Michael Fowler - Cold Death

Hunter nodded. He felt his stomach knot as he watched his dad wipe the corner of an eye with the back of a hand.

“All that is true but I have never told you why, have I son?” He made eye contact with Hunter for the first time. He lifted himself and took his wallet from his back trouser pocket, fished into one of the sleeves and extracted a crumpled yellowing piece of paper and proffered it.

Hunter reached across and took it. It was a yellow-aged Sellotaped news cutting, which he unfurled to get a fuller view. He glanced at the headline. It read: GLASGOW GANGSTERS SENTENCED FOR BRUTAL SLAYING OF MOTHER AND DAUGHTER. Below that was a smaller sub heading: SUPERGRASS TURNS QUEENS EVIDENCE. Hunter read most of the article before stopping.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to avoid all these years, you finding out the full facts. My names’ not Jock Kerr — or rather my birth name wasn’t that.”

Hunter felt as if he had been punched in the guts. His stomach turned and ached. He checked the looks on his mum’s face and then on the Detective Chief Inspector’s’. He knew from the exchange they gave him he had heard right. His head started to throb.

“I’m sorry son, I know this has come as a bit of a shock but now you know. I’ve been living under an assumed name for years. I was forced to change it after the trial. I took on your grandfather’s name from your Mother’s side and the Procurator Fiscal and the detectives on the case helped me to relocate to Yorkshire.”

“So you’re the supergrass in the article?”

“No — no, nothing like that. That was editorial licence. Let me tell you the full story before you judge me.”

“I think you’d better.”

“After I had to give up my boxing I didn’t know what to do, and Billy’s dad — Gordon Wallace — came to me one night when I was in the club having a beer, said he’d heard good things about me and maybe he could put some work my way. He knew I was good with my fists so he offered me some door work looking after a couple of clubs. I didn’t know who he was at the time. Then one day he turns up at the flat I had with your ma and says he wants me to keep an eye on his son Billy. He told me that some people were after giving him a good hiding and asked me if I’d drive him around and watch his back. Said he’d pay me a hundred pounds a week. Well I jumped at the chance didn’t I — where else could I earn that type of money? They gave me a Mercedes as well to drive. All he said to me was I wasn’t to ask too many questions but just watch his son’s back. Well the first time I picked Billy up he introduced me to his pal Rab and he asked me to drive them to this tenement because he had some business to sort out. I had no idea what he was up to until he and Rab came running back to the car and they asked me to get them out of there. There was blood everywhere. Billy said that the woman in the flat had slashed him with a knife. Then he told me that he’d shot her. They set fire to the flat as well. He was flashing this shooter about and I was really freaked. I drove them to some wasteland and watched them bury the gun and then they told me to drop them off. I was physically sick when I got home. Then the next day I saw on the news that they’d not only killed a woman but a five-year-old wee bairn as well. I told your ma what had happened and she told me to go to the police. I didn’t at first but I did give them a call and gave them Billy and Rab’s name. I don’t know how but a couple of days later two detectives came to the flat and asked me about the murders. I told them everything and they told me to find somewhere else to live until the trial. I knew I wouldn’t be safe especially once I found out about the gangster connections and so I agreed a deal with the police. I said I would give evidence if they gave me a fresh start and they did. I stopped being Iain Cambell.” For a second Jock closed his eyes. “Little did I realise what repercussions there would be. Do you realise now why I wanted to hold this back?”

“And that guy I saw you arguing with in Staithes?”

“Rab Geddes. It was sheer bad luck he recognised me, especially after all these years. Apparently he’d just dropped off an old friend of his after a stag night up in Glasgow.”

For a few seconds Hunter felt as if a great weight was pushing down on him. He was trying to make sense of what he had been told. It raised questions; what kind of person was his dad and just as important who was he.

“This may seem a strange question dad. Is my name really Hunter Kerr?”

His father looked shocked. “Of course it is. Only I changed my name. It was done by deed poll. Your mum was already a Kerr so she reverted back to her maiden name. You were christened Hunter and your birth certificate says that.”

Hunter dropped his head into his hands and rubbed them around his face. He could feel a migraine coming on. He hadn’t suffered one for ages. He knew in another hour or so the pressure would be so great that he would see flashing stars and be physically sick.

DAY THIRTY THREE: 25th September.

Sheffield:

Hunter adjusted the rear view mirror — turned it towards his face. He stared at his reflection and noted the dark rings, which circled his eyes. He stroked his jaw-line — he was in need of a shave.

Overall, you look like shit Hunter Kerr.

“You look crap,” said Grace.

It was as if she had heard the voice inside his head. He glimpsed across at her relaxing in the passenger seat.

“I feel it. I’ve had very little sleep the past couple of days.”

“Your dad?”

Hunter nodded. “He and my mum are staying with us after what’s gone on.”

“They’ll catch this Billy Wallace and his mate soon and then you can all put it behind you. It sounds to me as though they’ve got them bang to rights and they’ll be going back inside and die in prison.” Grace examined her fingernails, which she had done the previous evening. The pearlescent polish glinted in the sunlight.

“We won’t be able to put it behind us though will we? It’s always going to be there isn’t it?”

She turned sharply and fixed him a glare. “Oh for goodness sake Hunter, stop feeling sorry for yourself. How will it affect you in the future? It’s your dad this has happened to.”

“Grace he’s not the man I thought I knew. All these years he’s lied to me.”

“Listen to me Hunter. This is me talking to you not only as a friend and colleague but one wearing an impartial hat. Your father has not lied to you and never has done. Yes he’s held back the truth but that is not lying. And the way I see it he did it with all best intentions, especially with the job you’ve got. How could he have told his son — a cop — that he was involved with gangsters in his past? Think about it for a second — would you tell your sons?”

He held her stare. He had no response. He hadn’t looked at it like that.

“And from what you told me it seemed to me as though he had little choice. He was only twenty two at the time with all kinds of problems to deal with — mainly how to make a living for him and your mother after a promising boxing career was in tatters. I’m sorry but I don’t agree with you on this one. I feel for your dad. It must have been a living nightmare for him the last couple of months. Can you not imagine what must have been going on inside his head? He was trying to protect your mum and you from this. You need to take a long hard look at yourself Hunter. You’ve only got one set of parents. You know how much they’ve been there for you and how much you’ve got in common with your dad. He’s your friend as well as your father. If you carry on like this you’ll be in great danger of destroying your relationship. Anyway what’s Beth say about all this?”