program today is 1-800-555-FREE, that’s 1-800-555-3733.

Well, he’s finally done it. El Presidente Rodriguez has closed the border for anyone wishing to enter the state of Idaho. And it’s ironic, isn’t it, that part of the reason behind this standoff is the federal government’s ridiculous unconstitutional spy card act? One of the benefits that the president has claimed this card offers is that it will supposedly reduce illegal immigration. If he had sealed the US border the way he’s sealed the Idaho border, we wouldn’t have had any illegal immigrants to worry about in the first place!

But, oh, where to begin today, folks? Students at colleges and universities across the country walking out of classes, protesting for peace, calling for an end to the blockade, calling for talks. Food riots already in Brooklyn and Harlem. New York National Guard running patrols to maintain order. And there’s not even a shortage out there yet! People are simply scared of the food supply being interrupted. Food riots in Detroit. A couple people have been hospitalized after fights broke out there. Though in Detroit… Buzz laughed. I don’t know how they’d tell that apart from an average day. There are even unconfirmed reports that someone in northern Oregon took shots at federal soldiers stationed on the border there with Idaho.

Texas is about to vote to nullify the Federal Identification Card Act, and polls show that such a measure is a runaway favorite to pass. Oklahoma is expected to follow along. What will Rodriguez do, enforce sanctions against those states too? That would be rich — Rodriguez closing Texas’s borders with the rest of America, but leaving the Mexican border wide open!

Still, a lot of people here in Idaho are worried. Worried about food shortages, about shortages on everything. Police, National Guard, and Idaho Civilian Corps people have had to stand guard at stores to prevent total chaos. But I want you to take heart, fellow patriots, and listen to the Buzzman as I assure you, we’re going to be okay. The president won’t be able to stop us from trading with Montana and Wyoming. And he… Buzz chuckled. Do you know he’s asked Canada to post troops at their border with Idaho, but they’ve refused? They’ll only enforce the blockade at their regular checkpoints on two highways. Folks, Idaho’s border with Canada is maybe fifty miles long, but it includes some of the most wild, mountainous, wooded lands on the continent, perfect for smugglers. We’re going to be getting plenty of goods in from Canada. Canadians up there are probably thrilled at this new business opportunity.

Now, I know… I’ve been getting a lot of messages from listeners who think that this handful of Democrat congressmen calling for amendments or repeal of the spy card act is cause for a lot of hope. Some of you think that Rodriguez is going to come to his senses on this, but listen to the threats from Senate Majority Leader “Lazy” Laura Griffith. She says, quote, “The state of Idaho, in refusing to comply with the law, and in refusing to allow the entry of soldiers, has become a rebel state, and rebellions must be ended quickly, by whatever means necessary.” End quote.

Woo! Now I know Lazy Griffith wants people to think that she’s tough even though she’s a woman. Now, now, don’t misunderstand me. Women can be plenty tough. Just ask my ex-wife! But for some reason women politicians seem to have more to prove, and so they say things like this to try to carry through the tough image. But seriously, fellow patriots, Idaho is a rebel state? That’s absolutely absurd. The president’s cut off all the money coming into Idaho, but you notice he didn’t say anything about money going the other way! So we in Idaho are still paying way too much money in federal taxes, though hopefully Montaine will do something about that soon. Plus, over a thousand soldiers from the Idaho Army National Guard are on federal duty, serving in Iran right now. That’s before El Presidente tried to activate the rest of them. Which, by the way, only about 2 percent of remaining Idaho Guard forces reported for federal duty.