Paolo Bacigalupi - The Doubt Factory

“Do you think I’m a sheep, too?”

“What?” Moses looked over, surprised.

“I mean, my whole life, it’s been rules. Get good grades. Stay in school. Don’t be late for class. Get an SAT tutor. Have at least three extracurriculars. Keep your GPA above 3.9. Volunteer for two charities. Get into an Ivy League school. Get a job that people can brag about, maybe in an investment bank. Then get a husband who’s even richer than you so you can get a baby and then quit your job, or maybe become a supermom and do it all and rule the universe….”

She trailed off, thinking of all the obedient Seitz boys and girls streaming across the quad in their school uniforms, heads down, cramming hard for the next round of exams, sweating hard for their 4.0.

“So, like I said, do you think I’m a sheep, too?”

“That was my uncle. Not me.”

“But that’s what I do. I go to school. I get good grades.”

“So? My dad built bridges. You don’t do that without going to college. I don’t think you’re some kind of Seitz robot girl.”

Alix wasn’t sure what kind of assurance she was looking for, but that wasn’t exactly it.

“Gee, thanks,” she said drily.

“Alix.” Moses stopped walking. “Seriously. Neither of us has to be whatever our people were. Maybe we’re outliers, right? Data scatter. Maybe we don’t show up as normal at all. You don’t end up in an investment bank, and I don’t end up in jail with my dumb uncle. You’re not like those other Seitz girls.”

“But I kind of am,” Alix pushed back. “That’s where I come from, right? Rich. White. All that.”

Moses laughed. “Well, you’re definitely white and you’re definitely rich. But no, you’re not the same. First time I saw you, I could tell.”

“What did you think you saw?”

“Something was just real screwy with you.”

Alix slugged him in the arm. Moses fended her off, laughing as she came after him again. He finally trapped her hands in his, leaving them both staring at each other, breathing hard.

“I’m serious,” he said. “As soon as I started watching you, I had a feeling about you. All the other girls you ran with… they were like perfect little dolls. Heads down, doing their little tests, going to their little parties, buying their little cars. Kook called you all cogs, but it was more than that. It was like you were the shiniest, prettiest, most expensive, high-tech cogs you’ve ever seen. I mean, you were all perfect, right?”

“And I wasn’t?”

Moses started walking again. “You know what I mean. It just looked like all the rest of your friends were going to find a nice, expensive slot to fit into… and you weren’t. I just kept looking at you and thinking your shape was wrong. Like if we bumped you right, you’d pop out. And then you’d be seriously dangerous.”

“You said that before, about my being dangerous. But I’m not.”

“Quit it,” Moses said.

“Quit what?”

“Quit it with the thing where you cut yourself down. You’re going to one of the best private schools in the country. You’re dangerous already. And that’s before you’re… you.”

“And I am…?”

“Okay.” Moses stopped. “How long did it take for you to put all the connections together about the Doubt Factory?”

“I don’t know. A couple of weeks.”

“It took me years.”

“But you told me where to start. It was easy with a jump start.”

“How late did you stay up doing all your research?”

“Late, I guess. I had classes, too.”

“Three AM? Four AM?”

“Sure. When else was I going to do it?”

Moses laughed. “You know a lot of your friends who spend their spare time rooting around in government acronyms? Trying to keep NIOSH and OSHA separate?”

“No, but—”

“What’s the Donors Capital Fund?”

Alix cast her mind back to her research, recalling her notes. “It’s a money anonymizer. There’s also Donors Trust, which is pretty much the same. Same address, anyway. Companies funnel money through it, and then Donors Capital Fund passes it on. Donors Fund spends a lot on climate doubt, but you can’t tell who’s giving the money to them. They’re funneling millions these days.”

“You see?” Moses was smiling at her. “You’re interested in the world, Alix. You might not know that, but it’s kind of rare. Someone throws a puzzle at you, and you start working it, and you start putting all these interesting pieces together while you work it. And, boy, do you work it. Next thing I know, I’ve got this Seitz girl wandering around in my factory, uninvited.”

“Well…”

“Seitz preps people to take a test, or go to college, or get a job, but it doesn’t want them to do anything important or new or risky or dangerous,” he said. “You’re not like them. You don’t want to be on a shelf.”

“So you think I was just waiting for you to come along?”

“I think there are some people who want to bite into something and just chew it to pieces. Not just take a little bite, but just mash the whole thing up and keep chewing. If I didn’t come along, you’d have stayed on track, for a while, and then, at some point, I think you would have jumped. I don’t think you were ever going to end up as an investment banker. You were never going to be a sheep.”

“I might have ended up working at BSP.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Definitely not.”

“No?”

“You would have ended up running BSP. You would have ended up turning BSP into a global company with offices in sixteen countries, but you wouldn’t have ended up just working there. Don’t sell yourself short, Alix. You’re dangerous.”

“I feel nauseated and complimented at the same time.”

“Just saying you’re not a sheep.”

“My boyfriend’s full of compliments today.”

Moses looked at her seriously. “Is that what I am? Your boyfriend?”

“What, you think I sleep with just anyone?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Of course you’re my boyfriend….” Alix faltered, suddenly feeling presumptuous and unsure of what Moses really felt for her. “I mean, if you want…”

Maybe he doesn’t like you that way .

“I mean,” Alix stumbled, “if you think I’m your girlfriend….” She felt like she’d stepped off a cliff and found open air under her feet. She threw up her hands. “Will you help me out here? I’m dying! What do you think we are?” She could feel herself blushing horribly.

Moses burst out laughing and pulled her close. “I think you’re cute when you’re blushing,” he said.

“You’re a jerk,” she said, her words muffled against his chest.

“Good thing you like me, then.” He pulled her in tighter.

“So this is serious, right?”

“Boyfriend, girlfriend, going steady, whatever you want to call it, I’m good with it.”

It felt almost criminal how much she liked being wrapped inside his arms.

BY THE TIME SHE PICKEDup Jonah at Sirius Comix, Alix was sweaty and happy, enjoying the fact of her secret life with Moses. She looked at her little brother affectionately. Life was good, the brother was good, all was good—

“You’re late,” Jonah complained.

“Sorry.” Alix grinned unrepentantly. “I got held up. You could have called.”

“I left my phone in your car,” he groused. He reached around on the floor and came up with it. He gave her another glare. “You used to be on time.”

Alix nodded absently and pulled out into traffic. “I said I was sorry already.”

“It’s okay.” He was fiddling with the phone, staring at it. “I know why you’re late. I get it.”