Paolo Bacigalupi - The Doubt Factory

“Doing some kind of Peeping Tom routine,” Kook said. “He talked to her.”

“I wanted to see what they were up to,” Moses protested.

“That’s what you’ve got us for! We’re the anonymous ones!” Kook said. “You’ve got an identity. They’ve already got you on camera.”

“All they’ve got is versions of me.”

“You know what I mean.” She scowled at him. “We shouldn’t be doing this. You’re in too close.”

“I’m not too close.”

“I’ll bet you know what color bra she wore today.”

Moses glared at her. “I know you’re wearing a black one—so?”

Adam watched the two of them arguing. “Nobody ever asks me what color bra I wear.”

Kook shot him a dirty look. Adam raised his hands defensively. “My bad.” He went back to the fridge and started pulling out two-liters of Coke. He peered between the bottles and then pulled out a quarter round of the most expensive-looking cheese that Moses had ever seen.

“What’s that?”

Adam at least had the grace to look guilty. Moses couldn’t believe it. “Is that for the rats?” he asked.

“Just one of them.” Adam opened his jacket, revealing a white rat tucked into his inner breast pocket. “He’s cute, right?”

Moses stared at the ceiling. “I live in an asylum.”

“This from the stalker?” Kook said.

“I am not a stalker,” Moses shot back.

Tank came in carrying a load of pizza boxes and stopped abruptly. He still had on his welder’s helmet, and judging from the look in his eyes, he wanted to slam the welding shield down and hide.

Adam took the pizza boxes from Tank and put them on the huge trestle table that they’d set up in the kitchen. “Come on,” he said, draping his arm over Tank’s shoulders. “Mom and Dad are fighting.”

“Fuck you, Adam,” Kook called after him.

“Not really interested, but thanks.” He ushered Tank out of the room, leaving Moses and Kook to face off.

Moses said, “You want to seriously mess with Tank’s mind any more than it’s already been messed with?”

“Don’t pull that con-man shit on me. We’re only fighting because you’re an idiot. The kid’ll be fine as long as you don’t fuck up his entire life because you’re addicted to some chick.”

Moses paused, trying to feel out the edges of Kook’s rage. “What’s getting you? Seriously. So I went and peeked in their windows. You know how good I am. You know Williams and Crowe are nothing for me.”

“Sure sure sure. You come and go like the wind. You’re a real genius at that shit.”

“That’s right. I’m a ghost. They never even know I’m there.”

“Except when you screw up and punch some headmaster.”

“That was one time.”

“What would your uncle say if you gave him that line?”

Moses grimaced. “Well, I didn’t screw up this time.”

“So what about the next—” She held up a hand before Moses had a chance to respond. “No. Don’t answer me. This is getting serious now. That’s what I want to say,” Kook said. “This is getting serious, and we can’t afford a screwup.”

“We knew it was going to get serious,” Moses said.

“Banks pushed the panic button way sooner than we expected.”

“Just because the brother pulled a disappearing act on them. It wasn’t even us. They just overreacted.”

“It doesn’t matter why, does it? What matters is that now they’re crawling with big guns. Williams and Crowe has it out for us. After the rat raid, they’re off the leash.”

“Those rats.” Moses shook his head. “They’re turning out to be a serious pain in the ass.”

“Don’t change the subject.” Kook glared at him. “I’m telling you, don’t get wrapped up in the target. We’ve been planning this too long for you to screw this up.”

“I won’t.”

“You better not. I swear to God I’ll pull the plug on this whole thing and let you burn if I think you’re going to screw it up.”

Moses looked at her. “Come on, Kook. I’m not going to screw it up. You know me.”

“No, I don’t. I used to think I did. But now?” Kook shook her head. “I have no idea who you are.”

Moses could see how worked up Kook was. She looked positively strung out. She was pretty deep into her high, riding the weird, ragged edge of pot and caffeine that she claimed kept her inspired and that also kept her sleepless for days at a time. The high that Adam kept telling her wasn’t healthy, but she didn’t care. She’s exhausted . Moses could see it in her bloodshot eyes and the dark circles under them. Even her Goth makeup couldn’t hide it.

He was aware of Adam and Tank listening from the doorway. Everyone was so fragile. So damn fragile.

“Yeah, you do know me,” Moses said. “You do.”

“No. You’re changing. Half the time I think you believe your own bullshit.”

“I’ll never change on you. Trust that. I will never let you down. That’s what people out there do,” Moses said, willing her to believe. “That’s not us. We’re solid. We’re granite.”

“You say. And then you go and sneak out and look in the target’s window.”

“Okay. My bad. It won’t happen again.”

“You promise?”

“Promise.” He went over to her, bent lower, so he was looking into her wild, dilated eyes. “This is me, Kook. It’s still me. Same as I always was. I’m a chameleon out there, but that’s not who I am here. Not with us. We’re family, right?”

“Sure we are.”

“I’m serious. I won’t risk us. Not ever. Not for a second.”

Kook looked up at him. In her eyes, he could see the wounds she hid from the outside world. They were family all right. He had scars. She had scars. The two boys listening at the door had scars. He pulled Kook close, into a hug.

“We’re family,” he said.

Kook went rigid for a second and then hugged him back. “My big black brother.”

“You know it.” He laughed. “Get in here, you guys.”

“Is it safe?” Adam called.

“Yeah,” Moses said. “Get in here. You might as well listen where you can actually hear.”

They both slunk into the kitchen. A rat ran across the floor, startled by their movement. Tank jumped and said, “Would you put that thing back in its cage?”

“I—” Adam checked his jacket. “It’s not mine. I still got my little guy. You must have let that one out when we moved all the cages.”

“No way. Don’t blame that shit on me,” Tank said. “If there’s rats still around, it’s because you kept letting them loose when you fed them.”

“Let it go,” Moses said. “Come here, you guys. Gather round. Kook’s right. This is serious. No mistakes from here on out. We’ve got no room for mistakes.”

He looked around at his crew. A ragtag bunch of kids as haunted as he was. Not a single one of them the same, and yet every one of them related, bound together by hurt and horror.

“We can still back out,” he said. “We can pull back right now. Walk away. This is our last chance, though. Once we start the next stage, we’re going to be up to our necks.”

“Once you’re halfway across the channel, you might as well keep swimming,” Adam said.

“I don’t even know what that means,” Moses said.

“The English Channel…” Adam shook his head. “Never mind. You’d have to be a swimmer.”

Tank snickered. “A prep school swimmer. We should have sent you into Seitz. Target would have loved you.”

Adam wrinkled his nose with disgust. “I can’t think of anything worse.”

“Knock it off,” Moses said. “Seriously. After we make the next play, we’re committed, forever. Right now, we can still walk away, live good lives. Forget any of this even happened. But after this? We’re in too deep. There’s no backing out.”