Trent Reedy - Divided We Fall

I slowed the Beast down a little as I steered around the collapsed left lane. Why was it that when I felt depressed, I would put on depressing music or go to lonely, quiet places? I should’ve been trying to cheer myself up. How? I didn’t know. Maybe I should have gone to a pet store or something. Seen the puppies.

I got out of the truck and went out onto Party Bridge. The dark water of Freedom River churned around the rocks below. A cool breeze whispered through the pines on the riverbank. I thought back to all the parties we’d had out here the summer after sophomore year. Cold beer and a good fire. A few cheap cigars with the guys. Girls in bikinis splashing around down there when the water was warm. Now those parties were over. I’d missed all of them when I went to basic training this last summer. Then summer ended at Boise. Maybe my life ended there too. I hadn’t thought about that until now.

“I’ve been looking for you,” JoBell said as she ducked under the I-beam barrier and came out onto the bridge. She put up the hood of her blue-and-white Minutemen sweatshirt.

“Welcome to the party,” I said, looking out at the water.

She stood beside me without saying anything for a long time. I wished she’d take my hand or rub my back like she used to do when I was facing hard times, but I guess that was too much to hope for. At least she was giving me some quiet time. I was grateful for that. I didn’t feel like talking about the situation. I was tired of it. Tired of talking and thinking about it.

“Volleyball practice was fun tonight.”

“Good,” I mumbled, watching a fish skip out of the water downstream.

“Cassie Macer was in a really good mood.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Did Sweeney and her—”

“Yep.”

“This last weekend?”

“Sunday night. He convinced her to come over to ‘study,’ I think.”

“JoBell,” I said, finally looking at her. I didn’t know where to begin.

She put her arms around me and drew in for a kiss. After that, she squeezed me close and rested her head on my chest. “You’re going to be okay, Danny.”

“I wish I knew how.”

“Let me call the others.” She held up her comm. “We’ll figure this out together.”

About fifteen minutes later, Cal, Sweeney, and Becca showed up, and I explained the whole thing so they had the full details, not just the little bit I told Sweeney at lunch. “So that’s it,” I said. “Those are my choices.” I shook my head. “And I have no idea what I should do.”

“I know you probably won’t want to hear this,” JoBell said. “But you’ve been talking about how you want this all to be over. You want things to be normal. Quit the military . It solves everything. You can go back to football and hanging with us and school, which is what you really need to be focused on, so we can get your grades up for your college application.”

“It’s not that simple,” I started.

She took both of my hands in hers. “Babe, what if it is? What if it’s exactly that simple? You’ve been given your way out. This can all be over.”

“I signed my name on the line. I swore an oath to obey the president. To obey the governor.”

“Exactly.” JoBell flipped a strand of hair back behind her ear. “And the governor said you can get out of the military with no penalties, so do it.”

“But the federal government is expecting him to show up at that Air Force base Wednesday,” said Sweeney. “If he doesn’t, it’s a crime or something, right?” I nodded. He went on, “The federal government has thought he was guilty of a crime for a while now. I don’t know, maybe it would be a good idea to go federal and get that pardon. On the other hand, even without a pardon for Boise, and even if they’re pissed that he doesn’t show up to federal duty, it’s not like they can come and arrest him. The Idaho Guard won’t even let them into the state.”

“Bingo.” Cal spoke through a belch before crushing his empty Turbo Juice can. “What’s he supposed to do? Act like it’s all good while the National Guard protects him?” He pointed at me. “While they put their asses on the line, you’re just going to sit around and watch? I say go state all the way, man. You don’t owe the Fed shit. They tried to arrest you. They almost killed us all, trying to run us down in the car. If you go to that Air Force base, they’ll probably bust you right there. You’re insane if you think the president is really going to give you that pardon. He already proved he ain’t trustworthy by accidentally-on-purpose leaking your name to the news. The governor’s right. The only reason they’re calling you to active duty Army is so they can come into the state and arrest Montaine, and that guy is the only one who kept you out of jail after that whole thing went down in Boise. He helped you. Now you got to help Idaho. Someone has to stand up to these guys.”

I don’t know exactly what the others were thinking, but they had to have been as shocked as I was. That was the longest, clearest speech Cal ever gave, better even than his classic sophomore-year English-class presentation, “Why Brittany Mavis Is the Best Actress and Singer and She Turns Me On.”

Finally, JoBell shook her head. “That’s illegal. That’s rebellion!”

“Whoa, whoa. Easy, guys.” I didn’t need my best friends fighting about this.

“It’s the damn Fed that’s breaking the law.” Cal threw his can into the river. “The Idaho Guard is only protecting us. It’s not rebellion. It’s self-defense.”

“It’s suicide,” Becca said quietly. She had this way of getting everyone’s attention without having to yell. She didn’t always talk much, but when she did, her words mattered. “If it comes to an all-out fight? Idaho against the full Army, Air Force, and Marines of the United States? Suicide.”

“It won’t be a fight if the Fed stays out of Idaho,” Cal said.

“What if they don’t stay out? What if they storm the state? They don’t even need to come in. They can fire cruise missiles or drop bombs or something,” Becca said. “I’m sorry, but Idaho doesn’t have a chance. Not in a million years.”

“Hey,” I said. “The Idaho Guard is just as well trained and—”

“They’re going to get killed,” Becca said. “You know it’s true.”

“But they won’t take it that far,” said Sweeney. “What president would order the total slaughter of his own people? He’d never be elected again.”

I put my head back and pressed my fists to my eyes. “This isn’t getting me anywhere. If I obey the president, I have to leave home for two years.”

“Or maybe longer,” JoBell added.

“Or maybe longer,” I agreed.

“Or probably go to jail.” Cal folded his big arms. “And you’d be selling out your state.”

I leaned against a steel girder in the bridge’s truss. “If I stay with the Idaho Guard, I’ll probably end up getting killed.”

“Not necessarily,” said Sweeney.

“And you’d betray your oath to the president,” said Becca.

“But if I drop out of the military entirely,” I said, “I’d be a traitor to both.”

JoBell took my hand.

“Dude, I don’t know what you should do,” said Sweeney. “But I’ll support you no matter what you decide.”

“Thanks for coming out here, guys,” I said. “It means a lot. Tomorrow’s only Tuesday, right? The Fed doesn’t expect me until Wednesday, so I can sleep on it.”

Cal slapped me on the back. Becca put one arm around Sweeney’s shoulders and the other down around Cal’s waist, and we all started back toward our cars, parked in a line on the Abandoned Highway of Love.

With Mom gone, I could dodge the reporters by parking in the garage, but JoBell had to park over a block away and then sneak through backyards on foot to escape notice. I let her in, then went upstairs to shower and change into clean clothes, but when I came down to the living room, she wasn’t there.