Stuart MacBride - The Missing and the Dead

And please, dear God, let him be carrying enough Class A drugs to put him away for a long, long time.

Logan crossed the road as Nicholson headed off. Staying on the same side of the street as Frankie Ferris’s house. He ducked behind a Transit with ‘BIG JEEMIE’S BUG CONTROL ~ WHO YOU GONNA CALL?’ stencilled down the side, complete with rip-off Ghostbusters logo.

‘Shire Uniform Seven, safe to talk?’

‘Bang away, Maggie.’

‘Bill says the rent on thirty-six Fairholme Place got paid every four weeks by direct debit from a Mrs Lesley Spinney’s TSB account until ten months ago. Then there was a couple of months paying cash.’

Overhead the herring gulls soared. An ice-cream van chimed in the distance.

Logan pressed the talk button. ‘Are you trying to build up dramatic tension here, Maggie? Only I’m dying of old age.’

‘Sorry, someone’s at the front desk. The rent now gets direct-debited from a Mr Colin Spinney’s account — Bank of Scotland.’

So Klingon’s mum stopped paying rent nearly a year ago and trusted her wee boy to look after it instead. Really? Why would anyone put a drug-dealing wee scruff like Klingon in charge of the rent? Pretty much guaranteed to wake up one morning to an eviction notice.

What if she didn’t stop? What if her direct debit stopped because her account was emptied?

‘Sergeant McRae, are you still there, only the front desk-’

‘Yes, thanks, Maggie. Tell Bill he’s a star from me.’

What if she never went to Australia after all?

Logan settled his bum down on the kerb and peered around the van.

It’d probably take Nicholson five minutes to get around to the other end of the street. Then all they had to do was wait till Martyn-with-a-‘Y’ finished his business with Frankie, find out what happened to Klingon’s mum, catch whoever killed the little girl out at Tarlair Outdoor Swimming Pool, arrest the Cashline Ram-Raiders, solve all the burglaries in Pennan, find Neil Wood before he molested any more children, and all would be right with the world.

How hard could it be?

A wheeze sounded at Logan’s shoulder. ‘I’m bored.’

He closed his eyes, rested his forehead against the bug van’s painted side. ‘So go back to the station and do your job instead of moaning about mine.’ He turned and pointed back along the road. ‘Go. That way. Down to the bottom of the hill, cross the road, and follow the signs for the harbour. It’ll take you ten, fifteen minutes, tops.’

Steel pursed her lips around the e-cigarette that poked from her lips. ‘Give us a lift.’

‘We’re trying to catch a drug dealer. That OK with you?’

‘You lowly Sergeant, me Detective Chief Inspector. Me want lift, you give lift.’

‘No.’ He turned back to the house. ‘You’re meant to be catching whoever killed that little girl. Go do it.’

‘Tell you what: why don’t I wave my magic wand and summon up the killer? Of course! Why’d I no’ think of that before? Hang on …’ Steel swooped her fake cigarette through the air. Then frowned. ‘Nope. That’s strange, it was working this morning.’

Still no sign of movement inside.

‘Well, what about your stable isotope analysis?’

Steel popped her magic wand back in her gob and gave it a sook. ‘Good job I outsourced it. Nothing like a bottle of eighteen-year-old Macallan to well-oil the wheels. My Dundee guru ran hair samples from the body last night — according to him, our wee girl spent the last four months dotting round the northeast, year before that in Glasgow, and the rest of the time’s split between the south coast of Wales and north London.’

Logan scribbled it down in his notebook. ‘What about further back?’

‘Can’t say without a bone sample, or one of her teeth. Got a request in with the Procurator Fiscal.’

‘So why are you sodding about here instead of chasing him up? You know what the Fiscal’s like!’ Logan turned and stared at her. ‘This is what happens when there’s no one running around after you, isn’t it? Everything goes to crap.’

A scowl. Then a smile greased its way across her face and her voice went all sing-song. ‘Give us a lift, or I won’t tell you what DI Porter said.’

Not so much as a hint of remorse or guilt. Typical.

Deep breath. Sigh. Back to watching the house.

Maybe Frankie and Martyn-with-a-‘Y’ had settled down in front of the football? Couple of beers and some crisps. Jammy sod.

Steel poked Logan. ‘Aren’t you going to ask?’

‘Fine: who the hell is DI Porter?’

‘No lift, no intel.’

His shoulders dipped. ‘Look, this is what we do, OK? This is us working.’

Steel tugged at his sleeve. ‘But I’m bored .’

‘You know what I haven’t missed? This. Babysitting you, like a small whiny child.’ He pulled his arm out of her grasp. ‘If you want to go: go. I’m staying here, till Martyn Baker comes out.’

‘Be like that, then.’

The sound of her boots scuffed away into the distance.

Finally.

He peered around the other side of the van. Nicholson was crouched down behind a Fiat Punto about a hundred yards down the road. She was using her bowler hat as a fan, wafting air over her shiny face. Not surprising. Day like today, with the sun hammering down? Not exactly the best time to be dressed all in black with a stabproof corset on.

A trickle of sweat made its way down Logan’s spine and into his underwear.

‘Come on, Martyn, where the hell are you?’

Hang around like this much longer and someone was going to get suspicious. Assuming Logan and Nicholson didn’t keel over with heat-exhaustion first.

A sharp crump of shattering plastic broke the stillness. Then did it again.

Nicholson stepped out onto the pavement, staring past where Logan was lurking.

The booming clang of dented metal was swiftly followed by the discordant, outraged wail of a car alarm.

He turned and there was Steel, standing on the pavement, hands behind her back. She grinned at Logan, e-cigarette dangling from the corner of her mouth. ‘What?’

Martyn Baker’s shiny new Ford Fiesta had two broken headlights and a big dent in the passenger door. Its indicators flashed, horn blaring.

Steel shrugged. Raised her voice over the skirl of the alarm. ‘What, this?’ Nodding at the car. ‘Was like that when I found it.’

Great — and Logan was the one Professional Standards wanted to shaft.

‘Are you insane ?’

A door banged open and there was Martyn-with-a-‘Y’, face flushed, teeth bared. ‘MY CAR!’ His Birmingham accent stretched the last word out, like a small scream. Only it wasn’t Frankie’s drug-dealing hovel he’d come out of, it was the house opposite his blinking wailing Fiesta. The one with the rose bushes, water feature, and plastic Wendy house.

He lurched down the path and onto the pavement, mouth moving as if trying to chew out the words, eyes bugging. Presumably taking in the fresh dents and shattered plastic. Then he turned on Steel. ‘DID YOU-’

‘A big boy did it and ran away.’ She flashed her warrant card. ‘One of my colleagues is in hot pursuit. Mr …?’

He laid his palms flat on the roof of the Fiesta, as if he could summon the Power of the Lord to heal the afflicted. ‘My car!’

‘This your vehicle, Mr Mycar? Any chance you could turn off the alarm, only it’s doing my head in.’

His lips made a creased snarl. Then he stepped back, pulled out his keys and pressed the fob.

Silence.

‘Much better.’ Steel dug a finger into her ear and wiggled it. ‘You staying in the area, Mr Mycar?’

Martyn-with-a-‘Y’ narrowed his eyes, jaw muscles knotting the line of spots along his chin. ‘See if I get my hands on the little-’